My g/f appears to be comparing me to others constantly and overspending, what can I do?

Question

I have tried asking her things such as "Anything I could do to satisfy you more? What do you hope to accomplish by buying things for people, myself included, that we often say we do not need?". But fact is my g/f can not keep a savings (spends all job money on luxuries) and seems to be constantly flirting and, in the meantime, has no real hobbies (no music, cooking, reading, etc. ...just watching movies of non-mutual interest). She constantly mentions having kids but between savings, lack of will to stay in shape (and corresponding frequent sickness), and a short temper I find myself walking "out of the room" a lot and fear she does not have the energy or discipline to raise kids well. It admittedly has become a game of give-and-take: when she continually asks me to, say, see chick flicks for 5 evenings in a row, I say "no let's go out, exercise, or do something fun or healthy like we used to in our early dating days". But she's just not the same how do I get through to her?

You might wonder why I put this under mental health. My theory is, in some way, my girlfriend can not feel useful and is flirting and spending on gifts for even barely acquaintances to feel she has done something for someone when this should happen through hobbies.
The other thing I worry about is could this come down to her own anger about physical satisfaction? I am a half-marathoner and have always made a huge point of keeping my sexual stamina up for her satisfaction but maybe she's hoping for someone more handsome and/or cocky/unpredictable to keep her emotions sexual and satisfied?

Note I do NOT want answers to this question that state vague point like "communicate better" without saying how or why. You don't need to be a "doctor" but, please, at least give 500 words or so on the topic (if you have a URL/link, summarize it well). Not to be a nudge but I got secondary school-ish answers last time I tried asking this question. Thanks & best luck answering! :-)

Another detail...odd as it is she does NOT spend my money at all only her own (that's why I put this under mental health not marriage and divorce (kind of have to laugh about this)).
And she used to be unbelievably outgoing: giving me massages and my giving her them back, surprising me with poems, taking us to see mutual movies and relating them to what was great about our relationship, trying to cook things with me and teach me about it, and she didn't have any problem complementing the heck out of me on my 'loving skills' (or switching taking the dominant position)...we were a team back then.

One underlying question: why might that have changed (that I can control, or at least make an effort to un-teach her bad habits)?

Had to put this again after someone gave a comment that I spoiled her it isn't that simple: I DON'T SPOIL HER materially or emotionally.
Everything she buys she buys with her own money and I don't take her out to dinners or such either and refuse to put my money or time into activities of non-mutual interest as I always have.
I never did these things at any point earlier either: at the beginning, despite lots of long dates, many of the rewards were more like those of a fling than a relationship.

Answer 1

sounds like the beginning of a marriage made in HELL if you ask me lol...she is a spoiled rotten gf, and expects nothing less from you...they call them 'high maintenance '' nowadays..so you have a choice, get ready to either let her drive you nuts with her demands, which remember ain't her fault...it is the way daddy and mommy raised her...or,...lay down the law and take your chances and let some other poor guy have her...when kids are involved, she must might think that they are the 'hook' that is going to reel some poor unsuspecting guy in to be beholden to her for a long, long time...use your own good judgment on this one and get out while the gettin is good, or let her know just what to expect of YOU...before it is too late...and not to imply that YOU spoil her, but that is what SHE expects from you or anyone else she gets in touch with.

Answer 2

Wow- sorry about your situation.

Has she ever been screened for Bipolar? I am Bipolar, and in your description of her, she has a few of the symptoms. But I don't know the right way to ask her if she's been screened or not. It might really offend her. But that could be one answer, and if so, don't lose help, there is medication and therapy out there that really helps.

If that's NOT it, then I would evaluate your feelings for her. It sounds like you really love her, but can you see a future with her. If you question her ability to raise children, is that someone you want to have children with? I'm not suggesting break up, but I think you should look at all avenues. The divorce rate is way too high in this country.

As far as ways you can try to control the exercise and spending, I would tell her flat out that you think you should help her and give her the tools she needs to start saving for your "future together" (use those words, it might encourage her). As for the exercise, if she keeps turning down your ideas for it, I would just let it go. She's not going to exercise if she doesn't want to. And if you don't want to be with someone who is willing to take care of their health, then maybe think about that...

Good luck either way, hope some of this makes sense!

Answer 3

You are unpleasant. You are butt smelly unpleasant, and your existence will suck in view that no one desires a unpleasant lady. No dates, no one in need of to do something romantic with you. No intercourse existence or youngsters. You must simply quit making an attempt in view that folks are imply and so they desire a lovely lady. Now you'll be able to think what you desire however you're going to ought to come to phrases with your self. If your fats you have to repair that with recreation, and no longer meals. There are a few as soon as fats folks that appear 30 occasions bigger once they paintings difficult to get in form like nature supposed. As for being unpleasant, there may be any one for each person. Nothing is extra unattractive than a terrible individual.. Beauty has such a lot of faces its relatively difficult to finish you are fully unpleasant. Like the opposite folks stated, include something elements are beautiful approximately you. Smile extra, check out unique hair patterns, however something you do, until your no longer joyful with your self, it's going to exhibit. Believe in your self, that's lovely

Answer 4

Your gf is a head case and will drag you to insanity if you continue to stay to together... I give you props for trying ot make it work, but she has major problems of which you do not need to have become part of yours....

This relationship is doomed since she does not acknowledge the problem it is causing with you. Leave....

Answer 5

Just give her a slap (only joking ) maybe you don`t suit each other and should call it a day

Answer 6

hmmmm..in the beginning it was how she did things for you....further down in your story..you don't take her out..you hate long dinners..you don't put money down if you don't like the plan...it's all about you isn't it?

Answer 7

Start calling her your EX- girlfriend....the sooner the better!!

Answer 8

Let her go. You will be happier.

Answer 9

DUDE! you're spoiling her.....if you can't take it no more, DUMP HER.