Losing sanity... move out?

Question

I'm 20 years old, I feel I'm in a point of my life when I'm going to have to do something, make a big change, or keep going downhill mentally from here.
I live with my mom(single) and brothers, both of which are probably moving out within less than a year. My mom is overbearing, and over all has been like a blackhole for any happiness. I've had enough of what I can take. I realize that she's alone and unhappy, but through all my life she has laid her problems on all of us, especially me. Rarely is she ever able to have a normal coversation with no problems. There's just too much crap to mention all of it (references about our father in relation to our behavior, mood swings etc)
I've discussed the issue about me moving out and she calls me selfish for wanting to do so, telling me I should wait till I'm married or finished college...
I'm afraid of what will happen to her if she's left alone. But I don't want to live loving yet despising her more every day.

She's just one of those people that will bring up problems constantly, there will always be something, it doesn't matter what it is. It can be as unsignificant as the ceiling fan being dirty she will make it a problem and make it soar out of proportion.

I'm thinking of joining the military also, I'm afraid what could happen to my dog as well.

Answer 1

If you move out, you’re not being selfish. It will be selfish of your mother to have you stay with her if you’re ready to move out. But do keep in mind that moving out bears a lot of responsibilities and bills; so be prepared for that. However, it seems to me that if you stay in you’re current situation you’ll end up even more despair and unhappy. I think you’ll be much happier, stress-free, and at peace if you didn’t have to deal with you’re mother’s issue. I understand that you love your mother and all, but you can’t fix her problems for her, and if you stay it’ll only make it worst on you. You’re grown and you should be able to live your own life.

Answer 2

Your mom might be going through some sort of depression. It could also be that she doesn't know how to be a good parent. Some people are born into an evil cycle that keeps going in circles generation after generation. You & your brothers have to let the cycle stop there. You must remember how your childhood was when it is time for you to have children of your own. Just take this time & learn from her mistakes. It will make you stronger in the end. As for your mom. I believe she is set in her ways. If she doesn't get help, she will lose the relationship with all of her kids in the end. I'll pray for you & your family.

Answer 3

Give your mom an ultimatum. Tell her you will stay and finish out college before you move it she stops doing some of the things that drive you crazy. Tell her you can't live that way anymore and if something isn't fixed you have no choice but to move out and save your sanity. You will then find out just how much she wants you to stay. If she desperately needs you, she will try to negotiate with you. If not, go ahead and move out and don't feel guilty. She had her chance to change.

Answer 4

You are thinking of moving out but you still thinking about her and your dog. Cmon, make a decision, you cant have everything going your way. Some sacrifices must be made.

You dont have to go very far away, be nearby so that you can still monitor the situation about your mum.

Good Luck

Answer 5

Your almost 21, move and live your own life, you will then see you will want your mommy back because life is freaking hard and expensive!

Answer 6

Read;
"Stop, You're Driving Mer Crazy" It's a book.

She fits!

Answer 7

YOu are old enough to make a life for yourself and so is your mother.