Ok, my bf and I have been together for 2 yrs. living together for 1.5 yrs. Up until a month or so ago, we alway would tell each other where we were going when leaving the house, for example, Hey honey, I'm going to run to walmart. I'll be back in about an hour. Or when I'm driving somewhere, he may call me and say hey honey, where are you, and I'd say blah blah blah at Jewel etc. Pretty normal stuff. Well now all of a sudden he doesnt want me to call him at work (its ok to do so, on his cell as he works alone no problem) He doesnt want me to ask where he's going if he leaves or what time he'll be back. Doesnt want me even to ask what town he's working in today as he works various places. And his opinion is he wont ask me either (even though he still does ask sometimes) So should I just let this pass, or is this like so abnormal that I should be concerned? I know I'll get some crazy answers like "quit asking him questions" but isnt it courtesy to tell where your going?
2006-12-17 20:43:58 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One thing some people arent realizing is that HE asks ME all the time where I am and what time I'll be home. In fact I answer to him a lot more than he does me.
2006-12-17 20:58:06 · update #1
i've been married for 3yrs and me and my husband still tell each other where we're going and everything like that...yes it is a courtesy the other person...You as well as him have a right to know the whereabouts...some people may see that has..oh i have no freedom blah blah blah...but like you said it's a courtesy..i think you should talk to him about it ask him questions like why exactly don't you want me to call you and why don't you want me to know where u'll be...becuase in my eyes it just seems too secretive to me. I know that if my husband started doing that i'd wan to know why he's acting this way..especially when it's out of the norm..but also don't jump to any conclusions either...just talk to him..hope it works out :)
2006-12-17 20:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by ebabygurlmlove 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I could be wrong but it sounds like hes cheating to me, give him a random phrase like "I had a dream about you but can't tell you.." and look neither happy nor unhappy when you say it and don't tell him anything else!
... or something like "you know I saw you today" and look into his eyes and look neither happy nor unhappy when you say it and don't tell him anything else.
LAUGH on the phone when he is around - he would want to ask you who you talking too but tell him he said he wouldn't ask so never mind.
SMILE around the house a lot like you have a secret and when he ask what say nothing and change the topic.
Don't ask where he is going and do as he wishes.
If he is cheating you will know very soon.
You can just plain come out and ask him if you don't want to do the game dance above.
2006-12-17 20:54:07 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My personal opinion is that there is possibly a suspicion or trust issue since the pattern in the relationship has been the same for so long that now you start to wonder," hey, why did things change now?". Change becomes the worst in you if the two don't ask why the change even happend. Communication is the key to every partnership in life,without it, you'll just drive yourself crazy not knowing...ask him.
2006-12-17 20:53:11 · answer #3 · answered by Michael B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouls jst say that if u love him and trust him then let it go. i mean let him live the way he wants too, i would say u also try and avoid his calls dont tell him where are u what are u doing, whenever he calls say that u are busy, catch ur frnd which ur bf doesnt like talk to him in front of ur bf try n make him jealeous and after some days u will see he wud be back if he is not reacting then i would say to keep an eye on him
2006-12-17 21:14:03 · answer #4 · answered by riya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i wouldn't let it pass, I mean guys really don't like their female asking them any type of questions, it don't matter what it is about. i think that its funny that all of a sudden he is not answering your questions if he use to answer them. Maybe he just getting to a point where he is tired of you asking him stuff. Or maybe when you ask the questions are you nagging him? if so that can get on a guys nerves. So you probably could change how you ask the questions or don't ask so many back to back
2006-12-17 20:54:31 · answer #5 · answered by Shajazz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah im with u
he sounds like he is acting stangely
id be very suspishious it sounds like he is having an afair
try and catch him out then kick his ***
look in his mobile when hes not looking u no be sneeky and look up all his calls he has made out and resieved
smell his clothes when he gets home to see if u can smell perfume
and his breath ,,u will be able to tell if he has been kissing another woman
and ask him why he doesnt want u to ask him
try and figure it out soon u dont want to find out latter if he is having an affair that would be horible so get it over with
confrunt him if u find hard evidence
good luck hope its nothing for ur sake
2006-12-17 20:49:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes scared. Happens to all men at some point in a relationship. They stop seeing themselves as an individual and start thinking of themselves as a couple (women do this about 1.4 seconds after sex). You need to sit down and talk to him about your relationship and confirm that he is still able to do his own thing, you just worry about him and would like to know where he is.
The other option is he is cheating.
2006-12-17 20:51:24 · answer #7 · answered by David R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont need to know every little thing the other person does especially if you trust each other so I guess it's ok to stop asking. It shouldnt be a rule though, it should also come from you and you should be comfortable with it.
2006-12-17 20:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by arc* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope this isn't the case but normally when a guy changes in a drastic way like this he is normally hiding something. Try telling him you love him and you just like to know where he is in case of emergencies. If he starts looking guilty then start to worry.
Hope you sort this problem out.
luv ya Kimmy
2006-12-17 20:51:04 · answer #9 · answered by kimmy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, u have the same avtar as mine :), well yes its not pretty normal, but i still think he needs some space, just give him some time, some space, u shud have the confidence, not so much suspicious, dont let suspicion enter ur mind and try and spy on him, if he is lying give him so much space and hints that he is able to confron you, my ways, but irst just give him the required space and time and if nothing works, confron him, all the best
2006-12-17 21:15:10 · answer #10 · answered by hmmm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋