How do you force yourself to "fake it until you make it"?

Question

How do you put on a happy front before others at work and home when you feel sad and down inside?

I want to not let my interior feelings show on the exterior and put on a pleasant face for the world to see. What is the best way to do that?

I feel sad and depressed about the state of my life and do not want to project that to others.

I am not enjoying my job because of the long hours and the fact that its a small company. Everyone always talks about their family and my child is not living with me. That really bothers me.

I just am down in general most of the time and tend to snap at others or isolate myself from them (not join in their lunches, get togethers) I don't want to force myself, but may have to.

Answer 1

What worked for me:

Set aside some ME time every day, that didn't cost much, and was enjoyable. That could be having a bubble bath, reading a good book, watching a TV show . . .

Make sure I was comfortable with how I 'looked'. IE - put some extra time into hair/clothes/makeup -- doesn't need to be expensive. If you're wearing your hair natural, that's all well and good - but it made me feel better to spritz in some gel and use hairspray to keep it 'just right', then I'd use a facial cleanser to keep my face/hands looking good, use some lip gloss, keep my fingernails neatly trimmed. If I knew I 'looked' good, I found it easier to FEEL good.

Make sure I ate three balanced meals a day, and splurged on something tasty but not good for me, every weekend. In other words, breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day -- and anything I wanted (candy, cake, icecream, takeout, pizza, you name it) on the weekend. Balanced diet = balanced emotional state -- this is a fact, not an old wives tale , , even if you're fit as a fiddle and your perfect weight.

Make a list of what I DID like about my life. IE, it was that my car was paid for (not that it was 10 years old and I wanted a new one). That my apartment had air conditioning (and the neighbours don't have). That I had a steady job and could count on the paycheck every week (even if it was small and at a company where I could not advance).

Set some short term goals down and mark them on the calendar. Always wanted to try chinese dinner . . . and then set a date and HAVE chinese dinner. Make sure it's a goal you can reach SOON as in just a few days or weeks. Then set anothre goal that is just a little bigger. It really helps self esteem to know you've actually done something you've always wanted to do.

FRIENDS - can't stress this enough. Find a person (or people) that you can talk to, share fun times with. If you don't have anyone, then set aside time to start saying Hello to your neighbours/fellow employees. Share interests . . . even if it's just what brand of coffee/tea is best, or what movie's worth seeing right now. It helps to hear other people's problems - they ususally turn out to be worse than our own. Try not to judge whether you can be friends with someone until you talk to them for a while -- I know this is REALLY hard -- but sometimes what we see on the outside, isn't at all what the person is like on the inside.

It's not a nice time of year to be feeling down -- I hope you find something/someone that has you feeling better soon !

Answer 2

I did this for years. Whenever I was around others I hid all the emotional pain that I was feeling. However, I do not recommend that anyone do this. I would do things like cut my arms, then wear long sleeves to cover them just so I could face people. It was one of the only ways that I could allow my real emotions through and keep a smiling face for everyone else.

I'm more with everyone else that is saying get help, get some meds. Believe me it is alot easier, safer and mentally healthier. If you are really that unhappy with your current employment you could always start looking for another. This may help ease some of your stress as well if you like the place you work.

Answer 3

I know the feeling too well..

I choose to just be myself and act the way I want to at the current time - if that ment isolating myself from my other workmates I didn't really care because I was safe in the knowledge that I could leave at any time. The difference between us is I considered myself better than my workmates whereas you are rightly envious of the fact they live with their familes.You probably want everyone to view you as highly as possible (whereas I didn't care and just left my job when I had become so isolated work was just a very very boring way to pass time and earn money)

To improve your life you don't want to fake being happy you actually want to be happy (obviously) I recommend the following steps:

Remind yourself your not free in your current life but you could be if you took a major lifestyle change (I always considered moving to Jamaica and becoming a fisherman.)

Then you need to look at all the people who are a part of your life -the people tieing you down - stopping u from boarding that plane to freedom, & imagine how they would perceive you. You need to look at your life from the outside (I used LSD but I wouldn't recommend that - too unpredictable.) And find your flaws

In order for your life to progress in the right direction you need to adress these flaws .

If you want something to perk yourself up I would recommend purchasing some St Johns Wart (I'm currently taking this it works well with depression and is perfectly safe) a pill of this and a cup of coffee get me out of bed in the morning. (whereas before I would lie-in for hours at a time doing nothing)

Answer 4

I've perfected this only I don't know how to explain it in words. You have to smile a lot. Not one of those big cheesy smiles just enough so people know your happy. Also don't think about your problems and bad things. Save that for when your by yourself. It is super hard and sometimes people will notice but try your best. In your case a counsler may be helpful. Not because you have problems, they help you let out anger and tell someone you problems. If you aren't open for counseling, talk to a spouse or friend about your issues. Once you open up to people more things get a lot easier. It used to kill me talking about my dad...now everyone at school knows we don't get along and they are okay with it.

Answer 5

Talk to your doctor you sound depressed. Also if your trying to out on a good face try to do as others. I put on a im happy face for everyone but it's not real. I go to a pscyhologist and you should talk to one they can help alot. Good luck!!

Answer 6

SNAP OUT OF IT SWEETY... life is great! look on each day as it is beautiful.. smile laugh play music and get on with life... tommorow never comes darl.. so enjoy it. work hard and alot so do alot of us you need to open up enjoy your work mates get involved SMILE:~) sweety SMILE:~)

Answer 7

Allow feeling bad, be open to it.

Answer 8

ok,question!why don`t you seek help? take some pills.

Answer 9

ask your doctor for antideppressants