What shall I do?

Question

I've got a friend who desperately wants a boyfriend, well not so much a friend but my friends sister, she keeps talking to men on the internet and then meeting them. They never want a second date and she keeps on phoning them and repeatedly texting them. She keeps asking me why they don't wanna see her again and what she should do. I don't know what to do! She is just needy all the time and whenever I'm online she will ask me for one of my friends phone numbers and asks me to get a date for her. It's driving me a bit mad now, what should I say not to hurt her feelings?

I mean what should I say to her to make her stop acting so needy and take a chill pill.

One of my best friends is on my myspace account. She saw his picture and kept asking for his number, and then she added him as a friend and said 'Ive seen you around and would like to know you better' he didn't even know who she was and she sounded like a stalker. I didn't give her the number because he thought she was a bit stalkerish. I wouldn't give her the numbers without asking. I've told her to relax a bit loads of times, but she won't get the himt. I don't want to hurt her because she is really sensitive. She's im-ing me right now and she's on about some man she's talking to on the net coming round hers. I can't just ignore her, because she will get really emotional about everyone ignoring her. I know I'm painting a really bad picture of her, but I am a bit woried now.

Answer 1

I feel sorry for you I had a smiler problem my friend was The same he felt as though he needed to have someone. so he was constantly txting girls going on chat rooms and seeing them!.
It was hard work keeping up with who he was seeing and worst of all I had it all day as i worked with him as well so yes I Know what your going through. My advice is this don't do anything. Seems like a bad idea, Trust me it will work Pay no attention to the texting and the phone calls it probably bothers you because your constantly waiting for her to finish a conversation or a text em@il or what-ever. the fact is carry on with what you would do normally and when she talks to you about it change the subject without her knowing it!. and believe me she'll get board after a couple of month's yes that's right month's till then you'll have to put up with her driving you nuts.

Good luck.

Gilly.

Answer 2

Oh dear! She is very desperate isn't she?! Why can't she get a 2nd date? If it were me, I'd tell her straight. Talk to her... If you were a guy, would you date her? If not, what's putting you off? Try and help her correct what is putting the men off her. Don't hurt her though, she sounds sensitive. Tell her that the right person will come along eventually, and they will find her, not the other way around. Tell her to chill out a bit more, having a boyfriend shouldn't be her main goal in life!!

Answer 3

Sorry to say this but you will have to hurt her feelings because it doesn't sound like the nice approach is going to work here.
Anyway its your friends sister so why cant they talk to her, this should not be your problem. On the other hand if your really want to help you have to just bite the bullet and tell her the truth even if it means hurting her, I'm sure she will thank you later for being honest with her.
Good luck xxx

Answer 4

Frankly you should NOT be giving her your friends phone numbers, especially without their permission!!! And especially since she is obviously harrassing them!

You should also sit her down and tell her the awful truth. Tell her to stop pestering the people she only had a first date with. She is extremely needy and unless someone "tough loves" her with the truth she will continue to drive guys away.

Answer 5

This woman needs to take a break and spend time with herself. A person can be complete in and of themselves. While it's nice to have someone around who adores and worships you, even then one has to reciprocate in some way. She sounds too desperate and men can sense that. No one wants to be burdened with a leech. Don't fix her up with anyone unless you want to lose your friends. One day, when she's not looking, Mr. Right may come along and sweep her off her feet.

Answer 6

Trying to find a date through the net is pointless, why not take her for the evening, maybe she might meet somebody who really wants a relationship.
A friend of mine was exactly the same, and she never found love online but in her local pub.

Answer 7

try not to be on line when she is around and that would make it a little easier for you or just tell her that the internet is down and it is not being sorted for a few days as there is a backlog of people who need it doing.

Surely this friends sister can`t be all that bad, I`m just wondering what she is doing wrong, everyone deserves a second chance.

Answer 8

Just say that you have no more numbers to give her and then refuse to let her see your phone. Or just tell her that if she wants your help with men, she's going to have to do something for you. Oh and about the her not going on second dates with the men, she's being creepy stalkish with them. Tell her to lighten up a little bit.

Answer 9

As a friend let her know that she doesnt need to be so needy, that she will meet someone when the time is right , you dont know when that might be, but she should concentrate on other things, and then when she least expects it, love will happen.

Answer 10

tell her do not rely on the internet all the time for guys....she should go out somewhere and try to meet them....and tell her do not repeatedly text or call them b/c they might get aggravated with her if she keeps doing that....as for asking for your friends phone numbers and asking you to help her get a date....tell her to stop if you don't like....if she is a true friend she will understand...