when my 3 year old comes home from the weekend at her dads, she refuses to eat. why is that, and what do i do

Answer 1

maybe hes feeding her junk food, but if she won't eat you cannot force her too. let her snack on something. at least you know shes getting something in her stomach, and i would ask her dad whats she eating there and tell him what is going on.

Answer 2

Children even at three years old are very receptive. Your daughter is most likely upset and misses her dad. Also, when children go for weekend visits to the other parents home they go through a transition having to get used to the rules and home. If you get along well with your ex-husband, you might let him know how she is acting when she comes home and ask if he notices any different behavior at his house.
I went through a divorce when my sons were 4 and 2. It was very hard on them. They would act out when they came home from their dad's house for visits. However, they weren't acting this way at his house. I took them for counseling. The counselor told me that often times children will refuse to eat, act out, or some other type of behavior usually with the parent they live with all the time because they are most secure with that parent. They are children and at that age usually aren't able to comprehend that they are sad. Sometimes also they have a fear that you will "abandon" them like the other parent did (even though that isn't the case, they are too young to understand.) She suggested having a bridge for exchanges where the child is comfortable. If your daughter is comfortable maybe have your ex exchange your daughter with you at Grandma's, a friend's or McDonalds and spend 30-60 minutes and then go to your house. The counselor said this will often help with anxiety.
I personally know this is hard on you both. I hope it will get better for you. When you do see your daughter after she is gone, give her lots of comfort and let her know how much you love her. Try not to tell her you are sad when she is gone as this might cause her sadness. Try to hang in there. She will eat when she is hungry. Whatever you do though, don't accuse your ex of not taking proper care of her. If the lines of communication are open, you don't want to ruin it.

Answer 3

It may just be that she isn't hungry or it could be a bit of depression from being separated from her father. It is a tough thing for little ones to have to go back and forth. They don't understand and it is also probably a bit frightening to them. They must wonder if they will see the other parent. Like the other reply said, give some things to snack on and then hopefully tomorrow she will be back on her regular eating schedule. I have read a lot of books and it always says kids will eat only when they are hungry. HTH PAtricia

Answer 4

I'm not sure how long this lasts when she gets back, but I can tell you from experience that young children start getting anxious when they are getting ready to go back to the other parent's house, and their stomach can actually get a little upset. I would be cautious in how you approach her father, because it may not have anything to do with what he is feeding her, rather than the circumstances she is dealing with at this young age.

Answer 5

I agree with the first responder. You need to stress to him that you have a "diet" regimen for her and maybe outline it for him. He needs to understand that junk food may be easy for him, it is not the best thing for her in the long run.

Answer 6

Ask him how her visits go with him... Then ask about how/what she ate while she was with him. If it doesn't sound right... maybe offer some ideas to him. Or send some things with her.