We've told them they need to call first, but they never do. I think they know that if they do, we may say we'll be busy or make plans to not be there, so they just show up unannounced at ANY time during the weekend. We live fairly close to them. Since we see them so often, there isn't much to talk about, so the visits are somewhat awkward, yet my folks insist that my family must stop whatever we're doing and play host to them for as long as they decide to stay- which is anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours.
What should we do?
2006-12-18 00:27:24 · 9 answers · asked by Lane 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They're being rude. They're probably lonely and afraid they're not going to see you if they don't "pop" in.
Short of answering the door naked and saying "Sorry we were in the middle of something, can you please call first?"
I'd sit them down. Tell them that you DO want them to be part of your lives, but they need to be considerate. It is your house, and you are an adult now. Let them know, that by not calling ahead or being considerate as they were asked to do, it is causing you not to want to spend time with them and you're starting to resent living so close to them. You do want a good relationship with them, but they're not making it easy.
Plan your next meeting with them at that time. Actually, look at your calendar (you know they're coming next weekend, though I'd wait until after Christmas for this) and see what dates you want to plan to see them. Make it approx 2-3 weeks from the day you talk to them about it. That way they'll know a set date that you'll be available to visit, and they'll be less likely to intrude. Always set a date for future visits every time you get together, so when they leave, they know they're invited back and when.
If you want to take the mean route, you could always pop over at their house in the middle of the night and make them entertain you, but I'm not sure that would be very productive or condusive to a good future relationship. :)
2006-12-18 00:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to disagree with the posters that are saying to make other plans and just not be home or to hide. No one wants to feel like they have to hide out.
You have to set some boundaries with your parents. Start out by telling them that you love them, but that you need some space. Then decide together when to set up a regular day and time to get together (maybe Sunday brunch every other weekend, or Tuesday evenings).
If they show up uninvited, don't be afraid to greet them at the door. Give them a hug and then let them know that you're busy right now and they can not come in. They will eventually get the hint that they can not just come over unannounced.
Remember...they love you, otherwise they wouldn't be insisting on coming around so much. So, be firm but kind...and set some boundaries!
2006-12-18 00:43:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should only take one time....when you hear them driving up the drive way, leave the front door unlocked, and get practically completely naked on the livingroom couch with your spouse and make it look like you are in the middle of some passionate lovemaking. Maybe have a small throw blanket to cover the pertinent parts so no one has a heart attack. Have some loud music on to explain why you didn't hear the door knocking. Then, once they get the drift and start calling, be sure not to shut them out completely, plan get togethers, go to a park, or to drive around at night looking at xmas lights. But then that way you are doing something together other than you being host and hostess.
2006-12-18 00:48:39 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unplug the phone and not answer the door all weekend.
OR actually have plans all made and really be gone!
IF they don't listen, maybe your not being heard. Try telling them once more that you'd like your weekend parent free!!
IF they still over step the bounds, then lock up the house and play invisable.
2006-12-18 00:33:02 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer the door in your birthday suit and tell them you are very busy and it may take all weekend. Or just tell them they are driver you crazy by coming over without being invited. Or answer the door with the keys in your hand and get in the car and leave drive around the block or until they leave and go back home.
2006-12-18 00:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by J J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your merely going to could take a seat him down and tell him that as a female friend you do not opt for to be the undesirable guy telling her off continuously because she will be able to finally end up no longer liking you and causing worry on your relationship. it truly is more beneficial that he tells her off because he's her dad and also you're not any further her mom. chatting with him may be the in effortless words way till you merely do not self-discipline her and desire he steps up yet of direction if it truly is having an result on your little ones some thing desires to be stated.
2016-11-27 01:54:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to talk to them. if talking lovingly to them doesn't work, make it a point to be out all weekend so that when they come over, you're not there. when they ask why make it known that youre very busy and if they want to see you, they'll have to call ahead of time so that theyre not standing at the door ringing to an empty house. Good luck love
2006-12-18 00:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by lankytallgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time they come over unannouced, your parents need to be the adults they are and tell the other people it is not convenient for them to visit. If nothing else, you should not be made to stop what you are doing because they don't want to do what's right.
2006-12-18 00:31:55 · answer #8 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ,just be thankful that they are always there to visit you
2006-12-18 01:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by Fetheir O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋