Hey, Please read the add'l details and answer.
2006-12-17 10:12:46 · 5 answers · asked by Michael 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My g/f was raped by a two close friends about 6 months ago. She has been through consuling and all. She is becoming her normal self again. She has been asking me is I am ok eventhough we haven't had sex and I said yes, I am fine. She says she really wants to have sex. Should I?? How should I expect her to react??(ie- will it remind her of the last guy, will she be freaked out from flashbacks)
I want to do what will help her and she says this will.
Please give me some advice!! (thanx!!)
Sometimes when I touch her a certain way, she still get freaked out. I have told her I won't leave her if we don't have sex, but she still wants to have sex. Should I??
2006-12-17 10:13:43 · update #1
If she's freaked out occasionally when you touch her, odds are she isn't actually ready (or eager) to have sex again. Try to make it very clear that you're perfectly OK with not having sex, and I don't think she'll push the issue.
2006-12-17 10:16:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could just be telling you she wants sex because she thinks even though you're saying you don't want to do it that you will leave it's not your fault it's trauma and insecurity
she has been ill treated by those so called 2 close friends and it will take her awhile to regain trust in people
On the other hand she could just want to have a memory of sex that is nice and with someone she loves and trusts
I would say don't do it for awhile let her just figure herself out for a little while longer and see what happens
good luck
2006-12-17 19:17:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to then do it, but go slowly and let her take the lead. She may feel that you are rejecting her sexually because of the rape. Maybe not on an intellectual level, but emotionally.
Just go slowly and gently and take your cues from her reactions to the things you do. If she recoils or reacts negatively stop what you're doing and try something else. She may think she's ready but may not actually be, but sometimes you have to try it to know for sure.
2006-12-17 18:22:28 · answer #3 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until she is fully ready. If she is not, she might freak during it, or might be afraid and try to hide it. Wait till she is no longer fazed about it. That way, there are no problems afterwards. Hope this helps.
2006-12-17 18:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by George 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think if she wants to then and your afraid of what her reaction will be then just ask her and talk to her about it. Also it sounds like she wants to and if she does then you have to take the chance and if she still has flashbacks and all then you just stop? good luck
-MIKE M
2006-12-17 18:17:33 · answer #5 · answered by Mike M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋