send a joke which me to laugh till my stomach burst?

Question

daily send me a joke,,, cause jokes only make me to laugh in my busy schedule...

Answer 1

read this and enjoy
have a nice day


It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held he package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!" SURPRISE!

Answer 2

I have three jokes for you, enjoy.

The first joke.

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?


The second joke.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"


The third joke.

At the parade, the Colonel noticed something unusual going on and asked the Major: “Major Barry, what the devil's wrong with Sergeant Jones’ platoon? They seem to be all twitching and jumping about.”
“Well sir,” says Major Barry after a moment of observation. “There seems to be a weasel chomping on his privates.”

Answer 3

Midget joke?

A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that he is being watched
by a midget. Although the little fellow is staring at him intently,
the guy doesn't get uncomfortable until the midget drags a small stepladder
up next to him, climbs it, and proceeds to admire his privates at close range.
"Wow," comments the midget, "Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!"

Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget and starts to move away.

"Listen, I know this is a rather strange request," says the little fellow,
"but I wonder if you would mind if I touched them?"

Again the man is rather startled, but seeing no real harm in it, he obliges
the request.
The midget reaches out, gets a tight grip on the man's balls, and says,
"Okay, hand me your wallet or I'll jump off the ladder!"

Answer 4

A professor was in his laboratory with his students giving an experiment about the instincts of living beings. He had a mouse with him, who was hungry. He showed him a female mouse and food, he quickly went to food. He took away mouse from food, then again showed both of the things and the mouse again went to food, the Professor concluded "For every living being Hunger desire is more appealing than sex desire.." one of his students, who was keenly observing all that thing, interrupted "Sir!, why don't you try other female mouse?"

Answer 5

LOL, stable a million. See in case you like this one. President Obama gets off a helicopter in front of the White abode jointly as wearing 2 piglets. A Marine shelter salutes and says, "great pigs sir". the President replies,"those are no longer pigs. they are actual Arkansas razorback hogs. I have been given one for Secretary of State Clinton and one for Speaker of the abode Pelosi." The Marine says, "fabulous commerce, sir."

Answer 6

You wanna hear a lame joke?

When is the best time to travel to the sun, and not get burned?

At Night.

Answer 7

Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga

Answer 8

I don't know if I can provide wisdom like this on a daily basis, but here's something I posted here a few hours ago:

What did Saddam Hussain and Little Miss Muffet have in common?

"Curds" in their "whey."

Brutal, eh?

Answer 9

here is one:
why is bat black?
cuz it doesnt put fair &lovely!
hahaaaaaaaa
hope you will remember this joke even when you see fair &lovely ad.

Answer 10

heard this one in Madonna's doci...

What's the best thing about sex with twenty eight year olds?


There's twenty of them.

Sick, I know, but funny all the same