What should I do if I have a HUGE infatuation with my professor?

Question

I know there are a million other questions like these, but I wanted my own responses.

I have developed a crush-turned-infatuation with my professor, and I don't know what to do! I know nothing can happen, and I know not to do anything about it, but this whole thing is on my mind all the time. Thankfully, I can still concentrate in class and on my schoolwork, but I find myself getting jealous of students who answer correctly in class, and I beat myself up if I don't get a high grade in the class. Do you think he will like me any less if I don't understand the subject too well or don't get A's on the tests?

I guess my problem is learning how to get over this crush. As I've mentioned, I know nothing can happen (even though I badly wish something can). I don't even know his relationship status or anything. I don't like anyone my age, and he just seems like the perfect match for me (at least on the surface). Please help! Thanks!

Answer 1

I am guessing you like this guy for the same reason many women fall in love with their bosses at work "for no apparent reason". That is, you mix up the feeling of someone having power and knowledge over you with the feeling of being led into something unpredictable, undiscovered, forbidden/naughty feeling IE the early infatuation involved with a new relationship where half the fun is not knowing what comes next and "kissing in dark corners".
In that case you have to realize these feelings have nothing to do with the guy and everything to do with the circumstances of his power. For example you might think something like "look at the power this guy has with knowledge and students: this MUST translate into someone very skilled in romance/sex/dirty talk/getting along with my friends/etc. This is called the Halo Effect in behavioral theory: it is the idea if someone is skilled at one thing they must be skilled at other unrelated things. And, in reality, often nothing can be further from the truth.

On the other hand, if you don't like anyone your age, I am guessing chances are you find them very predictable (and, looking back from my age of 26, most of them really seem that way). I've met women who are 19 but think more like 27. There are men like this and, if that kind of personal compatibility interests you, I would honestly suggest online dating such as mate1.com. Trust me though, very often most people in school are too busy trying to be popular to become unpredictable and adventurous in terms of personal interests and talents and you may want to try looking elsewhere for a mate...just remember to think in terms of maturity in adventurousness not age (because if you pick someone older you will likely have the same "power problem" you have with your teacher).

I usually don't do this but, also, you really should watch Love Hina (Japanese anime): in it a girl, Naru, mixes lines between admiration of a professor and love (and this frightens a guy who likes her to death...it is actually funny and, dare I admit, intended mostly for female audiences though I find it quite clever).

Best luck. :-)

Answer 2

Have you ever thought that maybe, the reason you don't like anyone your own age is because your infatuated with 1 person at the moment.

1 thing (in my opinion) Infatuations are never EVER good.
They are a distorted view of someone else. He is probably very caring and encouraging - maybe he's the only 1 in your life like this?
My only suggestion would be to socialize more - may take your mind of things - also, concentrate on other aspects of your life - like what you want to do or be, it could give you a new found buzz of energy about something else in another area.
-x-

Answer 3

whoa... that's bad. i say just finish the class and move on. but if you really have no doubts about this person that it can work out like soul mate kind of thing then go for it. but otherwise, it will be very unfortunate to go through with it.

you should get over it by completing the class. and just don't get that same prof again.

Answer 4

This is temporary, remember you are not the only one with a crush on him. Look around and you will see. Start concentrating on guys that are around your age and it will be over quick.

Answer 5

Chucha,

This feeling you have, he would be feeling the same thing, he is probably in a relationship that satisfies him. Enjoy the moment you will meet your man one day

Answer 6

Invite him to your place to help you with some 'home studying' and have hot sex in the tub.

Answer 7

Been there! its not going to work. leave it and have fun flirting with him.

Answer 8

take one or more very cold showers