Been with her for 4 years. Last month was the 4th anniversary. Last Friday she cheated on me with another man from her office. She's working while i'm getting my degree. We're of the same age. Then she went out with me on Sat like nothing happened. Sunday i confronted her cos' i got the gut feeling. She confessed and says she's confused. She says she wants to be single and not tied-down (but she cheated on me!). And she's afraid she cannot commit to the r/s (after 4 years!).
But i love her too much. I told her to choose she didn't want to. I asked her if she could break it off with the other guy but she kept mum. She said she wants some time alone.
What should i do? My life has revolved around her all these years. She is perfect in my eyes.
2006-12-17 20:07:51 · 19 answers · asked by looooooooooooooooooooooooserrrrr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
4 Years ? Dang. I know you love her, you can`t just put it all behind you. Now don`t go to the bar and get drunk with your buddys cus you`re down. Try to get over her. We know you love her. If you really love her than keep making it seem like you still love her. In her heart, she still loves you. Once she leaves you she won`t be over you. She know she did something wrong. Just chill, have a Coke and smile.
2006-12-17 20:16:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two words. Dump Her
There is no better solution. Let it be quick. BTW, she cheated on you on a Friday. It probably means she has done it before. Usually, people don't want to cheat on Friday because that's their bf/gf time and they believe it would get suspicious. So yes, she cheated on you and wanted you to know.
She's perfect in your eyes huh? Well, start getting unperfect. Your life revolve around her? Revolve around something else. This is someone who dated you for FOUR years and didn't give you the courtsey of breaking up.If she wanted to be single, then all she had to do was the "let's be friends speech." But no, she consiously CHOSE to cheat on you. That's unacceptable and you should never trust her again. You just think you love her, it's time to stop.
2006-12-17 20:17:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not perfect if she cheated on you...
4 years is a long time. Im guessing you have been faithful to her all this time, so she should of done the same. She is going to do it again... also she is telling you that she wants to be single? She didnt say anything when you asked her is she could break it off with the other guy!!! Why u asking her to do that anyway? She should have any other guy but you. i say call it off...
2006-12-17 20:48:47 · answer #3 · answered by BadGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly,
I think if she really loves you and wants to commit to this realtionship, she never would of cheated in the first place.
To me, the cheating was just another way of saying she wants out of the relationship and she does not know what she wants.
If I were you, I would let her go.
There is not such thing as a perfect person. But there are those you are perfect in your eyes just cause you love her so much.
I understand the history, but I think her cheating is only going to be a consistant reminder if you stay. Do you really want to put yourself through that.
2006-12-17 20:12:31 · answer #4 · answered by satckaren72 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your woman gave it up to another man that she works with; AND she told you that she needed some space.
I know it hurts, but you MUST leave her alone.
If you don't, she will continue to hurt you more than you can imagine.
She has been honest with you in telling you that she doesn't want, or respect the relationship.
Also, by cheating on you, she shows that she has no respect for you. By you asking her to come back to you, you are showing her that you are not worthy of her respect.
You should be telling her to get lost; but instead you are forgiving her'--and she doesn't even WANT to be forgiven!
She is doing you a favor by giving you the option to dump her cheating a*s!!!!!!!
You go and concentrate on your degree.
After you graduate, you will find a woman worthy of your time and love!--And you will be soooo happy that she was out of your life before she could ruin it further!
2006-12-17 20:20:03 · answer #5 · answered by negrito con sabor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her space and let her figure it out. If you pressure her, it is only going to upset her more and make her more confused. I know you don't want to let her go, but if she stays just because you tell her to, then she will resent you for that. Give her some time and tell you love her and you understand she needs some space. Do not, however, tell her you are going to sit around and wait. Tell her that if you are going to give her space, you will take that time to evaluate your feelings, too. Go out and get some coffee with a fellow student and have a good time while she figures things out. Now, don't go jumping into bed with every girl you meet, but put your feelers out and take the chance to decide if this is really the right woman for you. It sounds to me like she is immature and needs to grow up to be the kind of woman you deserve to love.
2006-12-17 20:12:08 · answer #6 · answered by bashnick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your experience, but it is normal. Give her some time to establish who between you and him is better for her. She has the right to seek the best for herself. If after some time she still feels undecided, then look for a more deserving and serious girl. The love she has for you may come out stronger if she discovers eventually that all that glitters about the other man is not gold afterall.
2006-12-17 20:26:23 · answer #7 · answered by peaceman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its true that while in love, every lover will feel that his or her lover is perfect. And it is quiet common that lover will try their level best to bring their lover back.
In your case you can bring her back. You see very clearly , what quality in the other guy has attracted her to him. Believe me, you lagged that property and she wants the same thing badly. Dont think that she has cheated. Simply she loved some one more. You can get her back by providing her that attribute which the other guy had. Love her more and more. She will return
2006-12-17 20:26:26 · answer #8 · answered by Mr Strange 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being honest if your life revolves around her and she ask for time alone she feel trapt and tied down she wants to like the rest of th girls just test the waters before yall get deeper in yalls relation ship yes it has been four years but maybe its best yall decide to gether on the time alone i hope everything is ends well
2006-12-17 20:14:56 · answer #9 · answered by =Ya Girl Star= 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to tell you this that it seems she is no more interested in you. It is clear that she is not regreting for what she have done. You have to be very strong and tell your self that she has now more harm than use. Convince your self and move on. There are a lot of girls out there.
Good Luck!
2006-12-17 20:54:08 · answer #10 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋