my 9 year old son wont listen, talks back and calls me names. help me!!!?

Question

i have a 9 years old son, and a 5 yr. old son. the oldest is very mean to me. he calls me names, doesnt listen to me. and talks back. and even tells me to shut up. help me. what kind of discipline do i have that is legal?

Answer 1

There is a very critically acclaimed book called "The Explosive Child" that u can find on amazon or any bookstore.

It gives you a great plan to deal with a child like this that does not involve hitting him, which will just escalate your issue and teach him that violence solves problems.

Answer 2

Stop giving in to him. Talk to him in a firm tone and send him to
his room. Make him stay in there, NO MEANS NO. You need to stand up and be the MOM for once, don't let him talk to you like
that. The reason he is doing it is because your not doing anything
about it. I'm not saying to beat the crap out of him, but get to the
heart of the matter. I am saying this cause this boy has issue's.
And NO My family is not perfect ( I'm not saying this because of you
I am saying this because what I read from someone else's question, this is just to let them know my life is not perfect). Anyways you seriously need to talk to your son, like one on one.
Communication is the best policy. When I was younger I used to
get hit with a belt and I did what I did and figured what the heck
I'm just going to get hit and then go out and do the same thing
all over again. So hitting does nothing. Talking ,at least let you get
to know what he is thinking and why he is acting this way.
you hit and that is it and the problem is still there nothing changed. Just remember you are his mom and you make the
rules. I am 47 years old now and I have raised 3 kids, 2 girls and
one 1 boy . With my daughter if she ever talked back to me, I
would let her know, Who is Mom and NO MEANT NO, THERE
WAS NO BUTS. That was when she was a teenager, as a 5
year old She was just a spoiled little brat that I would ignored
if she would act up and I would send her to her room. My son
he was alright growning up and he too was a spoil brat and I
would do the same for him as well send him to his room. I would
tell both of them when you feel better, then you can come out.
Until then ,NO stay in your room. Now I have a 10 year old and do
the same for her, there is no different from the way I treated the
two oldest. If you don't show them who is boss, then they will take
advantage of you. Now My oldest are 22 with 2 kids of her own
and my son is 20 and his girl-friend is expecting their first child,
so they will be experincing parenthood. Just remember the
golden rules MOM RULES and thats that. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

Find the DVD or book called 1 2 3 Magic or look on the net for it. It works... It teaches you how to get you child to listen. You have to be consistent and in about 6 weeks you will see a major change. Good luck!

Answer 4

At 9 I think I'd smack his mouth. I don't hit my kids for discipline as a general rule but my son (10) started talking back this that this summer and I snapped and smacked his mouth real quick. That got his attention and he knew I meant business. I told him that would not be tolerated and that he was grounded. He got the message and he's pretty much stopped now and he hasn't been disciplined for that sionce then. Whatever discipline you decide to impose DO NOT put up with this behavior. If that what he trys to pull now and gets away with it it will only get worse as he gets older and the little one will start up too.

Answer 5

depends where you live.

in the USA and the UK (i guess you are from one of the two) you have the legal right to use reasonable chastiment,

he is 9, a little spanking to put him in his place would proberly do the trick, but the longer you sit and do nothing the worse it will get.

you can also:
ground him
take away his privlages (Tv, pocket money, going out side)
take away his toys and electronic equipment
send him to his room
corner time
send him to bed early

i use a mixture of those, and it works very well, if the above does not work then and only then do i spank.

but when you do punish him, make sure you explain to him what behavour he is being punished for. and when he is good give him a reward for it, this will give you the best result.

Answer 6

what you need to do is give him a good spanking. yeah yeah, cps blah blah blah, but you know what? it works. take all the cool things out of his room, take away toys each time he's a little sh** and give him a time out, make sure that the window wont be able to be opened. and have the door lock from the outside. then let him out when he is ready and calmed down and that will let him know that his actions have consequences. also if he punches his wall, door, or breaks his window, DO NOT FIX IT let him live in the mess he made and show him that he is NINE YEARS OLD not 2!!! he has to live with the consequences of his actions. also, ground him, take away television, video games, internet and the computer all together, no going out side. you have to be firm and DO NOT LET UP OR FEEL SORRY FOR HIM!!! it means that he has won and he sees how much your "punishments" work and will keep on behaving like a littl sh** . you have to let him know who is the parent and who is the child.
its about disiplining yourself too.
DO NOT LET UP!!! when you give a punishment you have to carry through with it and not just say "screw it" half way into it. that will only make his behavior regress!

Answer 7

My daughter says way worse then shutup. I am very firm 1-2-3 timeout. over and over and over and over. No aurguing, no talking, no anger on my part. Matter of fact, well that's a one. When she hits, then things change. If she sits in her time out and verbally abuses me, I ignore it, at lest she's in a timeout. After doing this... It actually works really well. It sounds easy, but it is not easy to punish non emotionally. Check out the book 1-2-3 majic. I used it at work with a special needs boy who was voilent and at home with my kids.

Answer 8

It's important to let your child know very early with any negative behavior there will be a consequence. If your child does something negative take away his favorite toy, ground him from looking at television, take away dessert at dinner. You don't have to use any physical type of punishment with you child. But the important thing will always be making sure the child understand there is always a consequence for actions, it can be positive or negative.

Answer 9

I dont know what he has that is important to him ex. radio-friends time-tv etc. but take the privlages away. He is old enough you should be able to talk. Maybe he is getting bullied outside the home and so when he gets home he takes it out on you. 1st check him out and get a feel for his surroundings and what his life is like. 2nd get professional help or family counceling. Good luck. Just keep telling him you love him.

Answer 10

Lock him in a room with nothing except for a potato. A potato is so unentertaining and not good tasting, so he will become bored and sad pretty quickly and will want your help.