whats the funniest joke you've ever heard?

Question

post it on here "and for that "man" guy if you post you like men

Answer 1

Whoohoo! Level 2 here I come!

Answer 2

A guy bought a new Mercedes and was out on Highway 2 for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 140 km/h, he suddenly saw red and blue flashing lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 150, 160...

Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What in the world am I doing?" he thought, and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day," said the cop. "This is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

(JUST A JOKE GUYS)

Answer 3

Three guys are working on a house under construction. They all take out their lunches. The first one says if I get peanut butter and jelly again I will jump off this roof. The second one says if I get tuna again I will jump off too. The third one says ya If I get ham and cheese again I will jump with you. The next day they all take out their lunches and have the same thing so they all jump and die. At their funeral the first two construction worker's wives are in tears because they feel guilty for making the same sand which. They sit by the third construction workers wife. They ask her why she is not crying and if she feels guilty. She says no and in almost a laugh says " He made his own lunch!"

Answer 4

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Answer 5

Two jokes:

1. George W. Bush, Tony Blair, and Pierre Trudeau were in an airplane. Pierre throws $10 (Cnd) over the plane and says "I saved a family!". George throws over $1000, and says "I've saved 100 families!". Tony just sighs, and pushes George over the plane. He says "I've saved the entire country!"

2. There's three aliens who crash land on Plant Earth. They decide to seperate. The first alien goes to an opera and hears someone sing "memememe!", so he says "memememe!". The second alien hears a kid crying "She stole my lollipop!", so the alien says "she stole my lollipop!". The third alien walks into a theme park, and hears someone yell "WHOOOHOOO!!!", so the alien impersonates them, saying "WHOOOHOOO!!!".

Later, all the three aliens meet. However, they're at a crime scene, with an injured woman, and a police oficer asks the public "Who did this?!". The first alien replies "Memememe!". He asks why he did this. The second alien replies "She stole my lollipop!". The police officer says "You're going to jail!". The third alien replies "WHOOOHOOO!!!".

Answer 6

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?"
The hubby replied: "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

Answer 7

the aristocrats he-he and the one above

Answer 8

I think Jena should get the points for this one. Thanks for the laugh e1