I have been in and out of court with my ex-husband for two years now regarding our three year son. I have never let go of my sole custody but I was more lienent with visitation just to stop living in court. I gave him everything he wanted but he doesn't hold the end of the bargain. He wanted Wed. nights and he never takes him. He wanted weekends and now he works and leaves our son with his new girlfriend and their new born. He wants every other year holidays and that seems to be the only time he is consistent. Every conversation is a screaming match and I often have to pick our son up early because of thier scheldules. With Christmas only being 7 days away I don't want to do anything rash but I am tempted to say No to Christmas visits and drag his butt back to court. The final straw was finding out he has been driving our son around with no license. Any suggestions so I stop getting walked on like a rug?
2006-12-17 14:22:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It sounds like you need to start playing hard ball with him, then may be he'll wake up and start acting the way he should. If he's doing something illegal like driving without a license what else could he be doing wrong? Your child is nothing to play with. Is he paying child support? You can't do it a lone, if he starts acting better then that good but right now may be superiors visitation is what you need. Your son needs his father but not if he doesn't care about his safety. I would be worried about him being with his girlfriend too, she may be sweet as an angel but with a new born, she's going to be paying more attention to the baby than your son. Sounds like you do need to go back to court, your ex needs to remember he's responsible for your son and he needs to think more about your son and his baby and stop thinking about what's good for himself, he doesn't count any more. Good luck Honey!
2006-12-17 15:14:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him back to court and let the judge know that he's not holding up his end of the custody arangement. It sounds like he's not responsible enough to act in his son's best interest and show up when he's supposed to and do the things a father is supposed to do, so unfortunately, you have to be the hard-*** and make him realize there are consequences to his actions. Screaming matches are BAD BAD and your son will only suffer because of the negativity, anger, and resentment the two of you have for each other.
I'm sure the court will be interested to know that your husband has been chaeuffering your son around without a valid drivers license, as well.
I would refuse the Christmas visit saying that until he proves he has a valid drivers license, you cannot leave your son in his care. If he causes a scene and gets angry, call the police and report his ***.
2006-12-17 14:35:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all driving your son around with no license is illegal & that needs to be stopped. Talk to your lawyer about how to do that. You need to keep a note book/journal of every conversation, email, visitation upheld or ended early or not at all. Then you will have a record for the court. Don't deny him, because then you will be in contempt of court & you can get in trouble. As far as Christmas, just tell him that his wife will have to drive him over there & he can visit him at your house or meet him at a neutral place where you can be present but let them have time together. Then you know that your son isn't being driven around illegally & he's safe. After you have a record of how he exercises his visitation of maybe say 3 months, then you have shown a pattern set by him & then take it to the court.
2006-12-17 14:31:58 · answer #3 · answered by cowgirlkolbie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ex-husband gets caught driving w/out a license, and his car gets towed, and he doesn't let them know how to get ahold of you, child services will be picking up your child. You need to let your ex know that he will not be able to drive your son until he has a license. If you have to, you can get that into your court order.
How does your son feel about your ex's new girlfriend? Sometimes, even on their weekends, they have to work. If he's not in danger or being neglected, then you might just have to let that one be. If she has a newborn, I am assuming that is his sibling, so encourage the visits between them even if Dad isn't there.
Give him two more chances for Wednesdays and let him know that if he doesn't take him, Wednesdays are gone. It's not fair to your son to be waiting for him and not have him show up.
Let him take your son on Christmas Eve, or the day before and have him back with you no later than 10pm Christmas Eve night.
Try emailing him, or keeping your conversations brief. Or have a third party do the relaying, but at one point or another you two are going to have to learn how to interact without fighting, for your son's sake.
www.sanemommy.com
2006-12-17 14:30:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first whatever visitations he don't take is in you favor in the eyes of the law. Speaking of law. I would not even let my mom go with someone without a driver's license let alone a child. It's against the law. Have him meet in a public place at Christmas with you and the child and don't let him take the child with him unless he can show you a valid license. Courts are not going to put children in a danger situation which is your ex has no license to drive anyone anywhere. Its always the best interest of the child in court.Cathy
2006-12-17 14:42:35 · answer #5 · answered by God sent Cathy 57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know much about parental rights, only what happened with my sis and her ex bf. I know that if your ex has visitation thats HIS visitation. NOT his girlfriend. He is NOT allowed to leave him alone with her. And I dont think its agood idea for you to allow that for the reason my nephew was abused on two occasions by the ex's new gf. Point is, you never know whats going to happen when you arent around. And if the court says that he has him every Wed night and he does NOT get him every wed night then he's in violation of his court order unless he has a pretty good reason for the judge. You need a good lawyer thats for sure. Hope this helps.
2006-12-17 14:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest supervised visitation. In this way, he must conform to the rules or risk never seeing his son again. Being a father myself, I cannot imagine a father not wanting to share his experiences with his own child. Maybe this will give him the jolt that he needs to focus on what is really important in his life.
2006-12-17 14:37:49 · answer #7 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when my ex and i were going through our divorce it was mandatory to attend parenting classes before the divorce could be finalized .. which i was at first a little aggravated about but after attending we were both glad we did it .. so my advice to you would be to once again go back to court and suggest this be set up for both of you .. it will help you both to learn how to work together for the benefit of raising a happy child
2006-12-18 02:58:53 · answer #8 · answered by love me only 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stand by what you court papers say as bad as that may seem and take him back to court for failure to comply.. he isnt doing what the courts asked him to do so he can be in trouble for that if you take away what is in writing he can charge you with it and then the judge will look at you as the bad guy here so wait til after xmas and take his butt to court good luck
2006-12-17 14:40:23 · answer #9 · answered by momoftwobestkids 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have good reason to believe your son is in danger, as it seems he might be, then terminate the visitation. It seems your ex is being quite a pain in the butt and doesn't deserve to see your child.
2006-12-17 14:28:41 · answer #10 · answered by caseyagain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋