I am 17 and am getting to know a guy who is 28 do you think the age gap is too big for us to have a relationship. He dosen't think age matters. He says as long as we got stuff in common our ages are just numbers. Do you agree??
2006-12-17 21:45:18 · 44 answers · asked by CHAZ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would say from personal experience that the age gap means alot when your that young! He's 28. He's gone to college or has a steady job. He's partied, done immature things, had fun with friends, and probably other stuff you'll get to enjoy being in your early 20's. Your just getting out of high school. You have a whole world in front of you to learn lessons from. It's ok to date him, but he might be looking for something more settled, and are you ready to get serious with a settler? I'd take it slowwwww with this guy.
2006-12-17 21:59:56 · answer #1 · answered by TheRealHitch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are only 17 and you should wait for 1 more year. Regarding age difference a ten year gap between guy and girl is actually better and good in all ways like, marriage, sex, setting up a family, bringing up children etc, etc. The reason being man should be a leader and the older he is the more wiser he would be, next the younger the girl the better mother she would be, there will be the perfect discipline between both of them because the elder man will be more considerate towards the younger girl and would also consider all her mistakes as childish in nature. Similarly when the guy scolds or says something harsh the girl like a good student accepts all these. Whereas when the age difference is less both of them stick on to there own policies without any give and take consideration and there life will not be as peaceful as that of the couple who have more difference in age. Even during sex the elder man would be more caring and soft towards the younger girl.
2006-12-17 22:27:55 · answer #2 · answered by ssmindia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how he treats you. He might always have the upper hand since he is so much older - on the other hand you seem really mature so maybe he won't.
From personal experience I wouldn't recommend it though. You have to remember that you are still a teenager and he is closing in on thirty. If you were to get romantically involved one of you would have to sacrifice a bit of their life-style and it probably won't be him. He's probably not going to want to hang out with you and your friends and you might not enjoy hanging out with his friends. Also he has bills to pay and things to do that are yet so far from the things that you are doing at this point of your life.
I agree with him still that age is a number - however I think it applies after both parties have reached the age of 20. So if you were 20 and he 31 the age gap is in a way smaller.
But if you really love him and if he's really good to you then you should give it a try. Just be careful. :)
2006-12-17 22:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes age certainly matters, not only because you are from two different generations but because it really dangerous for a 17 years old girl to hang out with some guy who is ten years older than of her, I’m not talking about sex because you can have casual sex and enjoy it, you can get hurt because of your feelings, because after a couple of years you’ll be a totally different person for sure ( remember that your in an evolutionary age) and in that time you’ll blame yourself for the choices which you had made, psychologist suggest that the best age difference for gf-bf relationships is maximum 2-3 years.
2006-12-17 22:40:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thinking about it, a gap of 11 years is quite big from 17 but, the main thing is that you get on and have stuff in common, dont worry what everyone else thinks.
Im 25 and was seeing a 38yr old for a while, it didnt work out but we were both mature enough to remain friends.
Good luck to you!
2006-12-17 21:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by Unhinged.... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are a few things to consider...
Why is he not looking for someone more his own age? He may be insecure and feel more in control with you. It COULD be that he likes you for your age - he just wants to be in a relationship that he can control. Or it could be that he wants you to rely on him. Again, that would be a control issue. However, I am not ruling out that he likes you for who you are and that age genuinely isn't a factor.
Why are you not looking for someone more your age? It's quite typical for girls to go for the mysterious older man. It's almost like a common fantasy. Is that all that this is though - a fantasy? I'm pretty sure this guy is one of your 1st relationships and if so, it's highly unlikely that you'll stay with him for long. Of course, I don't know you personally but statistically speaking, this will be a short relationship. He may even be wise to that statistic too so make sure that if you enter a relationship with him, you both expect the same things from the relationship!
If you do go for it, be prepared for perople's reactions. You may think you love him. You may actually love him. But the people who love you will want to look out for you. Most people say it's a bad idea to get involved in such a situation. I agree with them. However, if you're determined to go ahead with this, make sure you don't hurt those around you who love and care for you. You'll need them soon when the relationship will almost inevitably break up. If you do go ahead with it, make sure you have fun and keep a level head. Try to keep control of what is going on. If he becomes too controlling (and it may take other people to point this out to you), look at the situation from someone else's point of view and seee whether you like what's happening. You're young so don't get bogged down with "adult" issues. Just have fun and end it when it gets too much.
Personally, I don't think you should enter this situation but I don't know how strong your feelings are for him. If it's just a fantasy, maybe keep away. If not, be careful!
2006-12-17 21:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by 13rich02 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I agree with him, as long as you enjoy doing similar things together then it doesn't make a difference what the age gap is. You're only as old as you feel and as I'm finding, the older I get the younger I feel!
2006-12-17 21:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by flyingconfused 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad someone's asked this question 'cause I've been too chicken to. I'm around that age but a little bit older and i was getting to know someone who's now 29 and he said age matters a lot and 'cause of that we can't have a relationship 'cause he doesn't want to be known as a paedophile. personally, i was gutted but he was trying to protect me. still, i don't think age matters; there may be a lot of differences but so long as you have a connection. though if i was in your position, I'd be wary, 'cause he could have ulterior motives.
2006-12-17 22:01:38 · answer #8 · answered by Pyro 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It maters to some not all.
Does it matter to you?
You are kind of young (by modern western standards anyway) do you want to settle down?
Is there some other problem with this fella?, draw up a 'pros and cons list'.
I think you you should procrastinate. Just put off making a decission. In time you will be able to look back and decide how your actions have revealed your true needs.
2006-12-17 21:56:35 · answer #9 · answered by mince42 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes age is just a number, i personally think nothing it wrong with people going out when there is a 'big' age gap, as long as you are comfortable with it and happy in your relationship, it doesn't matter what other people think. go for it girl!!
2006-12-17 21:49:49 · answer #10 · answered by sparkle_fairy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋