single dad wants overnights at 4 months?

Question

ive be trying to make things work with my ex reguarding visitation with our 4 month ald daughter. but she never really wants to make things easy, ive been really good to her and my daughter despite her nasty mood. I finally got tired of her crap and wrote up visitation plans to submit to the freind of the court, I want my visitation times and dates set up so they don't have to be on her terms all the time. I own my home my daughter has her own room already for her. I live in michigan and am the legal father, and think overnights every other weekend is totally fair along with 6 weeks in the summer. and 1 week for winter, spring and fall breaks. we only live 30 miles apart, what do you think my chances are?. also ive taken her on my own nemurous times for 4 hrs each, and have went to visit my daughter over 30 times. im just sick of sitting on her parents couch trying to get to know my kid after i drove both ways to get there at her time scedule

Answer 1

Your chances are good! (i live in michgan too, and have a child with an ex, so ive been through it) As long as your a fit parent, the judge will have no reason to deny you. You can file for joint legal/joint physical and probably get it. If she has nothing bad to use against you (any criminal history, drug usage, etc), there is nothing she can really do to stop it. And once your awarded your rights, she has to let you take your daughter, if she doesnt, go get a cop and take him over there with you. And another tip, if you pay child support, you automatically have rights and will not get denied. So if your not paying, and you can afford it, go start the child support yourself, you dont have to wait for her to do it.
You are the babys father,and you do have rights (judges are starting to be alot more fair to fathers, too) You should also remind your ex that its not the babys fault you split up, and she should not have to suffer from it. She needs and deserves to have her daddy in her life. Good luck

Answer 2

I am a mom of 4 boys. Three of which are my ex husbands. It is very important for you to be in her life. Your ex has no idea how lucky your daughter is. I could only wish my ex were as interested.You need to set up a visitation schedule to protect yourself & also see her whenever you can outside of the "schedule". Now on mom's defense-my youngest is 3 months old & I don't know if I could handle any kind of over night just yet. Maybe in a few months. I think as long as mom saw the baby during the 6 week visitation, it might work. This whole parent thing is new & learning to seperate will be tough. I do know how Michigan Friend of the Court works, if you have an attorney, have them look over your plan & get their advice for your protection. Things you will want to consider-1/2 for school clothes, 1/2 for uncovered medical expenses, 1/2 for school supplies & tuition, 1/2 for visitation transportation, and holidays(alternate & father's day) I know it seems crazy, but she will be school age before you know it & you want to cover all aspects. (just an FYI-not many schools have a week off in the fall) You may need to alternate spring breaks too. your ex should be so thrilled that you want to be involved! Mine moved to Wyoming & only calls every other week & those boys are 17, 14, & 12! Good luck to you & keep just as invloved with your daughter!

Answer 3

First off, I think it is great that a father wants an active role in his child's life however, four months is a very young age to be requesting overnight visitations. You have to really look at what the best situation is for your daughter. I wouldn't advise using a "friend" in the court system, it may come back to hurt you in the long run. I also agree with you that it is not fair to work around your ex's schedule. I did that with my ex-husband for two years and I have sole custody. It gets tiring and the child usually suffers for it. If you want to see your daughter for visits not revolving on a couch then I would suggest trying to communicate without anger and hostility towards one another. Set out what you think is fair and ask her what she would expect if the roles were reversed. It is never fun to be in court and have a "judge" decide what is best for your child. They usually do not do what is best for the child for they do not know you personally or the situation in it's entirety. You have to remember they are just reviewing one out of hundreds of files and you do indirectly just become a case to them. Be nice but don't let your ex call all the shots. You two had a child together and as long as there is nothing dangerous involved, both parents have an obligation to the child to put bitterness aside and do what is truly best for the child involved.

Answer 4

I think it's wonderful that you are wanting to be involved in your daughter's life. You sound like a great dad and she is lucky to have you. I also agree that your ex needs to compromise - you should not always have to work around her schedule.

I did want to mention a couple of things - I don't know whether they apply in your case, but just in case. I also don't know if this is your first child, but if you've never lived full-time with a four month old, you might not realize what some of the issues are.

If your ex is breastfeeding, it would be extremely difficult to do regular overnight visits yet. Many breastfed babies do not willingly take bottles, or will not fall asleep without being nursed. Yes, moms can pump, but it is often difficult to pump enough milk if you are away for more than a few hours at a time because pumps just don't work as well as babies do.

Also, do you know your daughter's usual routine at night? How does she fall asleep? Does she need to be rocked? How many times does she typically wake up? For a four month old, sleep is often a tricky thing, and it may be more difficult for her to sleep in an unfamiliar situation. Are you willing to deal with the fact that you might get very little sleep? Are you willing to rock her, for hours if necessary? Could you cope if she cried for several hours straight? None of this would be unusual for a 4 month old, especially if her routine has been disrupted.

Another question is whether you are really working around your ex's schedule, or is it your daughter's schedule? Four month olds spend an awful lot of their time eating and sleeping, and if they don't get to do either of those things when they need to, they'll make you pay. ;-) Is it possible that your ex is just trying to schedule your visits for when your daughter has recently eaten and napped, so that she'll be awake and ready to interact with you? What if you drove to see her and she spent the whole time sleeping? Or crying because she was overtired?

Also, for a young child, 6 weeks away from her mother would be terrifying. In fact, for a child under a year old, she would be likely to not even recognize someone she hadn't seen for 6 weeks. At this age that would be horribly traumatic for both your daughter and her mother. (Speaking as a mom here, my daughter is 19 months old and I cannot even imagine not seeing her for 6 weeks. If a court ordered that, I would be so distraught I might seriously consider fleeing the country with her.)

Keep in mind that all of this will change over the next few months and years. In no time your daughter will be eating solids and sleeping well and overnight visits won't be a big deal. As she gets older longer visits would be totally appropriate. If you are willing to be a bit patient and build a good relationship with her in short increments at first, in the long run both she and your relationship with her will benefit.

I hope that you will talk to a good lawyer and arrange a good long-term plan for fair, regularly scheduled visits with your daughter. But I also hope that for the short term, while she is very young, you keep her best interests in mind when deciding what to request.

Answer 5

I think your chances may be good. My nephew has a now 10 month old daughter. He and the baby's mom were never married, but he has regular visitation with her and has since she was a couple months old. He gets her 1 week a month, 2 long weekends per month and every Wed. What you are doing, writing up a visitation plan to present to Friend of the Court, is exactly what my nephew did as per recommendation of his lawyer (he had to fight paternity). Baby's mom is a little flighty and didn't show up for the hearing so he got what he asked for. We also live in Michigan.

Answer 6

I think while your daughter is so young that overnight or a few hours here and there would be better. You should be able to take her to your home. My oldest daughter started going to her dads 1 day a fortnight for a the day/half day when she was 6 months. He used to come see her and spend an hour or so with her at my home b4 that. (It didnt last long) Her and her sister (they are 8 and 5)now go interstate to visit their dad and step mum plus the grandparents. This summer they are going for 16 days, it will be a nice break for me but not too long that they miss me, their step dad or little sister. Congrats on making the effort. most men (and women) dont.

Answer 7

i could refer to a physically powerful criminal expert and take her to court docket. You do have a physically powerful activity, own a spectacular abode and furnish for the youngster you certainly deserve the time you're asking for. There are to many lifeless beat dads so for a dad who desires to work out & help his newborn i know you. on the grounds that your daughter is so youthful you will possibly no longer recover from nights previously each and every thing even nonetheless it may be extra effective than 7-10 hrs a wk. Oh specific confirm and shop all records of what you pay her for something concering your daughter. That way she won't say you at the instant are not helping her. good luck!

Answer 8

I learned a long time ago that in all matters legal the side with the best lawyers almost always win.
Fair? Not on your life, but that's the way it is most times.

Find the BEST family lawyer in your area. Do not ask friends not in the legal profession for recommendations, do not play "yellow page lottery"....you need the best, not someones nephew. Ask for the lawyer that WINS the most cases for their clients. He or she will be expensive and probably a jerk (goes with the territory).

Go for your rights as a father and do not give up until you have them. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 9

You have every right to spend quality time with your daughter..Who does she think she is trying to withhold your daughter...? You should work out some sort of a plan between you and your baby's momma... If you do visitation, you know she is going to want child support..But it sounds like to me that you are perfectly wonderful dad who deserves a chance...I think you will not have a problem getting your daughter for visitation... You should try every other weekends and pick 1/2 of the holidays...for instance you get easters, every other christmas, holloweens, and so forth..good luck..!!You sound like a wonderful man...your baby momma is missing out on something great...

Answer 10

I agree you should have regular visitation with your daughter, and you did the right thing to petition the court to order the visitation. Please don't give up! The schedule you propose sounds reasonable. I think you have a very good chance of getting what you've asked the court for. Try not to discuss it outside of court though. It's better in the long run for both of you. Good luck!