My brother in law visited with his family.
He has an 11 month that they let cry it out at bed times
these sessions lasted 1 hour to 1.5 hours sometimes
I have a toddler which was scared from the crying and coudln't sleep
I have a newborn that was being woken up constantly
Now for my husband's sake I told them to do what they have to do, whatever to make their stay comfortable.
But when they left I was thinking that since they were only visiting for 3 nights couldn't they have just layed down with her to have her fall asleep quietly. The screaming and crying was driving everyone crazy and it made me so happy to see them leave after only being her 2 whole days. I just thought if it was me, I wouldn't do that to other people's kids, you want to teach your child to cry it out do it in the privacy of your own home.
2006-12-18 03:41:01 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I believe they were inconsiderate. I say this as a mother who at one point had to use the cry it out with her son. When we visited people, we did not let our son cry it out in the middle of the night. Only to go to bed, if everyone else was up, because his going to bed crying wasn't common and if he did, it wasn't very long.
Heck, we even didn't let our son cry it out if WE had company, because we didn't want to inturrupt thier sleep.
For short term, they should have tried a different method.
2006-12-18 03:59:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Each baby/ parent combination has a different way of teaching children how to self-sooth and go to sleep. Sadly, if you change the routine, you can set a child back along way (3 days means that you have to start all over and these hour long cry sessions might have been worse before).
I'm not a fan of the "cry it out" group, but I think that you have to understand that everyone does it differently. I'm sure that neither your baby nor your toddler suffered through it. (Toddlers will do anything and look for any excuse not to sleep and your newborn has forgotten all about it already).
Let your brother-in-law off the hook, it's obvious that his life is rough and he's not getting much sleep lately. You wouldn't do what he did, but he did and that's ok too.
Next time, offer to pay half for a hotel room if it is that bad.
2006-12-18 14:32:56 · answer #2 · answered by smartygirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd say this was not only rude, but mean of them. If the crying went on for that long, then I assume that she wasn't very used to falling asleep on her own, or wasn't tired. Either way it must have been very upsetting for her to be in a strange house, and wonder why her parents are not coming to comfort her. If she was much older and just misbehaving, that'd be another story, but 11 months? She must have been scared!
2006-12-18 12:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by Bluem 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes--the brother in law should have been more sensitive to the rest of the home's occupant's needs (like the need for everyone else to get some sleep). The next time they came, I'd have them stay in a hotel if the they are still letting the child cry it out.
2006-12-18 11:44:39 · answer #4 · answered by kathylouisehall 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
We used the "cry it out" method for maybe three nights and it all worked out. Some nights our son is cranky and still cries a little--maybe ten minutes--before falling asleep. We visit my father-in-law often but I would never even think of letting him cry-it-out. I normally rock him to sleep in the guest bedroom to put him to sleep and that's that. I don't know what your brother is thinking. Not only is that rude but I feel it's wrong if the child simply will not fall asleep after fifteen minutes to let them cry-it-out.
Talk to your brother about moving the child's bedtime up. I noticed that if you don't have the right bed-time for a child's routine it's harder to get them to sleep every night which sounds like his problem. Do they have a routine? That's another big step.
Either way--I concur that it was very rude for them to disturb your home with their child's cry.
2006-12-18 11:50:08 · answer #5 · answered by .vato. 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I agree with you, they should not have let that happen.
It's fine if they want to do that at their own home. But if they have been doing this for awhile I would think at 11months the baby would have been broke by now too. The baby may have had a problem or something too.
I feel for you!! Next time let them know how you feel. It's your home you shouldn't have to put up with that.
2006-12-18 11:54:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, they could of laid with the child because the baby is in a new place and it wasn't comfortable. But if they were at their own house then they could have done whatever they wanted. That's was kind of inconsiderate of them. But now you know, if they come and visit again what to do, or what to expect.
2006-12-18 11:47:26 · answer #7 · answered by Jazz21 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would have laid down with the child. The kid was probably nervous and upset, anyway, from being in a different/strange place. It's okay to let your baby cry it out at home, but not when it disturbs other people or babies.
2006-12-18 11:43:54 · answer #8 · answered by momofmodi 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I don't they should have let him "cry it out" in a strange place and should have modified their bedtime ritual to accomodate EVERYONE in the house. Kids are not stupid- even tiny babies can recognize that they are in a different place and know that if bedtime is different than at home, it's because they are not at home. It's not sending "mixed messages."
2006-12-18 12:24:15 · answer #9 · answered by Milana P 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree to a point.You don't want to change up a parenting schedule than it will make it harder in the long run.I see what you mean though.maybe a day or two wouldn't of mattered much.
each child is different.
2006-12-18 11:53:01 · answer #10 · answered by swtluvingcntrygirl 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋