find it to hard to forgive and to let it go. Please, can you help me? I still love this person more than words can tell, but the hurt he has caused in my life goes beyond any word can tell. How to take the pain out of my chest and how to forget all this hurt? I don't see him, he does not allow myself to meet him and understand all that happened. It is like living in a "limbo" and I know I need to forgive, and forget. Please, do help me out.
2006-12-17 10:04:15 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
To forget is something so many of us want, but we know we can never truly have. No matter what happened with him and yourself , you grew as a person, even though you might not know it yet. He was your stepping stone to the next big challenge in your life, so thank him for that. You will move on, but it will take time, and some effort. You will grow as a person and be stronger from your learned mistakes. Love is a beautiful and terrifying thing, but love does heal what love has broken. Make sure you fill your days by being around people who love and care for you. There love will heal your wounds for sure. Just remember the time you spent with him taught you so many things that you will need for life's other challenges.
2006-12-17 10:22:51 · answer #1 · answered by S-Darcy-81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hun, forgivness is a choice.. not an action.... and forgivness is more for you then for the perpetrator..
You have a choice to be a victim for what this person has done to you (pain), or you have the choice to say, you know what? What this person did was wrong, I didn't like it, I can't believe they thought they could do this to me, but I am NOT going to let this persons actions in the past define who I am in the present. AKA Forgivness..
You don't have to ever be face to face with this person and say I forgive you. And you will likely NEVER get the answers that you want and even if you d get an answer, it will not be satisfying to you. Trust me I know this from experience!!
You can love someone, and at the same time know that that person is not good for you in your life and you let them go on with their life. That is loving to yourself as well.
"Forgetting" the hurt, well hun that just doesn't happen.. the pain that you feel will ease slightly and will not be so crushing in time.
Perhaps also there is NO understanding to be gained from his actions. When someone hurts another person there usually isnt ever a good reason or a rational reason for it. That's ehy it bugs us so much.
Forgive, yes, forget, well No.. sorry that doesn't happen.
I would encourage you to pray for understanding and healing and for reconcilliation in your own heart.
2006-12-17 10:13:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest writing a letter or an email... wait about a week, read it again, and then send it. Put everything you want to say in it, make sure he knows any specifics you need to share and make sure that he knows that he is forgiven. Since he won't let you see him, this is the only way you can communicate. It will give you the closure you need to move on although you will still experience pain. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you forget... forgetting will take place over time and you still feel the pain. The difference is that you choose not to get bitter over it.
2006-12-17 10:53:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard as it might be, you have to let it go. As long as you continue to "feed" this with your attention it continues to grow. Withholding forgivness does not affect the other person in the least. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for YOU. As long as you hold on to the painful memory, you are giving it life and clinging to the pain. Remove the attention, and it will fade away. Easier said than done, (I know) but it's the only way to bring peace and harmony back to yourself. Much love to you.
2006-12-17 10:23:59 · answer #4 · answered by MyPreshus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time is a Good reliever its a matter of time once i was like you but believe me you will find soon the best love in the whole world that will make you forget every thing believe me its a matter of time it will be hard i know and i feel you but work as you can you know when that issue dropped to your mined just get up and do anything dance read work cook do any thing but don't leave your mind to him i think he take enough from you so don't give him even a single second thinking of him he is fine you are not think more in your self
hope it passed soon
take care
2006-12-17 10:13:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all this is a vague questionhard to answer cuz you never said what happened but it takes time my friend . for give but dont nessicarily forget take it as a lesson as well give your self time it sounds like your really troubled by this . relax calm down then try to fix it. to take the pain away? try as hard as you can to work up the courage to find him even tho he doesnt want you to. does he know that he hurt you like this ? if so try going to him and apologising to him tho you didnt do any thing . he just might feel a twinge of guilt and break down and ask your forgivness act totally calm tho dont give your your self away i pray this helps ya ! ill keep you in my prayers best of luck! and GOD BLESSYOU
2006-12-17 10:18:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get involved in helping others and this will fade away.
You must focus on something other than yourself and your desires.
Busy yourself with doing things that benefit others.
Go visit a nursing home or something like that.
Volunteer for a project that will benefit others.
You need to see the pain of others and the faith of others in order to get through this.
2006-12-17 13:33:41 · answer #7 · answered by Theophilus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's more easy than you think till you love this person.. It would have been really difficult if beside the fact that you've been hurt by him ,you hated him... You can forgive him but you're not obliged to trust in him any more...
2006-12-17 10:12:55 · answer #8 · answered by savoir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,forgiving is not all about forgetting what that prson did to you ,but it's actually forgetting the pain.pray to God about this and al will work out so well,if you believe!
2006-12-17 10:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're clinging on to this pain as a way of protecting yourself from him. It's like a wall or a reminder to stay away from him.
It's done it's job. You don't see him anymore. Thank these feelings for protecting you and ask them to leave.
They're hurting you now, by keeping it present to you. You need them to go, they've done their job.
2006-12-17 10:10:41 · answer #10 · answered by The angels have the phone box. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋