I plan on proposing to my girlfriend this spring. My plan is to rent a beach house for 1 week. The first 2 days with her in which time i would ask her to marry me. I would then want our friends (4-6 people) to come join us for the next 5 days for fun, relaxing & celebration. The house i'm looking at is a long drive (6-8 hours) but has 5 bedrooms and a private pool. Is it ethical to ask people to help cover some of the price of the rental?
2006-12-17 11:14:26 · 17 answers · asked by Winston 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This is your deal, your party, and your idea.
In fact this whole week it sounds like is about you.
I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, because this is an occasion worth celebrating.
I would invite them and plan on paying the bill.
Real friends will offer to help cover the expense.
Trust them to do the right thing.
2006-12-17 11:19:56 · answer #1 · answered by ScottOttack 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seems like your heading into a marriage opening up financial issues before she even has a chance to say I do, Is this something that you can pay for without help and not be in a financial crisis? If not then think about after its all over, the planning of the wedding...will you need or seek help then to?
All I'm suggesting is that if this is a expense that don't have to happen and you can live without, then don't start the financial roller coaster before you make it to the alter, I know you want the proposal to be perfect, romantic and all that but financial issues do play a big role in marriage, If you can afford the two days with no problem then do those days when you get back find another way to include your friends where its not at their expense.
2006-12-17 11:24:59 · answer #2 · answered by yahoo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Traditionally, no it is not ethical. However, we are anything but a traditional society. I think it would be acceptable to ask them to help pay the five days they will be there but only if they are asked well in advance and all the details are laid out as to how much money, who collects the money and how and when it will be collected. You will also need to make sure everyone is clear about their expected arrival date and time at the beach house. As with any thing open communication is the key.
As for food....you'll need to cover the first two days yourself but all should share the cost of the remaining days. Maybe the others can do the shopping and bring it with them? you of course would have given your share of the money prior to leaving for the initial days.
Will your girlfriend know that the friends are coming up? If so, just plan it openly for the five days that everyone will be there and include her in the planning...then spring it on her as a surprise that you two are going up before everyone else for a little r & r alone. Just a thought.
And how romantic of you to be thinking this far in advance!!!! A little unsolicited advise....never lose that romance....always be thinking ahead of how to pleasantly surprise her and connect with her on this level...regardless of everything else that may be going on in your life---its what will help sustain your relationship and help her continue to feel special to you. congratulations and good luck to you both.
2006-12-17 11:30:53 · answer #3 · answered by j05gemini 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not expect them to pay.
IF they offer up some money to help out, then take it.
If they don't, but offer up something else "hey I'll bring the booze" then take it.
If they don't think about offering then don't ask.
You are using up two of those days, so IF they'd pay you should take that into consideration. If the rental is $1000 for the week, and you have six friends coming, each would pay $88.75 for that week each.
(That total came from 1000 divided by 7-number of days... which is $142 per day. Since you are having it there with your girl, $284 is paid by you those first two days. Then take $142 and divide by 8-your 6 friends plus you and your girl, and you get $17.75 per day. Multiply that by 5 days you get the total each friend must pay, which is $88.75).
(Yes I was bored so I calculated it).
2006-12-19 02:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that's not ethical. If you had asked them before you rented the house if they would like to vacation there and chip in on the house but, if you rented it for you and your lady to ask her to marry you, then I think it would be wrong to ask people to pay if they came to help you celebrate. I really don't know why you are asking so many people to come join you . It would really hurt my feelings if you did that to me. After becoming newly engaged, I would want to have the rest of the week to ourselves. I'm just saying.
2006-12-17 12:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by sunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You invite, you pay. Hey, do they care if you propose or not? Seems like they're fine with the way things are now....
And what if she says no? And what if she doesn't want a whole bunch of people around after so "romantic" an event? What if people don't want to drive 7 hours, or spend 5 days. How can they spend 5 days at this place, don't they work? Are your friends so rich they can rent a house and spend nearly a week in it at the whim of a buddy?
2006-12-17 11:28:32 · answer #6 · answered by sonyack 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
merely via fact somebody keeps to be with you won't propose they might desire to take part in enjoyed ones celebrations. he asked to stay at your place for a month via fact he had no the place else to bypass and you suggested particular. it is the top of it. if he's ignoring abode regulations like no smoking, sparkling up after your self, do your guy or woman laundry, do no longer drink out of the milk quickly use a tumbler, and so on... then you ought to have a issue. different than which you're making too a great number of this. now that he has revealed to you he never seen himself your chum, you opt to take offense. merely enable it bypass and whilst the month is over say bye bye.
2016-12-15 03:12:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. Just be sure you make it clear when you invite them. Tell them your plan and then suggest that a few of your friends meet you there and say something like "It would only be $.. each if everyone can come - bring a snack or a bottle of wine and I'll furnish the food" or something to that effect. Good luck and have fun.
2006-12-17 11:17:48 · answer #8 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As long as you run it by your friends first and tell them your plan and don't charge them for the two days they won't be using it, then no I don't think it's wrong. It's not like it's your own house or something, it's a rental that you will all enjoy.
congrats and have fun.
2006-12-17 20:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by LC 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you know your friends better than all of us do. If one of our good friends was getting engaged and doing something similar to what you are, I would not be offended if they asked us to pay our share of the rental cost. But I also know some people who might be. But like I said you know your friends.
Congratulations on the upcoming engagement!
2006-12-17 11:25:09 · answer #10 · answered by meow 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋