where to start. the ex on the couch- we're done. especially after the things he said and did this weekend. this is a guy who talked about wanting to marry me 3 months ago and now he 'isn't ready for a relationship.' he broke up with me, saying that he didn't want to date anyone and when he is ready it would be me that he wanted to be with. since breaking up with me he has been sleeping on my couch, eating my food, driving my car, using my phone, spending my money (he quit his job this past week) and letting me take care of his kids. I'M DONE. anyway, the guy i was with before him and i hung out the other night. he and i have been friends since we broke up. 3 weeks ago his baby was born premature and is in the hospital. long story short, he all but proposed to me. (said he already has a good step-mom in mind for the little man, the baby should be mine and not someone else's, among other things) i left with him that night. i feel like i'm sneaking around, but should i?should i feel bad?
2006-12-18 02:25:04 · 13 answers · asked by biz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
maybe i was a little unclear on some of this. the ex that is on the couch is there because he choses to be. he and i are not in a relationship because he isn't ready for one. and with his decision i cut off all relationship type activity. he is still on the couch because he had lived with me before we broke up, and for the most part we are great frineds. the main reason i can't tell him to move out though is his kids. if i tell him to leave, he has nowhere to go and neither do they. i love them too much to take something out on them that is their dad's fault. the 'new guy' is my ex of a year and a half. not so new. i guess what i really want to know is, am i wrong for trying to move on and make myself happy again?
2006-12-18 02:38:29 · update #1
you are not wrong for trying to make yourself happy again. in fact, you need to do so. I think you are being way too nice to this guy, providing all that stuff for him, when he just broke up with you. are you nuts? kick him out. it's his job to take care of himself and if you are feeling bad about the kids, tough love. he should have thought about that beofre he quit his job.
2006-12-24 16:53:02 · answer #1 · answered by ♥perishedmemories♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you should feel kinda uncomfortable here.
Wow! you have a lot going on in your life. Take a minute and breathe and go somewhere you can be alone to think for a while.
I hope this doesn't sound harsh. It's not meant to be. I just want it to be as clear as possible.
Get the dude off your couch.
RUN as fast as you can away from the other guy. Try for a relationship that is not an EX when you're ready for one. You don't need his baby-mama drama.
Make an appt to see a counselor.
Spend some time learning to be alone and then you can be in a relationship.
I agree with Mr Garcia
2006-12-18 02:31:52 · answer #2 · answered by Faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are addicted to DRAMA. I've seen TV soaps with less drama than this! You have a failing relationship with one guy who you let continue to sleep on your couch. That isn't bad enough, so you start up a new relationship with an ex. What is in the works for next week - alien abduction?!
2006-12-18 02:42:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should feel bad. Theres no need to jump into a relationship while your ex is still on the couch. Just slow down. As for the new guy...no need to rush into being a step mom either.
2006-12-18 02:28:22 · answer #4 · answered by SamIam82 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to take responsibility for your own behavior. You are allowing your ex to sponge off of you; no one else could have made you accept it otherwise. As to your previous ex-boyfriend you seem to be a prime candidate to be used in that situation as well. The mother of his premature child could probably enlighten you as to how you could expect to be treated in the future if you take his bait. It may be time to examine your own life and work on yourself before jumping back into either relationship. You have some work to do--get to it!! I also suggest you read materials on what co-dependency is and she if you recognize yourself. Good Luck
2006-12-18 02:36:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, get the ex off the couch.
2006-12-18 02:28:20 · answer #6 · answered by hoverlover7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you should read your question as if you were reading someone elses question, What would your advice be?
Are his kids living with you also? That could be a problem, but I think I would kick him out!
2006-12-18 02:31:15 · answer #7 · answered by Merrily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel bad as long as you're being honest with your ex. If you are keeping things from him then... yes... you have reason to feel guilty. Not for your actions but for lying. Good luck to you and God bless!
2006-12-18 02:29:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to re-phrase your question.
"Is it wrong for my ex to be sleeping on my couch whilst I am in a new relationship?"
I think you'll find the answer is a resounding "YES!" - Get rid of him.
2006-12-18 02:30:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no... kick him out...and then just go on with your life
he did all this to him self...ok
dont let him get to you...or he wins
stop giving him money, hind the car keys, stop buying food.
he will not have anything, if all falies call the land lord, or cops and have him removed
2006-12-18 02:38:25 · answer #10 · answered by ace_71385 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋