I'm considered by many people to be attractive but I gained weight during a bad marriage that I left 6 mo's ago. I've been working out every day but I still have a little ways to go. I joined a dating site because of a friend's dare and now a guy that sounds really nice asked me out for dinner. I don't want to miss an opportunity but I don't want to be rejected because of my weight either. Im a very active and adventurous person and the weight I gained is a total misrepresentation of my true self. I posted current pics of myself but I still think this guy isn't seeing that I'm chubby. Part of me wants to ask him does he realize I'm overweight and part of me just wants to make an excuse and wait a few mo's. til I'm thinner. I'm normally very confident and secure but this is my first time at a dating site and its making me feel like I have something to hide and be ashamed about. Should I tell him I'm overweight or just show up and possibly face him being mean or rude to me?
2006-12-17 14:06:00 · 3 answers · asked by jamie kat 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you posted current pictures, I wouldn't worry about it or make an issue out of it. He likes what he sees, just because you are self-consicous doesn't mean you have to blurt out the obvious to this guy--cut yourself a break! A quality guy doesn't care.
2006-12-17 14:09:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have tried to represent yourself honestly. If he doesn't know by now that you may carry around a little extra meat on your bones, he hasn't been paying attention.
Let the chips fall where they will. Meet him when you feel safe doing so, and take the usual precautions to make sure you have an out if he turns out to be a creep.
If he likes you the way you are, and you like him the way he is, then fine. Be friends and grow a relationship. If he doesn't like you, just be sure that it's the real you he is responding to. That's the main thing.
In 1998, a woman sent me her picture, and I went ga-ga over it. We went for a long time talking about that picture that took my breath away. When we met, I barely recognized her. The picture had been taken a few years before.
She had put on some weight since the picture, and of course, she had gained a little age, too.
Even so, I enjoyed being with her. I dated her for a while, until the day she told me that it wouldn't work because of a few issues she had with certain things about me.
To this day, we hold each other in high regard and remain friends, despite the different paths our lives have taken (I'm now remarried, for one thing).
So, do meet the man if you want to, but safely, and enjoy the new relationship or learn from the experience (and I hope it's not in any way a bad experience).
Happy Holidays!
2006-12-17 22:44:44 · answer #2 · answered by brightpool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him- you want dude to like you 4 what u r right now if you wait till ur tinner if you gain weight again he might not see you the same way
2006-12-17 22:10:51 · answer #3 · answered by DeathBe4Dishonor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋