Ive known about this one girl for a few months and thought she was pretty cute for her age, now she is in 8th grade and i am in 10th. She goes to middle school im in highschool. I would never think of dating a girl that much younger than me but she is probably the cutest girl ive ever met and the most perfect personality i can imagine. shes an angel. She seems more mature than most kids her age. anyway, her brother is in 11th grade and i see him around at school a lot but we are not friends ive only met him once. Shes my sisters friend. I AM NOT A CREEP. She has a boyfriend, but "Always falls for the wrong guy". They went out before, broke up, now they are back together. I know for a fact that her brother doesnt like when his friends hit on her but i am a year younger than him so i dunno if that would make it different. I know ill see her many more times between now and summer, when shell be a freshman and itll be acceptable to date her. I just dont want to become.....(read on below)
2006-12-17 17:25:11 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I dont want to become too good of friends or even talk-often-friends because that would ruin the newly met people going out kind of thing and i would have less of a chance of making her like me, You know what i mean? Being friends first is not a good idea because a lot of girls find that uncomfortable and weird right? am i right so far? I just dont know what to do and i am really lost but i like her a lot somehow. The big guy upstairs (god if you will) is playing a cruel trick on me here. But i guess something good will come out of it either way. I am just unsure how to handle this because i am quite inexperienced with women (ive only had 6-7 measely relationships with girls and i am 16, the longest one lasted like 2-3 weeks... yeah.. (READ ON BELOW, SORRY)
2006-12-17 17:27:28 · update #1
inexperienced with women (ive only had 6-7 measely relationships with girls and i am 16, the longest one lasted like 2-3 weeks... yeah.. I just dont know if i should wait till summer so her parents/brother wont kill me, and ill have a better chance of going out with her for longer (not breaking up early like always ), I really like this girl and want to try to hvae a good relationship because i feel like i cant let her go, she feels that special.. dunno why... shes just really unique. Anyway, any advice from a parents/girls/guys perspective on this situation would be greatly appreciated because this is really effecting my mood in a big way and i feel like im going to lose it because i dont know what to do. Thank you so much.
2006-12-17 17:27:44 · update #2
Ah-how I DON'T miss those days of the raging teenage hormones. First of all, and I know you don't want to hear this, is that as important and intense as this feels to you now, you won't remember it, or will laugh about it, a few years from now.
That being said, you sound like a sweet kid, and I know that how you feel TODAY is the only thing that really matters to you, so here goes.
The whole "dating after you're friends is wierd" thing is just an excuse that we give guys that we are not attracted to. (Sorry ladies, giving out a big secret here but he needs it). It won't make any difference in your chances with her romantically if you start talking to her now, if that's what you decide to do. She will either like you and want to go out, or she won't. Period.
As far as the parents and brother go, and your concern about their reaction to you-I have a daughter. She's not yet a teenager, but the desire to protect your kids starts at birth, and here's how I would feel about it. I've also been the teenage daughter wanting to date a slightly older guy. Parents think that all boys, but ESPECIALLY older boys, just want to get into their daughter's pants and steal away her innocence. Another 8 months or so until she's in high school won't change that idea for them-she will still and always will be that much younger than you. Being a "friend" first may actually help your chances, because they won't see you as such a threat in that way right off the bat. They'll have a chance to get to know you before jumping to that conclusion. The brother, who doesn't like his friends hitting on her, also wants to protect her-but he also doesn't want the embarrassment of his peers talking about her in relationship category, because it reflects on him. If they see you as a fixture that isn't just there to date her, sleep with her, and move on to the next, you have a much better chance of being accepted by them.
If she truly always falls for the wrong guy, then she isn't happy anyway. I've been there too. Be a constant, non-invasive presence in her life, and if she's into you as a person, you will only look that much better as a prospect when those wrong guys do the wrong things.
The worst thing you can do right now is pressure her. Judging from your post, you feel REALLY strongly about this. But as mature as she may seem to you, if you bombard her with that intensity you will only freak her out. Talk to her. Maybe spend a little time with her in a group of people so she can get to know you better. If you are compatible, then it will happen naturally.
2006-12-17 17:50:58 · answer #1 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only 6 or 7 relationships by 16? Your group of friends sound a little too advanced, not you being slow, geez. I didn't have my first kiss till I was 16. But try to put this into perspective and not worry about this too much. She has a boyfriend so by the rules you can't do anything until they break up. You don't sound like you really know this girl, you're probably over-rating her. Sure she's the most beautiful girl in 3 grades and the most popular girl, but is it really worth all this? Mood changes? Calm down, it's not like you would end up with her for the rest of your life. So my advice is to chill, being too intense will scare her off.
2006-12-17 17:38:53 · answer #2 · answered by kadan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's completely appropriate for you to date as long as you two are mentally at each other's level. In addition, there isn't that much of an age difference between you guys. If you like each other, respect each other, and don't force each other to do anything you don't want to, just have fun. I know you are more concerned about what other people might say and you shouldn't care. They will say whatever they want, then a couple weeks later, they'll find something else to talk about. This is your personal life, so the only two who should be involved is you and the girl. Talk to the girl and see if she's interested. If it goes well, I wish the best for you both.
2006-12-17 17:33:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All i have figured with my relationship failures is that patience is a virtue. Although it seems that it is extremely hard for you to remain patient at such a time of strong feelings for a girl, but you MUST stay relaxed and patient and wait. You should definitely get a friendship 1st so you can have a solid base before you go out with someone (although this may take a LONG time) because, as i am gathering from your description, you would not want this to be at all like the other relationships you have had. So, my advice would be to reflect on the other relationships and figure out what you should change about your approach to a girl. Also, i assume you do not want to be like the other ex bfs she will have in her life, so you should most definitely and pace your self in slowly aquiring her trust and friendship.
2006-12-17 17:45:18 · answer #4 · answered by baller750 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most girls DO like it when we become friends with a guy first. It gives us a chance to get to know them and let down our guards a bit. Plus, it's a great time to flirt without the pressure of a date or anything. You can almost never go wrong with striking up a friendship with a girl you like. As far as this girl and her boyfriend, if they broke up once, they might break up again. If that happens, there's your chance to strike up a friendship. Don't worry about her brother. She's not going to listen to him when it comes to her relationships or boyfriends. Just for the record, most girls at that age pick the wrong guys. It's just part of growing up. If you see her, talk to her, it's not going to kill anyone and it's a chance to open up communication for a friendship.
2006-12-17 17:34:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you just say she "always falls for the wrong guy"? So you want to get with a chick who has poor judgment in men and keeps running back to bad relationships?
Give that a little thought.
2006-12-17 17:27:35 · answer #6 · answered by Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be really into this girl if you actually post such a very, very long question on Yahoo! Answers. So might as well see if she's into you, too. And two-years difference is not so big.
2006-12-17 17:30:26 · answer #7 · answered by I Eat Rice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ,that isnt THAT big of a age gap as far as Im concerned if she's more mature and the parents are ok with this. i'd be her friend first though it's cool the "look but dont tounch""Touch but don't taste" then finially when you get a taste it's almost eurphia ohh i miss that!!
2006-12-17 17:31:06 · answer #8 · answered by Camy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to remain a good friend to her and gain her and her family's trust and respect....more points for you!
I hope one day that my daughter (shes only 8 now) would find a respectable boy to date that is first and foremost her FRIEND.
2006-12-17 17:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont get permission from her brother, he is not her keeper.
Ask her out, and pursue her if u feel this strong.
Cupid has definely struck an arrow.
2006-12-17 17:28:18 · answer #10 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋