I've been f***ing up in my relationship a lot recently....and it's all because of little things that i don't think are a big deal. But my loverly lover is getting hurt by it. If I f*** up again, I'm not sure if he's gonna stay with me.
what can I do to make things better??
I want him to be able to trust me completely....
2006-12-17 18:02:27 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
what are these "little things"? You need to explain so that we may give proper advice.
2006-12-17 18:04:12 · answer #1 · answered by q_midori 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, i'm sorry to hear that. It can be so difficult sometimes.
But well, females tends to be much more emotional than male, hence they use their heart to think more than their brain when they are in an intense relationship.
Whilst male, they tend to be less emotional (unless they are naturally an emotional person) They tend to think, what's right and wrong, most of the time without thinking hw the comments or answers be hurting to a female.
Maybe it's also due to the lack of maturity? Age has a big influence of how a person perceives what's right and wrong. A mature mind looks at a bigger picture and doesn't matter with trivia matter. Also have a better communicatiion flow.
What i can say is, be patient and try to listen to your heart sometimes. Good luck!
2006-12-17 18:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You see men and women, although they evolved(or created if you believe) the general same way, they had specific charactaristics within them that brang a part of the division of labour to the species. It is mans' evolutionary(or creational) agenda to mate with as many women as possible. It is womens evolutionary agenda(or creational) to choose the best possible genes for their offspring and to take as great care of their offspring as possible. This ensures the species keeps going and once the newborn are there they have the greatest chance of survival in both genes and care. It is the two parts of the species acting together ultimately for the betterment of the species.
Men and women regard different things in a relationship as different importance. This reflexs their nature. What is important to men are not important to women and visa a versa. Men have their genes to protect and women their offspring. Also different people have different opinions about things.
Having said that, human beings, above and alone of all the creatures on the face of the earth have one thing that is a charactaristic of their intelligence. MORAL CHOICE. It is the one thing that seperates us and puts us far above everything-alone.
We are RESPONSIBLE. Both sexes must communicate more and compromise. Talk to him. Discuss things with him and actually work it out. There will be things that will bother both of you in turn. LISTEN to one and other. Either you both will talk and listen and will work it out-for this is the essence of a relationship. Or you both will not. In this case the things won't work. But both of you will have to think very seriously about what the relationship is worth. Compromise, talking, listening, doing. Or pride. Ask him what hassles him off and tell him the things that hassle you off. DO IT NOW. This is why we have invented language. To be able to understand things not naturally understood. Use it and make a moral choise to get the relationship on line. Only you two can do it.
2006-12-17 18:24:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls and boys have different brain waves and methods of communicating. Guys do not generally relate on an emotional level. Girls do. Girls like to talk out their feelings where guys do not want to admit they have feelings.
Recently it was pointed out to me the Bible says "Men love your woman the why Jesus loves the church. Women respect your husband."
I was always confused by that. Men are suppose to give all for their wife and the woman only has to respect their husband if he treats her right.
It was pointed out that as a man, I would not want to loved the way a woman thinks love is. In woman talk, respect means more than it does in man talk.
So my suggestion is to respect your lover if he is deserving. Let him know he is the man that makes you whole. When you are alone there is something missing, him. The two of you make one being. Soul mates. Then walk the path that shows him how much you respect him.
2006-12-17 18:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by ccrstitch2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the small things in the relationship make it very special. You wreck that and he REALLY gets hurt. You two need serious talking to do with each other only.
You can make things better by staying out of his way.
Let him come to you because then you'll know he can REALLY rely and trust on you.
2006-12-17 18:08:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he does not except you as you are. I think he needs to move on. You will try to change but probably fail the first time he messes up. So it will be back an forth, hot and cold. Make him love you the way you are, or hit the road. You must also love him the way he is. People are always trying to change people. Love people the way they are or leave them alone. They will just hate you if you do. Good Luck!
Merry Christmas!
2006-12-17 18:08:18 · answer #6 · answered by Tiger Crane Master 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we have such different views on things simply because you guys don't put yourselves in our shoes before you do things and i think that's one thing you need to do before you f*** up not only your relationship but your life just imagine if she was to todo half the stuff you did and how you would feel standing in her shoes or just simply ask what pisses her off and then she will see that you are trying to improve ( and i am sorry to address in man to woman relations if that's not the case cause i see where you address in your question reguarding boys and girls but in your explanation you state that it's a ''he'' and i suppose you are a male)
2006-12-17 18:16:32 · answer #7 · answered by REALITY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we have different opinions, and that's wad make us special doesnt it..u 2 probably should probably sit down and talk about it.. and u might want to control ur temper alittle.. tell him that u actually didnt mean to get aggitated over trivial matters.. being able to trust someone completely takes time..=)
2006-12-17 18:12:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean "little things" like; what's a little oral here and there, I mean, come on, I was drunk both times so it doesn't count...?
2006-12-17 18:06:12 · answer #9 · answered by randomstupidhandle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not just between boys and girls... it's between EVERY DIFFERENT PERSON IN THE FRICKIN' WORLD!!!
that's why some people work with each other well, and some do not.
2006-12-17 18:05:32 · answer #10 · answered by bigcatbarber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋