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My boyfriend and I have been together for three years in May. It seems like he never trusts me. He gets mad when I go out and if I am with my guy friends he flips out on me. It always seems like everyday he analyzes our relationship and tells me what I am doing wrong or what we need to work on. Which is great. He has also abused me in the past but now has changed but the jealousy is still there. For instance my phone got wet so it stop working. I couldn't call him so he flips out and assumed that I did not go to work this morning and that I am lieing and saying I am at work. Should I stay and work out our probelms or should I just leave him now? He tells me he trusts me but I do not see the trust there

2006-12-18 03:22:37 · 55 answers · asked by sexy*kitty 3 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

55 answers

It's okay to get jealous sometimes, but this is way too serious. Has he been like this since the first day you've been together with him? It's been three years now, its kind of hard for him to change since you're 'okay' with it. What I meant is, you two should've sort this out a very long time ago. But this has been going on for three years, I was wondering why you didn't leave earlier. Especially when you mentioned bout him abusing you.

You need to be firm. Tell him what you're feeling about the relationship. Give him time, if he's willing to change, then maybe you can give him a second chance, but if he still keeps on abusing or didn't trust you, I think you should leave him. Trust is very important in a relationship. You don't have trust, means you have nothing. Just follow your heart, if you think that this relationship isn't gonna get you anywhere, then I think you really should just break it off before it gets worst.

2006-12-18 03:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by Kate 2 · 0 0

It is really up to you what you feel you have to do, you mentioned that your boyfriend was abusive to youwell just because it stopped for a short time does not mean that it won't happen again. It is obvious that no matter what you do and where you go that your boyfriend does not trust your judgement, Did you tell you boyfriend that you cell phone got wet and that is the reason that it is not working. Your boyfriend could have some issues , and they could be anything. In my opinion I would leave the relationship and start a new one if I had an abusive boyfriend, even thoug it not very often that he has a really bad day. I am sure whatever his intentiions are they were meant to be good but if he loved you then he would not accuse you of lying to him, apparently he has forgotten the meaning of the word truth. As I said before it is what you feel you have do ,but make sure your choices are right and it what you believe and what you want to believe.

2006-12-18 03:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0 0

If there is a trust issue it will be a long process but it doesn't seem this is a trust issue. It seems like this is a control issue. If he was abusive in the past, they never change. It may seem like he changed but they really don't. He just stopped being abusive physically and started being abusive emotionally and mentally by being so demanding, putting you down and making you tell him exactly where you are at. Leave, it doesn't get better, just worst.

2006-12-18 03:25:53 · answer #3 · answered by Andrea D. 3 · 1 0

From my personal experience with a man just like your boyfriend, I say leave. I was in a relationship with a guy that was very very jealous and controling when I was younger, I was very miserable, it brought my self esteem way down to almost nothing, I ended up hiding everything I did from him because even the every day things in life like going to the store made him mad. Things will not change for you, you can't live like that and stay sane. I walked away one day after five years, plus I was engaged, I thank God every day that I didn't stay with him. I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone in my life, so I let go. He has now seen the light and is married to a great lady, and has two kids, she had a stronger personality than me, and she was able to show him his faults and help him, I was not able to do that because he thought all the fault was in me. Good luck whatever you do, but I say don't stay, you will have a miserable life.

2006-12-18 03:29:53 · answer #4 · answered by donnarainingsky 1 · 1 0

If you really know you love him then stay... I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now and we argue and disagree and he's jealous of me and im jealous of him because we love eachother so much and the thought of them being around another guy or girl worries us not the fact that we dont trush its the fact anything could happen like you could say no but dosent mean it wont happen or we all know that guys think about one thing and your bf probably is thinking thoes guys are with my gf thinking that about her and it makes them mad.. Me and my bf dont need to hang out with other men or woman we have eachother and i have girlfriends i hang out with and he has guy friends that we both know or we both have mutual friends... If its a more serious relationship then u give up things for the one u love and they give up things for you its the way serious relationships and marriage works... give a little get a little. Equality. So if you love him stay if your just with him for the feeling of not being alone or just to have someone there.... then leave because your not ment for eachother and theres many people that can make you feel that way and im sure you have plenty of time to find that person.

Hope all goes well! Good Luck!

2006-12-18 03:34:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

okay if he has abused you in the past then why are you even with him right now. and as far as the jealousy thing is going hes controlling you mentally and also physically when he puts his hands on you. he needs help. if you really do love him and want to still be with him even after hes abused you then try to talk to him about his problem but i dont think its a good idea to stay with this type of guy . hes put his hands on you before what makes you think he wouldnt do it again. for your own happinees and saftey i would seriously get out of the relationship and move on

2006-12-18 03:27:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It really depends, However a good relationship is when two people can really trust and communicate with one another. If he is that jealous and angry and you say he could used to be abusive then how do you know he will not revert back to how he was before and become abusive again? You have think about it good and hard and decide if you really think this relationship is healthy and worth it

2006-12-18 03:26:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

No. You shouldn't. You said he has abused you in the past? He will do it again. Let's see: he is abusive, does not trust you, thinks you will hook up wtih other people, "flips out" on you. This are all the makings of a psycho/Lifetime movie.

Get away from him.

You deserve to be with someone who loves you and treats you well and isn't an insecure selfish pig.

2006-12-18 03:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by Mimi 7 · 1 0

Run - Run - RUN!!!! You say he has abused you in the past but that has changed. I guarantee that it hasn't - he's controlling it right now but eventually he won't control it. He uses everything that you do as an excuse to get angry and you let him control you to appease him and divert his anger. Do you really want to spend any more time with someone like this - just to have a boyfriend? Is it really worth it? One of these days he's going to lose control and beat the daylights out of you. This is not a trust issue - this is a control issue.

2006-12-18 03:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by hoosiergal0946 2 · 0 0

He sounds insecure about himself and he takes this out on you and the relationship he has with you. If you have been with him 3 years and there isn't much trust, it isn't likely to improve if you stay in the relationship. Plus, he was abusive to you in the past, and you stayed with him. It's only a matter of time before he abuses you again. Get out while you can!

2006-12-18 03:29:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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