It started saturday night we went to my brothers and sister in laws for a drink, all was going well until my sister in law spilt beer all over and went in the bathroom to get changed, no he was drunk and he walked in the bathroom but instead of coming out he closed the door behind him, she walked out straight away ( so she wasnt in the wrong) and he went to the toiltet, i walked in the bathroom and slapped him round the face, the him and my bro went to my parents to get more beer, 45 mins later they returend and we acted like nothing happend, when we got home i went to my parents house to get my dog and he went to our house to bed, my mum told me that he had told her that i had slapped him for no reason (i told her what had happend) so i went home woke him up and kicked off big time, i slapped him (which was wrong) and him grabbed me by the neck and threw me arround but he didnt hit me and were still not talking, i told him to get his bags packed (im not scared of him!)
2006-12-17 21:14:08 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
next day (sunday he was begging and i am still not speaking to him and i wont today becasue he has gone to work and i work from home. This is our first ever argument as bad as this and were getting married next june and i dont know what to do, do i let it go and move on or does it mean i cant trust him and he is going to be violent (he told my mother he has a breaking point, i asked him when we were fighting if that was it and could he do better) i dont know what the right answer is. I love him but i dont know if we can continue, technically he didnt do anything wrong but generelly he did because he should have walked out of the bathroom and he shouldnt involve my parents about our arguments, i need advice please help
2006-12-17 21:17:31 · update #1
This isnt just a fling i cant walk out of we have been together 2 years and nothing like this has ever happend and we usually are out drinking with friends and family, we are very close and he has never done anything wrong (apart from not cleaning up right, which is nothing)
2006-12-17 21:26:25 · update #2
Listen girl snap out of it. It's like he told your mother, he has his breaking point. He reached that place once already and will get there again. It will only get worse even if it is to get better it will get worse first, believe me i know what i am talking about.
This guy is bad news you need to let him go you can do better. It will be pain full most break ups are but it will be better in the long run.
And he involved other people in your issues, hell no come on he only did that to get pitty and to let your parents know that you were abusive towards him so next time they hear of him beating you they will automatically feel that you initiated it and are provoking him. Girl wake up he is bad news.
And then the thing with your sister in law in the bath room guys only pull that **** with girls that they think they can get away with it with. What if you or your brother were not there consider how that would have played out then.
I know it's hard but you won't be able to trust him and what kind of relationship will that be. You have a lot to think about weigh your pros and cons, but my advise get rid of him you can do much better that that crap!
2006-12-17 21:44:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK he only went to the bathroom, and you went in and slapped him, WHY? did you think he was trying to hit on the SIL? i think this relationship is doomed and not because he grabbed your neck...but because you started it, i seems that he didn't know she was in the bathroom coz he was drunk, but you assumed that he was up to no good, i cant understand why people are taking your side...you hit out first for no reason, it's you who has the problem hun, not him, he grabbed you because you were slamming him, he was defending himself, what do you expect......if you are getting physical with each other now, what will it be like next year after your married....only you can decide what to do....it's your choice....stop drinking...that may solve all your problems
2006-12-18 06:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should think long and hard but most of all pray and ask God wut you should do cause this time he probably didnt hit you but what bout next time when he be a little more intoxicated. then he really might hit you. If y'all are that close to getting married i think you should really think about what you are getting yourself into. He have already showed you he can maybe get drunk enough where he doesn't all the way know what he is doing, then he put his hands on you, then what wuz he doing in the bathroom? If you think that he is a good man and this relationship is worth saving you need to have a heart to heart talk. And let him know wut happened can never happen again.
2006-12-18 05:30:30 · answer #3 · answered by Shajazz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know what you should do. the problem is, that's not what you want otherwise you wouldn't be asking. you're in for some hurt, now, unless you get rid of him. the bathroom thing should be enough. you shouldn't have to ask this question. you've got to realize that this a-hole isn't going to be around in another 2 or three years, so why put up with this crap until then? don't postpone the inevitable. you deserve better.
2006-12-18 05:20:43 · answer #4 · answered by eelai000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is not a big deal, he wanted to go toilet he could of been bursting and beside why didn't she lock the bathroom door when she knows she has visitors. in the 2yrs he has never done this before has he, you provoked him by waking him up to tell him rubbish, don't you know how aggresive people are when you wake them out of there sleep, plus you slapped him, your lucky he is a good man or else he would of done more then wheel you around. just shut up an make up
2006-12-18 09:53:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
when i saw your question, should i get rid of him?i had shivers?it sounded like you had decided he wasnt good enough for you.
he told your parents that he didnt do anything wrong but you slapped him. u said he was drunk so it was possible he didnt notice any one in the bathroom when he stepped in.did he do anything obscene to your sister in law in the bath?was she offended? or did she understand the state he was in?
i think you over reacted by slapping him. why is it wrong for him to hit you but right for you to hit him?
u should apologise to him. first you make him feel like nothing by slappin him in the presence of the rest of your family.
you have been together two years but you havent handled your first major argument well.
you said your not scared of him, u shouldnt be but it sounds like you dont respecthim either.i might be wrong but in this scene,u really disrespected him.hurt his male ego.
you wanna keep your man, i suggest you appease him.
the truth is there are not many good men out there.
i have a wonderful man and i would never lift my hand to hit him or open my mouth to insult him.
if he did anything wrong, i would wait for the best time to tell him when i am sure he is in the mood to accept his mistake and apologise
an advice?keep off the bottle,will cause mor trouble in the future,trust me
2006-12-18 05:46:15 · answer #6 · answered by beaume 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
some comments (like from "bad girl") say he's wrong for hitting you, and he shouldnt have grabbed you........
he's wrong for what he did, i agree with that (the bathroom thing)
but if you slap someone TWICE what do you expect him to do... stand and wait for you to slap him again?. NO... why when girls hit lads its all ("good on you girl" and "well done" and stuff) if a lad hits a girl back, or even holds her to stop her.... he's always in the wrong...... grow up, if your gonna hit lads, expect to be hit back.... (i don't agree with this, non of you should be hitting out,,, its just a lack of vocab, that's why you get so mad.... dont know what to say so you hit, i presume you wasn't so Bright at school?
2006-12-18 05:37:24 · answer #7 · answered by meandthee 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I feel that the slapping was wrong with no proof of anything and you over-reacted,which in return he also reacted and put his hands on you. When two people act this way...its best to part.
My ex slapped me because she was drunk and high and because she felt like it. Needless to say the next day was the day she was homeless and i never saw her again.
2006-12-18 05:24:02 · answer #8 · answered by Michael B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
physical violence is never the answer it sounds like you were kind of out of control, you need to ask yourself why? He should not have grabbed you but you should not have slapped him, if that is a part he brings out in you, maybe you should consider leaving
2006-12-18 05:21:41 · answer #9 · answered by caralinar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
possibly if he was drunk he wasn't aware of what he was doing - hence him telling your mum that you slapped him for no reason.
its a shame that you responded to the situation with violence and means that you can't condemn him for grabbing you round the neck.
stay calm and explain to him what he did and how it made you and your sister in law feel - maybe he genuinely didn't realise.
2006-12-18 05:18:50 · answer #10 · answered by Empress 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋