Some funny, non-perverted, jokes that are easy to remember??

Question

Winner gets 30 points!!

30 points because i will post pointless questions that the person with the best answer will answer then i will pick them to be the best answer 2 times.

example:
Q. Wats up?
A. Nothing much-----BEST ANSWER

I really dont care about the points i have

Answer 1

One day, a woman steals a can of peaches. She gets caught, and say I'm so sorry I was so hungry. She's goes to court, and the judge says okay, how many peaches were in the can? And her husband, who was in the room, says 3. So the judge says, okay then, 3 years in jail. Just then, the husband raises his hand and say, "um, she also stole a can of peas."

Answer 2

The traveling incense salesman was walking along the dusty road out of New Delhi when he realized he needed a place to sleep. He saw the root gatherers hut in the distance and headed for it. He knocked at the entrance-way and the root gatherer came to the door and said "Yes". The incense salesman said, " I am a traveling incense salesman and I need a place to sleep for the night." The root gatherer said, " You are welcome to sleep here, but you will have to sleep up in the loft with my daughter." He answered "OK" and climbed the ladder to the loft. The next morning he came down and squatted down next to the root gatherer and accepted a cup of tea. The root gatherer asked, "Did you enjoy sleeping with my daughter?". The salesman said, "Yes I did very very much, but I have to ask, why was there rice in her mouth?". The root gatherer replied, "Oh, that is not rice, that is maggots, she has been dead for two years."

Answer 3

Horse goes into a bar. Bartender see him and says: Why the long face?"

What did they call Batman and Robin after they got flattened by a steamroller?

What do they call a Christmas song sung by a Jewish person?
Oy, Holy Night





Flatman and Ribbon.

Answer 4

y did the boy through the butter through the window? because he wanted to see butterfly