It makes me laugh everytime!
A ghost walks into a pub and walks up to the bar. The barmen frowns at the ghost and says,
'Sorry, we don't serve spirits here.'
2006-12-17 09:25:15 · 27 answers · asked by Queenlover 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I never tire of the classics.
2006-12-17 09:32:42 · update #1
hope you like them.
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and, until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother saying, "Oh Mum! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
2 weeks ago
A man's boat capsizes in the middle of the ocean. He washes up on a deserted island with nothing but the clothes on his back. He builds a small shelter and finds food and water, but he misses civilization more with each passing day.
While walking on the beach one day, he sees a beautiful woman emerge from the ocean wearing a scuba tank and a wetsuit. She says, "You look like you could use a smoke." She unzips a pocket on one arm of her wetsuit, pulls a Cuban cigar from inside, and hands it to the man. The man smokes slowly, and tells her that it is the finest cigar that he has ever smoked.
"How about a drink?" the woman asks. She unzips another pocket, reaches in, and pulls out a small flask. "It's a 17-year-old, single malt scotch, aged in oak," the woman tells him. The man is almost beside himself with joy as he sips the drink.
The woman then begins unzipping the front of her wetsuit. "Want to play around?" she asks.
"Jesus Christ!" the man says. "You have a set of golf clubs
2 weeks ago
A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
2006-12-17 12:14:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yay, I have actually heard this joke before! you are quite right it is still funny. Merry Christmas.xx
2006-12-17 09:30:00 · answer #2 · answered by maria bartoninfrance 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very funny and I've never heard it before
2006-12-17 10:08:35 · answer #3 · answered by Lostlove 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You`ve been pulling Christmas crackers already?
2006-12-17 09:30:44 · answer #4 · answered by David H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll send this to my sister. Her little boy (who is great) turned six months three days ago.
2016-05-23 02:50:02 · answer #5 · answered by Margaret 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me either... anymore, I prefer the older ones.
Oh.. and Merry Christmas...
2006-12-17 14:28:50 · answer #6 · answered by scrubbag 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL That is funny. That's my first time hearing that one.
2006-12-17 10:17:16 · answer #7 · answered by iLuVMyFaMiLy:) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one, even though I have heard it before.
2006-12-17 10:58:01 · answer #8 · answered by flower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny, but silly.
2006-12-17 09:37:19 · answer #9 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope, I have not heard that one before.
worth a giggle.
2006-12-17 09:32:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋