i have 4 kids, am divorced, just want conversation and companionship, discretly. But im not a slut, and would be devistated if someone were to think that.Men around me know of my children and may tend to think im looking for a father figure and provider, and i dont need either. Just want to have fun. Im single, told to be very sexy, dont even look like I had a kid, and look like a 20 something girl...dont want to give up all the fun yet, if u know what i mean.I need to know how to approach a man, to let him know im intersted, would like to become friends and date occasionally, without anyone thinking I am a bad person.I would appriciate any suggestions!!!
2006-12-17 11:17:36 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well all you can do is put yourself out there. If you're talking to a guy and the topic gets brought up all you have to do is throw out a hint like:
"Yeah some people think a mother of 4 would be taking all relationships seriously but to be honest I think us mothers want to take a break every so often and just have a little fun" or something to that effect.
See now if you're too straight-forward it might scare a guy off (unless you held off the convo until later in the encounter or relationship) so another question is whether or not you even have to bring up the fact that you have 4 kids... I'm not saying you should lie but if you don't think it should have an effect on whatever kinda laid-back relationship you want to have then I suppose there's no reason to bring something up that might ruin your chances.
Some guys might find you bringing up the topic a bit slutty but then again I doubt those are the ones you'd want to be hooking up with anyway. A real man will respect your life choices and not let them get in the way of you two enjoying each other.
2006-12-17 11:27:01 · answer #1 · answered by d.anconia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just let it happen naturally. If it's something that he wants too then it will happen naturally. Don't scare him off by telling him that you like him or want to hang out but are not trying to be sluty. Just be natural and be yourself. Building a friendship takes the interest of 2 people and then it just builds on itself from there.There are some things that you can do to encourage a friendship such as find something that he's really good at and ask for his help with it. Maybe he's a computer guru - tell him you need help setting up this or that. Maybe he's a great cook. Call him and ask for advice on something you're cooking up. Men of all ages enjoy sharing what they know and it's a great ego boost to them in having someone who is interested in learning about something that they are excited about. They love to feel like an authority on something and if you appear as though you're interested in those things and need them to teach you - that's great! You'll also learn alot. Wow and like if he's an architect or something - and you have a friend who needs his help - that's even better because then you're building a friendship in context of a group which makes it more comfortable for both of you.
2006-12-17 11:24:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time when I meet a female it is looks that makes the initial attraction... However I have found that once I get to know them I like being able to hold an intelligent conversation with them. I'd also like to have a substantial relationship, not just a f*ck-buddy or a one sided dependency slash clingy guilt trip... I guess that that would mean I find a woman's personality most appealing and intriguing, once I get to know them...
2016-05-23 03:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what make people think that you are a bad person or sluty like you say is not the people you are seen with but the actions you take while seen with the people. there isn't really anything people can say to you take make you seem less slutty. it's up to you, on how you want to act in front of men while you are out in a club or wherever you go looking for men. to find companionship like you say is looking for a relationship, you just deny yourself the use of the word.
2006-12-17 11:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by Adrian R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the first to answer your inquiry, I am the best there is. I would never think of you in the terms you state. I have to much self-respect to lower myself to that level and I believe you to be honest.
We have a lot in common except for kids, but that's OK. This forum is not for dating. but you asked a question and I answered it. I don't know if they will let me do this, but here is my e-mail if you would like to contact me directly:
rickhirsch@sbcglobal.net
2006-12-17 11:28:41 · answer #5 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ask him out but say for u guys to go to maybe a concert or someplace that doesnt really seem like a date. but he will only think u r slutty if u push it too far, like kissing or a point that makes u feel like u like him!!
2006-12-17 11:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say do you want to go out somewhere, i'm not looking for anything serious right now, but i just thought it would be fun to go out and have fun.
2006-12-17 11:19:42 · answer #7 · answered by Claire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first u shouldnt ask a guy out theyll probably think ur desperate..jus show ur inertested..nd if he likes u he'll come up to u nd start talkin
2006-12-17 11:23:53 · answer #8 · answered by time is precious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him for coffee first.
2006-12-17 11:19:44 · answer #9 · answered by Mintygoodness1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him exactly what you've told us....
2006-12-17 11:20:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋