he just met my parents over the weekend. we have been going out for about 11 months. i had dreams of him and me getting married once i finished school and have kids, and be happy. u see he is the only one that can make my heart happy, he completes me in every way. he is 32 and i am 20. he has two kids. I really love him with all my heart, il do anything to save this relationship. when he told me about the mariage thing he said he would never do that b/c he had done that with his exwife and it didnt work, and then he told me that i first have to live with him for about 3 or 4 years and then maybe get married. he believes that he is ruinning me by him giving me hopes in life and since he has lost hope on me its not going to work. he lives his life day by day until one day one or the other will give up on the relationship, he tells me over and over that he loves me with all his heart and i dont know if to believe him or not, please help i need peoples advice im very heartbroken.........
2006-12-18 03:42:16 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
u sound just like i did back then. my hubby is 32 and im 23. except i chose to live with him for the 3-4 years and well now we are married :) he also had two boys. I hope this all works out for you. You cannot make someone love you. Instead try to show him how much you love him, and make sure he knows you will always be there for him and that you want to be with him and you are sure and you are ready and if he needs the time to wait and see, give that to him. Dont push getting married, dont nag on it. It will happen if its meant to be. Just love the man thats all he needs. Hes been through real rough times. Goodluck huni!
2006-12-18 03:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because because he has been a married man once, with a Divorce and great responsibility of looking after his Children. He might just have so much to "juggle" in his hands...when you two met, his "light" of hope was probably fading, since he had to go through a lot. Maybe he was hoping to have a certain "you" and ended up with someone MUCH better or a little different than he thought...It is not your fault and it is not his. Right now it seems he is just confused, and heartbroken as well. Men are good "Feeling Hiders" so you'll never find out EVERY single thing they feel or are thinking of.
I do think it's a little unfair of him telling you he doesn't want to marry you because he has lost hope in you, after repeatedly reminding you of his "great love" for you...
But life has many miracles stored for you, age is just a number...but a number that can be too mature, a little immature, or perhaps both....God Bless You and the Best of Luck in Life and your Future...
2006-12-18 12:07:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many divorced males feel this way - it's not uncommon. Getting remarried after you've come through a bitter breakup is not something you even want to think about. If you love him, give him some time. But if you're not willing to wait around for a marriage certificate then just move on. Marriage is not something you pressure someone into.
2006-12-18 11:47:05 · answer #3 · answered by Spugsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he went through a very painful divorce and because of that he is hesitant to open himself back up to another..so you have to decide whether it's worth it to live with him first or not because marriage isn't going to be part of the equasion..so the question is, do you think you have to get married first or are you willing to try a relationship with him without?
2006-12-18 11:47:03 · answer #4 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋