Before him I was in an unhappy 10 year relationship. Near the end of the relationship I started cheating....should I tell my boyfriend this? I don't want him to think I'm the cheating sort even though I did it with my ex. I would never cheat on him....and plan on spending the rest of my life with him. Should I just leave it be and tell him the truth if he asks or should I sit him down and tell him all of it now?
2006-12-18 03:39:59 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
guys tend to put the past behind...and are more forgiving..it was before you knew him...so i think he'll be alright..and u regret the past and wish it wasn't the way it turned out...just tell him if it makes you feel better..you don't have to give him the grissly details..as i know you most probably were fighting hard to forget the past yourself and put all the bad stuff behind our...you know what...the truth shall set you free...if he can't live with your past then maybe he's not prepared to live with your future......he needs to accept you for who you are past preset and future...it's not easy for the both of you but it's what's best ...i hate living with a secret...it can only come to haunt u later..
2006-12-18 03:52:13 · answer #1 · answered by docKnowitall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion it is better to tell someone the truth reguardless of what happened in our past eventhoug it was our past, If he know that you won't cheat on him and he can be sure of it then you won't have too many problems. The longer you keep this from him the worse it is going to get and the harder it is to tell him. When you tell him tell him everything and why, but him know that you care a lot about him and that you hope this does effect your relationship with him. If he is any kind of a guy then he will understand and not hold it against you and respect you enough for telling him in the beginning so he does not think you are hidding from him, if not then you have serious problem and be prepared to move on, I know it is hard but you do what you have to do and because you want to.
2006-12-18 03:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do whatever you feel in your heart. If you really love him and you want to be with him for the rest of your life then you must have no secrets in play. If you don't tell him and he finds out later he may never trust you again. Because if you felt like it was bad enough were you couldn't tell he then he's not good enough for you.And he will feel like you are a cheater, and your probably cheating on him now. I think you should tell, just be prepared for the secrets that he may want to share, that may be were the conflict comes in at. And if you guys really love each other it want matter what you did in the past. Good Luck...
2006-12-18 04:03:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to him now. Imagine how he would feel if you didn't tell him and then somehow he finds out in the future. Not only would he be angry that you never told him, but he would be really hurt that you didn't trust him enough to talk to him. If he really cares about you, he will take your info and put it behind him. Just don't let him be blindsided if he's ever in a situation where it comes up.
2006-12-18 03:49:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him......If the two of you develope a serious relationship, it will come out eventually so it is better if he knows from the start. Good relationships are built on trust and honesty. I am sure you want to know everything about his past, so you should give him the same respect and honestly you would expect from him.
2006-12-18 03:44:29 · answer #5 · answered by PDH 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, tough one. Chaces are he'll bring it up. If he asks, tell him the truth and explain why you did what you did. I know he'll prob say there is NO excuse for what you did (that is what I would say), but try anyway. If he really loves you he will realize it was in the past and this is the present. Good luck!!!
2006-12-18 03:43:36 · answer #6 · answered by sweet_carmel_angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never start out lying. If he is worthy enough to spend the rest of your life with he deserves the truth. Besides, if you two really love each other it should work out.
2006-12-18 03:44:02 · answer #7 · answered by ksmpmjoll 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ThE PAST should do just that. Stay in the PAST. Your PAST has nothing to do with your current relationship. So why would you want to bring it up. Let sleeping dogs lay.
2006-12-18 03:56:31 · answer #8 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pros: You're being honest and if the past ever comes up, you won't look like a liar. Honesty.
Cons: It could seed doubt, if you didn't tell him about it and it came up - then you look like you're hiding something.
I say tell him, simply because it's better to deal with it now, than to have it really blow up in your face later.
2006-12-18 03:47:51 · answer #9 · answered by jirstan2 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him about your cheating past. You can talk about the problems with your past relationship, it will help him with this one.
2006-12-18 03:44:11 · answer #10 · answered by rilindy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋