Is it morally wrong to 'keep a pan on the backburner'?

Question

This is my first question here, but it's a good one..

I have been dating a girl (henceforward 'chick A') for 2 years and aside from some insurmountable problems (don't ask, just believe), we like each other very much. But because of this problem we have decided to part and we agreed that this would happen whenever one of us met someone else. It was, and is, a mutual decision.
Now, i met chick B a few weeks ago (she's an artist) and i think i like her. We haven't had sex yet, or even kissed (I'm a Westerner living in Asia; sometimes you have to wait a bit longer here...but it's worth it), but we (both chick B and myself) know it will happen soon.
In the meantime, I am still enjoying all the delightful treasures of chick A (sex I mean), and I don't plan to stop until chick B and I have 'consumated' our relationship.
Both chick A and chick B are unaware of each other's existance (for now).

That's not so wrong...right?

Answer 1

It's completely OK. In fact, you should have a couple more plates spinning at the same time. It's called playing the odds. If you stick with one girl at a time, you will never meet the girl that you deserve. It's just not practical to date one person at a time.

You should be upfront about it too. Just tell them that you are dating around and playing the field. This will make them jealous, and they will be more apt to put out. Women are screwed up in the head, so they will have sex with you not because they like you, but because they want to keep you from having sex with other women.

Answer 2

As a practicing Catholic, I think I may have some useful advice. - First of all, by going to one or two Church services you don't become Catholic. The actual process of becoming Catholic typically takes one year, so don't worry, it's not like the family wants to cart you off and surprise you with baptism. - Secondly, you shouldn't be in a job that makes you uncomfortable sharing your religion, or belief-system, or set of convictions, or whatever you feel comfortable calling it. I would tell your boss that your beliefs are not the Church's and that as the Roman Catholic church holds as one of her precepts that you must hold all of her definitive teachings, you cannot in good continence, as a fellow human being, take advantage of these good people in such a way. - Thirdly, if you don't feel that last option is for you, you could attend Mass with the family once or however often they ask you to go. It's really not good form to hand your business card around after Mass unless you have a legitimate reason (i.e. "Hey John Doe, can I have your email so I can get back to you on those topics?"), so you could ask if they have an RCIA session you could attend. You want a meeting of some sort, if they offer it. The family should be ecstatic, and welcome you if their Church does have one. A RCIA session is a meeting in which people in various forms of conversion (i.e. not to baptize-me-now) gather to learn what the Church actually teaches. This would be beneficial in three ways: a) You can pass your card around freely here, making your boss happy. b) You will have a plethora of knowledge of the Catholic Church at your command. c) You can say with educated certainty that you have examined the Catholic faith (if you do a good job) and have found it wanting. I hope I haven't overwhelmed you and that you can find a option that doesn't leave you in a moral dilemma. Super useful hint: don't pretend to be something you aren't. It feels awkward and is a sure recipe for unhappiness.

Answer 3

Yes, it's wrong. Chick A is not a sex object, but a human being who has feelings. Would you like to know that someone was just keeping you around for sex and nothing more? If you're with Chick A, then you're with her and technically cheating on her, which apparently you two have agreed on. However, Chick B not knowing about Chick A is wrong. End it with Chick A if you know it's inevitable anyway and be fair to both of them.

Answer 4

You are setting yourself up for a disaster. what happens when Chick B finds out about Chick A? or vice versa. Not only will they both believe you have deceived them, but A, will be hurt that you did not confide in her. You have to take a chance in loosing a piece of a**. If not for the integrity of the other Women, but for your own conscious, because if you felt Morally right about this, you wouldn't be asking, for our opinions.
You have to come clean if not both Women than at least Chick A.
Good-Luck!!

Answer 5

I myself think it is very wrong. Me and my b/f have been together for almost 2 years now and I would be crushed if he just left me for someone else. What makes it even worse on you part is that neither of them know about eachother. I think you need to make a descision before )chick A) as you call it gets hurt even more than what she already is going to be when she finds out she is being replaced. If you are that reluctant to just up and leave her maybe you should try a bit harder to work out the problems you have with (chick A) before you move on and do something you might regret. If something has happened that you are not willing to work out with then just tell her before you make it even harder than what it is going to be.

Answer 6

If you want to be with chick a becase of the sex, then so be it, but i wouldnt lie to yourself or to her and say you like her alot because if you really respected and cared about this persons feelings you certainly wouldnt tell her "no not tonight chick b and i are busy", "lets get together tomorrow." So yes i think it is wrong especially if "A" doesnt know about "B"

Answer 7

that is completely wrong. if both you and chick a agree to have casual sex then that can be understandable. i dont agree but its not my decision. but the fact that you like someone else and trying to get with her makes it wrong. as long as you are single its ok. but you said you like chick b and want to get with her, you should stop with chick a. that can be considered cheating. if chick b finds out, she'll probably no longer want anything to do with you

Answer 8

Yes it's really wrong. You're gonna mess up your life cuz you have no idea what either "chick" could do to you. You told her you'd part after you've met someone else...now you're like cheating on her! If your conscience is bugging you (hence the end of your question), then stop it!!!

Answer 9

it is very good to have a extra gal for emergency booty calls. no need to tell her about the other as it will only hurt her. keep both going as long as possible. they both benefit too so do not feel guilty. keep it up.( no pun intended)
I used this method for years while dating and being engaged to a wonderful gal that would not put out until the marriage. I did not tell her about the alternative " friend" that i would visit after leaving her each nite. why worry her? It helped me to wait for her and did no harm and created many good memories for me in my old age.

Answer 10

Well if I was one of the "chick's" I would be pissed if I found out. But on the other hand, i'm not, & you have needs too, so go get 'em tiger. Just be careful that either one of them doesn't find out about the other. Good luck playa.