My Sons Girlfriend will NOT clean their home and she doesn't work.?

Question

They have a two year old and one on the way, she is 19 and will not clean her home. My son works all day and he cut his hand and could not do the dishes and she refused. My grandson smells of smoke and they have piles of dirty clothes which she will not take to the laundry mat, she won't clean up and she babysits a friends kids and the friend doesn't care her home is filthy. I can't stand to go over there most of the time, My son feels his hands are tied he has argued with her many times, but will not leave because of his son and future child. She will not work outside the home. Is there anything I can do? Legally can her children be taken away, They live in subsidized housing, because she won't work.

When I say NOT clean , I mean filthy!
I raised two boys and worked full time, I never had a house with trashed piled up,roaches, you can't walk around because there is stuff everywhere, empty food containers etc, unhealthy enviroment.

Answer 1

I say Get off her Back... let um do what they want...... if they want their children to live like they do .... well then let um.... she'll grow up and relize what she has to do!!!

Answer 2

I only cna say this. If your son loves her tell him to find someone who she does not know and send them to the house dressed like Child Pertective Services(CPS). Some times all they need is a little scare. Tell the person to give her 24hours to clean up or the child will be taken away. If she cares anything for her child she will have it done before the 24 hours are up. Also try to find help for her. She might feel overwelmed with the mess and just not know where to start. your son sounds like a stand up guy and that is very hard to find now and days. The real CPS should only be called if there is nothing else that can be done. They will take the child and make it hard to get the child back. I know it happend to a friend of mine.

Answer 3

I had a friend who lived in a house with small children and her house was really dirty. (when I say really dirty I am being polite)...we went and cleaned for her when we could....but she just couldn't keep up with things....child protective services came and finally removed the children from the home... apparently if the garbage on the floor is enough that a crawling child could choke on it then it is a danger.....she never got them back and now they are in their teens.....as it turned out she needed medication as she was severely depressed...I am not using this as an excuse for his girlfriend but has anyone tried to figure out if she is emotionally and physically OK.....19 is very young to have a two year old and another on the way and be home all day.....I am not trying to make an excuse....but the dirty house may be a symptom of something else going on just as it was with my friend....I don't believe any person likes to live in those conditions....not even your sons girlfriend...she just may be completely overwhelmed and may need some help....other than cleaning and fighting

Answer 4

This in most states would be considered child endangerment or neglect. A Dirty house will manifest mice and rats and that would most likely present a risk to any child in the home. Tell the lazy girlfriend that if she won't clean the house then she may lose her children and boyfriend too and ask your son to come home until she gets her act together. I will say this your son can pick up things with one hand and put them in it's place so he does get part of the blame. I own a business and have duties in Ministry but when it comes to cleaning our house and taking care of our kids I share that with my wife. So not being able to do dishes is understandable but he can do other things.

Answer 5

Well, now a little unkempt I can see, but flat out filthy is just wrong. Child Protective Services can take the child (and the one she's expecting when it arrives) if the situation is bad enough. They can BOTH be charged with neglect and even child endangerment. Both, I say, because he has as much responsibility as her in keeping things clean for the child(rens) sake, or getting the kid(s) out of the situation. If he does nothing either way, then he's just as guilty as her. I know that being pregnant is a rough time, I have 3 kids of my own. But it's not an excuse to be lazy. If things are as bad as you say, then by all means, your son needs to do something if he cares anything for his kids. He needs to go to CPS and find out what he can do legally since they aren't married. Arguing with her isn't going to do any good (as he has found out). Please tell him to think of the safety and health of his child and the one coming into this. I wish him and you all the best of luck in this. God bless you. I hope that things work out for him and the children.

Answer 6

She's not you. You can't say "When *I* had two kids..." The fact of the matter is, it's between her and your son. If he's not man enough to stand up to her, then that's his problem. If you can't stand it, don't go over there. Pick up the kid and take him to the park, or your house, or whatever. It'd be a lot more helpful to the girl than standing around complaining. Your son shouldn't leave, it's his responsibility too. That's just craziness, to even suggest it.

In our house, I'm in charge of the kids all day til dh gets home. That's my job. If I was paying someone else to watch them, I'd want them to watch them, not be on the housework. When dh gets home, we share the chores 50/50. That's why we're 'pair'ents....KIWM? There's two of us. Even if his hand is cut, he could do laundry, he could pick up toys, he could play with the kid so she could sleep.

I can just imagine this young girl, exhausted from keeping up with a two year old, and probably not expecting to be pregnant again already, and some woman I don't even WANT at my house griping about how I can't do anything good enough. WOw....such incentive. and that's sarcasm.

and I can't believe you would even want the kids taken away. and I can't believe that you'd blame her for them living in subsidized housing. Maybe your son isn't quite providing the bacon. he sure seemed happy to provide her with the weiner.

Can you tell I'm sick of mother-in-laws?

Answer 7

Give her a break, geez. They're just starting out. Your son wasn't exactly responsible getting a 16 year old girl knocked up, now was he? I know she's not free of blame either, but hey, you're not even giving her the chance that she deserves.

And why should SHE have to do all the housework? Housework should be SHARED, not just her responsibility. She's pregnant, and home with a toddler ALL day. Her house isn't going to be spick and span. I think you're exaggerating, and REALLY overreacting.

Oh, and it's really not your place to do anything. So what if there's some dirty dishes in the sink, and some laundry needed to be done? That's to be expected when you have little ones and you're pregnant. Show me a woman who has a toddler and is pregnant that claims she has a perfectly clean house, and I'll show you someone who's totally full of ****!

Answer 8

I'm with Brandon, it sounds like this girl is in serious need of some mental health counseling. What you're describing sounds like depression to me, maybe even post partum (it can last this long) which is about to get A LOT worse after the next one is born. Maybe try a different angle (getting her some counseling) rather than focusing on the cleanliness thing. If that fails I think its your duty not only as a grandmother but as a decent human being to call CPS.

Answer 9

The children do not deserve to live in a dirty smoke filled home, the kids can be taken away for neglect, and your son could receive custody. She needs to be reported to the proper authorities.

Answer 10

Why in the international might he prefer to go out or maybe come across a job? he's getting each little thing he desires presented to him at homestead. You prepare dinner, clean, wash etc. He has no could do those issues himself if somebody else will do them for him. Why get a job while he resides at homestead hire unfastened and any expenses he does have would properly be paid for by welfare or his mothers and fathers? He has each perfect to be engaged, and while they get married they're going to probably come flow in with you so they might stay hire unfastened and not could carry a finger. in my opinion, i think of you're able to do what my mom did to me while i became a teenager (14-sixteen) and lay down the regulation. anybody in my mom's homestead elderly 15 and over chefs one dinner each week for the kin. each and anybody, in spite of their age, cleans their very own room, and makes their mattress. as quickly as you end college and get a job you're making a contribution $one hundred each week as board, whether you're attending college. Mum nevertheless does maximum human beings of the laundry as she would be able to bathe even though is interior the grimy outfits basket, as she in basic terms works 3 days each week and anybody else the two works or study finished time, yet once you're homestead and choose some thing washed, placed an entire load of anybody's outfits on. Mum does not carry together grimy outfits from rooms, in case you do not placed it out, it does not get washed.

Answer 11

Why don't you offer to babysit her child while she works, and tell her what you think of the place to her face, and perhaps she doesn't have money to wash all those clothes. Encourage her to get a job and go to college. If she doesn't listen, then I guess you and the boyfriend might have to decide if you still want anything to do with her.

Children's Services hear of things like that all the time and kids don't get taken away for that. Parents do get encouraged to change their ways though.

It's sad, but sometimes there is nothing we can do but be positive toward them and hope it rubs off.