Me and my fella are both 20 years old and engaged, we've been together for 3 and a half years. He's my dream come true and we want to start saving money so we can have a great wedding in a few years to come. We are looking for a house at the moment. He's really confusing me. I talk to him and ask him when he would really like to get married, sometimes he says in 2 years time and sometimes he says in 10 years time. There are even times when he strokes my belly and smiles at me... hinting that he wants a baby! But sometimes he says he doesn't want one untill we're 30! Whatever he chooses is fine with me but will i ever know what he REALLY wants? he never makes his mind up. And they say women are difficult! lol.
2006-12-17 13:03:28 · 36 answers · asked by Lady_Crimsyn1986 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
please don't tell me we're too young. We are 100% sure that all we want is commitment. We're proud of being engaged and we want to spend long and happy lives together
2006-12-17 13:26:30 · update #1
me and my fiance have been together for 5yrs and engaged for 4 ur not too young because i am in the same boat. things will just pan out 1st thing i learnt was not to plan for anything then if something happened it was a bonus. we are in the process of looking for a house. Just have a long engagement move in together then everything else will work its self out. Dont worry about anything if you need to talk just drop me an email.
2006-12-18 10:34:58 · answer #1 · answered by tanya_is_an_angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be so proud, I'm 20 & my fella is 21 and we too are engaged.
How many couples out there our age are engaged?
Other 20 year old are still clubbing and picking up worthless dates just for a meaningless time where you & I have already settled down looking to a very bright future with the men we love.
Don't read his actions too much, he could be stroking your belly because it could be his favourite part of your body.
My man always gently scratched and rubbed my belly, I was thinking, "Uh, no kids right now". It was only months after that it clicked, he rubbed my belly when he wants something... I think you know what I mean!
I don't think he's looking to far into the future, he sounds like the guy to "take it as it comes".
We havn't started thinking of a wedding yet as we want to save money for the wedding, for the house and the honeymoon.
Don't listen to what people tell you on here, we have no idea what your guys are like, only you know that so for someone to assume that you can't tie down a 21 year old male needs some thinking to do as not all yound men are players. Infact, I think we both have a gentleman, it's rare to find a young man committ at his age so I think we are both really lucky.
Focus on the present, your engaged the wedding WILL come, focus on spending quality time with your man, making him feel special and loved and have fun before you're chasing little mini-me's around!
Btw, don't listen to Alpha Troll, I think he's had the privilige of being a victim of a dominant female. He should know his OWN place and back down before he gets pussywhipped again
2006-12-17 13:12:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
is it possible that you are to set on a date rather than the committed relationship you are already in. I am sure in the past 3 1/2 years you have talked about this and as usual the answer is in the wind, so why get all stressed out over a date, you are in fact married just not church ed, and to some people that is not necessary, to others they will not live together until the marriage has been blessed. please pick a date in your mind and tell him I will be married on my 35 birthday or what ever, rather than the game of tag you are playing now
2006-12-17 13:34:38 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sit down and have a talk with him about it. Tell him that you're confused, and you'd like for him to give you as straight an answer to things as he can. Tell him that if he isn't SURE how he feels about something, that that's OK, but just to SAY, "I'm not quite sure yet if I want to have children soon or in 10 years." You should have an idea what the dreams are of the person you're planning on marrying.
2006-12-17 13:09:04 · answer #4 · answered by Jess H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that he is too young to make that commitment. Perhaps you are as well. If you think that he is hinting that he wants a baby when he strokes your belly and smiles, my guess is that you are wrong. This is not a matter for mind reading!
You will be truly engaged if and when you set an exact date for the wedding. Right now, you are just thinking and talking about getting engaged.
2006-12-17 13:14:12 · answer #5 · answered by Jim knows 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
both of you are in denial
you are too young
the divorce rate for 20 year old is about 85%!!! 85 %!!!!
he has not settled into a life long career and neither have you
the stress of one of you wanting the other for a life long partner shows both of your immaturity as neither of you have your long life mapped out
and that
ALWAYS spells trouble
even if you do get married and get pregnant right away
the added stress of a young family will usually break the 2 of you apart even with children
sooner or later he wake up and see other attractive women
and if you keep nagging / harranging him he eventually walk
no matter what the consequences
I can't tell you how many guys I've met who married young and regret the disarray they left behind ( usually children ) when they made that hard decision to leave
and they leave because they are not happy
they were trapped by the women
and they failed to realize their full potential in life
good luck
2006-12-17 17:14:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't listen to some of these answers. I don't think the problem is you're too young. It may be that he is not mature enough to take on the responsibility, and he just wants to wait. You need to respect that, however, if this is something you want, tell him. Communication is key! Talk to him and make him be clear about what he thinks towards marriage. Get a clear answer from him, and then go from there.
Best of luck! It's healthy to marry young. Believe it or not, these marriages are the ones that last...
2006-12-17 13:35:34 · answer #7 · answered by TLB 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Be careful, He is wanting to commit, but he doesn't want to do it immediately and the last thing you need to do is rush him and keep asking questions. My advise, you are young and engaged so keep working on saving money for when it finally does happen, the longer he takes, the more money for a bigger better wedding. And please don't rush a child, because a baby takes all your time. First enjoy your man and time with him, baby can come later
2006-12-17 22:43:51 · answer #8 · answered by mandy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you look pretty! OK, I'm happy for you two, and congratulations! I think he hints so many things, because maybe you don't choose what idea you like best. When he first mentioned anything about a new house, did you answer it? Or about him wanting a baby? A lot of men like to put a bunch of ideas out there to see what their women would like and if she has any ideas herself. You should think about what you want also and then talk to him. See, he wants your response, so that when you do come to a decision, you don't try to change it later. Just talk to him, and this time come to a settled agreement. Good Luck!
Krazy Libra
2006-12-17 13:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by krazy_libra_from_ac 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like my man.
He IS sure that he wants to commit to you be he's not fully ready to get married or have kids.
He likes the idea of having those things come true but not sure when.
Don't have a bay until you both are ready.Concerning the wedding keep saving up but don't do it until he is really ready and interested in doing so.
If you start pushing him then you may push him away.be patient but don't wait til your 40-that will be a waste.
God Bless your marriage to be a happy one when it comes
2006-12-19 00:33:21 · answer #10 · answered by Lil CeeCee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋