I was sure I was ready then this happenned. I stopped it because I wasn't sure if being scared was normal or if that meant that I really wasn't ready. Has anyone else had this kind of experience? Is it just the emotions of the moment and the unknown (we're both still virgins) like I thought or is it something more?
2006-12-17 13:15:17 · 25 answers · asked by Savannah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm no prude, but at this point why not just wait until after you're married, and then you can both say that waited? You'll be all kinds of pure and stuff.
2006-12-17 13:17:10 · answer #1 · answered by Old Fat Bald Guy 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It is absolutely normal to be aprehensive the first time you have sex - whether you are emotionally ready or not. Keep in mind that this is the first time you're about to engage in the most intimate, physical act a human can experience.
However, there's a difference between being aprehensive the first time you have sex and not being physically turned on. If you were not feeling hot, flustered and excited before the actual act, then it was defintely not the right time.
Remember that your virginity can only be given away one time. Make sure you are engaging for the right reasons. Obviously, if this is your fiance, you are definately in the right relationship. But don't feel pressured to "perform", because sex is a wonderful thing if it's a mutual sharing.
I wish you the best with this.
2006-12-17 13:45:34 · answer #2 · answered by lilrubberducky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you consider virginity untill marrige something you definitely want to do. Having sex is generally awkward the first few times you do it but something that is fun, plesurable and entertaining the more times you do. It only really gets scary if you do it unpertected and you dont know if your partner has STDs or not, a condom slips or breaks and there is the possibity of pregnancy, if that happens you can get the morning after pill which is now over the counter and you have up to 72hrs to use it before your choice is just abortion. But generally sex isnt something scary.
2006-12-17 13:20:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't put pressure on yourselves to have sex. You are obviously not ready for it. Maybe you both need to learn more about how to please one another. Remember, its more loving to show intimacy with one another than the sex act. That is what we want most as humans, anyway.
Don't be afraid to read as much as you can about the subject of intimacy and sex, or to get parental, or other trustworthy advice. Consider yourself fortunate that you didn't follow through and let sex just happen, because it is a huge step in any relationship. Be thankful that you both have saved your virginity until a better, more fortuitous time.
2006-12-17 13:25:29 · answer #4 · answered by Jeff W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a virgin and let me just say that it is completly normal and natural to be afraid before you have sex for the first time. If you feel too afraid, don't have sex but if it's a curious kind of afraid, then go for it because you two are engaged and love eachother. New things are going to be scary. It will be okay though. Both of you will work through this together. I'm sure of it. Maybe, depending on your religous beliefs you two just feel guilty and need to wait until marriage but either way, I think that this fear is just natural.
Just try to remember that..
1. He loves you.
2. If it hurts and you tell him, he will stop.
3. Sex is blown out of proportion. (afterwards you will feel better about it)
2006-12-17 13:20:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you're wanting to wait until you and he are actually married, maybe it was your gut telling you that you need to wait until your wedding night. If you're not wanting to wait, maybe it means that you're not as ready as you thought you were. Since you're a virgin, are you afraid of the pain of losing your virginity or nervous over that? That scared me for a long time and kept me from having sex. Don't force it, though. When you're truly ready, you won't be scared anymore.
2006-12-17 13:18:21 · answer #6 · answered by First Lady 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've been studying the human mind for 5 years now. From what your saying, I'm thinking its your conscience. Or maybe fear. As many others have already said, your fears will most likely dissolve after you are married. If they aren't, then you might have a small problem. It may be fear of love, or commitment. Or it might just be simple anxiety. I'm sure you will be fine however.
2006-12-17 13:21:48 · answer #7 · answered by TehOverlord 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to be scared this is a very important moment of your life good you are taking very serious. Take your time when you are ready you will know. Don't let anyone rush you.it's good to know you all are still out there.
2006-12-17 13:19:32 · answer #8 · answered by tellthetruth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it!!! You can't take it back you know! Think about being the first with a loved one in the marriage bed! No one to compare each other to, no previous experience to cause you to berate each other! Share the excitement and passion with your marriage partner!
2006-12-17 13:19:37 · answer #9 · answered by Faerie loue 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the reason that you stopped when you did is because you feel that you are not ready for sex. breaking the hymen when you have intercourse can be very painful. wait until your married and then you will feel more comfortable about sex
2006-12-17 13:31:00 · answer #10 · answered by ken s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until your wedding night. First time jitters happen to everybody, after you're married you'll be able to relax, just don't push it, let it happen and remember, he's as scared as you are.
2006-12-17 13:25:45 · answer #11 · answered by letsgetagripalready 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋