i have been sleeping with a guy for a few months now. hes recently ask and told me he would like a r.ship. i want this too but he wants me to sleep with his friends and swap. basically i get to sleep with his male friends and he can sleep with other women. i dont want this but i have started to get feelings for him. i feel that hes just using me for sex and that i am like a toy to him. surely if he wanted a relationship and settle down he wouldnt want me to sleep with other guys or is it because he just cant keep to one woman and feels the need to sleep with other women too....or am i not good enough?..would value your comments
2006-12-18 00:46:52 · 25 answers · asked by Due 3rd Nov 08 with girl! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
tell him if he wants a relationship u will have to be the only women in his life and that u are not comfortable with him sleeping with other girls and u sleeping with his firends, if he doesnt like that dump his *** hes a playa and just wants u for the sex find a nice guy who wants more then just sex
2006-12-18 00:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by HanginByAMoment 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want a relationship with u, he just reeled u in just like he has probably done with many so him and his friends could use u. You need to leave him immediatly and get some feelings for yourself. All that will happen out of that is a little game for him and his friends and then u will be down the road while they look for someone new. Don't u feel u are worth more than to be his personal prostitute?? Keep your self worth and pride and find someone who truly wants a future with u.
2006-12-18 09:03:39 · answer #2 · answered by Amber 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Amber called it right - this is nothing more than prostitution, only I'll bet HE gets the cash!
Get out fast - I have heard documented stories of girls being pulled into prostitution in exactly this way. Make sure you have somewhere to go where he can't reach you - a friend or relative's house - as I think he sounds very controlling and maybe even worse.
2006-12-18 09:15:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is having a laugh at your expense, wake up and smell the bullsh*t.
He's manipulated you into having feelings for him and dropped this at an opportune moment.
If your not into swapping and letting all his mates have a go at you (which is basically what this is) tell him to go forth and multiply.
This guy is a scumbag and will mess with your mind, your heart and your confidence.
You sound like a decent girl, drop this jerk like a bad habit.
2006-12-18 08:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously not interested in your opinion or having any respect for you.
Suprised you even ask the question.
If he cared at all, he wouldn't even be thinking about it, let alone ask. Now he's proved he's just using you, there is no way for him to genuinely back track. Sure he can say sorry, but should you forgive his original thoughts on this ? I doubt it, how can he ever be trusted ?
You are after different things from relationships at this stage in your lives....move on
2006-12-18 09:03:14 · answer #5 · answered by Michael H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that their are all kinds of relationships in this world,,,and I definately don't think what he wants is a relationship like you want,,,,he seems not ready to just settle with one woman,,,,the fact that he would let his friends be intimate with you says it all,,,,if he truly cared for you,,,he would never want to let you go ,,,and never want anyone to get close to you,,,and be with you in that way,,, NEVER!!!! Sometimes,,,,we want something so bad that we tend to settle for what is in front of us and not look at the whole picture,,,,how would it make you feel knowing he was sleeping with other women and not just you,,,,EXACTLY,,,,that is why you need to move on and look for someone that can be committed to just you and not everyone else,,,,you deserve better than that,,,,,their are qualities about him that you really like that are similiar to what you are looking for in a guy ?? RIGHT???
but,,,,if you look at the whole picture,,,,he is not the guy of your dreams or you would not be on here,,,,,and you would know in your heart,,,,not asking what to do,,,,understand,,,,,
dont sell yourself short of what you deserve,,,,,loyality, trust, committment, faith, love, kindness, friendship, happiness, respect, self-worth, ,,,,, now the question is for you,,,,
" if you stay with him and continue the relationship, and you begin to swap, and he is swapping with other women,,,,,,,,will you feel all ot these things at night when you lay your head down to go to sleep?????????
I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IT,,,,,,,MOVE ON AND FIND BETTER,,,,,,,,,
GOOD LUCK
DAPHNE
2006-12-18 09:00:13 · answer #6 · answered by Daphne F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would get rid of him! He is using you for sex. It's true that if he had feelings for you he wouldn't want to share you with anyone else. I would get out now before you get really hurt - and if you went along with his plan you could catch a nasty disease or even aids.
You deserve someone better who will treat you like a princess. The right guy will come along so save yourself for him dear.
Good luck :)
2006-12-18 09:00:25 · answer #7 · answered by nettyone2003 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say get rid! You're definitely like a toy for him. Its like he wants you to sleep with his friends so he can say to them "Look what I've got!" He's purely using you. OR he has a very poor understanding of what a relationship actually is! Either way, its all going to end in tears. What right does he have to tell you who you can sleep with anyway? Its up to you! My advice to you is get out of this sordid mess as soon as you can - especially if you are starting to get feelings for him. It will all end in heart break so get out before that happens.
2006-12-18 08:53:24 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl u know the right thing to do so wats stopping u.
I think u disappoint urself by lettin this guy come so close , giving him the chance to mess up your life.
First of all he doesnt love u cos he wants to share u and he doesnt respect u cos he has the guts to say it to ur face. Why are u making excuses for him, u deserve better so snap out of it.
And trust me babe wat u call feelings are just plain sentiments cos u have been intimate with him, and even if u think they r genuine sometimes our feelings have to be trampled upon in order to save our dignity.
2006-12-18 09:00:32 · answer #9 · answered by bibilicious 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lol..the fallacy of the casual sex era.....you're falling in love with him and can't fathom him sleeping with other women...yet in the beginning your mutual intimacy for the sake of sex was accepted....well....by sleeping with him as 'friends with benefits' you agreed to the freedom of just sex, and nothing else....if he wants a relationship with you....he apparently thinks you agree with the 'open relationship' theory that comes along with it. Meaning, you as well as him can go get your 'fix' with other people, but in the end your companion and love is with each other. Because you can separate 'sex' from 'real love' ...supposedly.
If you think you can handle it....then good for you...enjoy the fact that you both can enjoy the casual sex stuff and still have that 'genuine' love for each other.
If not....well maybe you should consider the old traditional way of relationships....friends before lovers. Or wait til marriage....course too late for that now...but don't expect him to follow your lead on a monogamous relationship...if he's telling you to sleep with his friends then it's obvious he's into open relationships...so don't expect him to CHANGE while the going is really good for him....can't change a man unless he WANTS to....remember that.
Good luck on your decision.
2006-12-18 08:56:39 · answer #10 · answered by Dennis 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋