You have been with a guy for over two years, but since lately you are not feeling the same way about him, you find someone else who you really want but don't want to hurt the other guy feelings.
2006-12-18 02:12:05 · 4 answers · asked by san 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have to tell him.you are hurting him by not telling him.
2006-12-18 02:18:49 · answer #1 · answered by Cutiepie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its entirely a choice you need to make. Basing a relationship on the feeling of love isn't something that's advisable, as with time the emotion fades, or you become so used to its presence, you don't notice it anymore.
Several things you might want to consider about the person you're with:
Is he the kind of a person whom you can relate well too? Important because communication is important in any relationship, especially so in long term marital relationships, and even more once it progresses to marriage. Communication relies on a number of things, being able to not only understand what you and he are trying to say, but also what you and he both feel. Also its important that the both of you are comfortable when speaking to each other, having reservations and inhibitions is going to hamper communication.
Is your relationship with him nurturing? Nurturing as in mutually nurturing, think back, in the time you've known him to now, how have you grown and benefited from the relationship the 2 of you share. And then how he has benefited from the relationship, has he grown too, or is he stifled by it, or have you been stifled by it. And when i mean stifle, i don't mean restriction of privledges, but whether its preventing you from growing in character.
Another question you'll want to ask is how the 2 of you have weathered the storms of life. Has he been a bulwark for you in times of trouble, supported you and given you the encouragement you needed to survive, or better cope with the crisis? And likewise, have you done the same for him? As relationships grow, trouble will chance along your way, its important that the 2 of you can help each other survive it.
Next, how do the 2 of you respond to conflict? Its less a question of whether or not the 2 of you fight, but how do you resolve the fight. Does it end off with a few bruised feelings, but all the problem issues out of the way, and salve on your emotions for the next few days? Or does it end with deep wounds and unresolved issues? I don't need to tell you why this is important.
Finally, are the both of you mature enough to adapt and change for the benefit of EACH OTHER. Meaning each of you, change and adapt yourselves for the other person, expecting nothing in return? If you have this, the 2 of you are pretty much set for life, because as times change, so do people. Its imperative that a couple are able to change and keep pace with each other, and even more so that they think of their partners first, and thenselves 2nd.
2006-12-18 02:26:06 · answer #2 · answered by Dai S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is possible that you dont have fillings for you guy of two years anymore & there is nothin wrong with that, peoples fillings change! But you shouldn't just kind of get bored with the other guy & up & decide you want this other guy you could end up hurting your boyfriend, the other guy, & more importantly yourself! All i can tell you is dont give up on something or someone you really love for someone you are just crushing on!
GOOD LUCK :)
2006-12-18 02:20:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what would you prefer to tell the truth or cheat --- i know i would prefer to know the truth --- its out then and you can both move on
2006-12-18 02:19:38 · answer #4 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋