i was wondering is marrying then divorcing after kids in your late 20's odd i am considering it ?

Question

i have 3 sons and i am 27 and i want a divorce is this healthy for my sons

Answer 1

Well, divorce is never "healthy" for anyone, but it's better than letting your sons see you in a destructive relationship. Staying together for the kids' sakes never works and puts way too much pressure and responsibility on your kids.
Still, my advice would be to see a marriage counselor and see if you can work out whatever problems you're having. If you gave all you could to try and make your marriage work and it's STILL not working, then your sons will survive the divorce. Just explain to them carefully, give them plenty of TLC, and make sure they understand you both love them very much and that it's not their fault.

Answer 2

It really depends on what the home situation is like. An abusive or destructive home is not healthy for children to live in. Divorce can be traumatic, but sometimes it's the better option. But if the relationship can be healed, it would be good to try it.

My Mom divorced my Dad when I was 10... and I asked her to. My Dad was horrible, and I lived in fear of him all the time. I was so happy when my Mom left him. Even though we were poor afterwards, and had a lot of hard times, we always said it was the best thing she ever did.

So for me it was the healthiest possible option, but I do think there are many cases of frivolous divorce. So think your situation over carefully and do what you think is best.

Good luck!

Answer 3

There is such a thing as a good divorce. If the home life is full of chaos, ill feelings, arguments, then it is best to get a divorce regardless of the age of the child. The impression of the proper behavior in a marriage is learned at a very early age.

People do change with life experience. You can grow further apart as you grow older, especially if you stop sharing mutual interest with your partner. It is possible to be more alone in a marriage than when you live by yourself. I would suggest counseling before divorce. Find out what is broke before you decide that you can't fix it.

Answer 4

Absolutely…Now people always have differing opinions on this. However, I feel if your marriage is not healthy it can end up being more emotionally traumatizing for your children than trying to keep it together for them. I’m not sure how old your children are, but people don’t realize that kids most definitely can sense when things aren’t going right between their parents. It might be a difficult transition in the beginning but I would say it is better for you children sooner, rather than later. Also while it is important to do what is best for your children, you also have to know what is best for you. Everyone deserves to be happy and you can’t give your children your ALL, if you, yourself are unhappy.

Answer 5

A split home is never healthy for children. It should be avoided at all costs. If the home environment is so hostile and abusive that you need to get out to save your sanity and safety, then yes, you should get a divorce.

But to do it so flipantly, just beacuse you want out and are bored or what have you, certainly would have negative side effects.

Even children from split abusive homes suffer greatly. My friend grew up with a dad who cheated, and after the divorce was abusive to her her mother, and her sister. She's still not right, and probably never will be.

Answer 6

A divorce is never good but it's better than being in a bad relationship....
As long as you and soon to be ex always think of the kids first and don't use them as pawns, they'll adjust and be just fine.

Answer 7

I am in a very similar situation. 27 with three kids. It is a very big decision to be made,both for the kids and yourself. Raising three kids by yourself will not be easy. E-mail me and we can talk, maybe we can figure something out.

Answer 8

This is horrible for the children. Don't do it if he is a good father.