What is so bad about being lonely your whole life?

Question

I have no interest in getting a girl. I can't get the confidence to ask one out.I will never ask a girl out. I am just waiting for a girl to approach me. If a girl likes me, she should approach me. I know I would be rejected and then it would not be worth it. I like a girl, but my anxiety is holding me back from talking to her, and I don't feel like changing my anxiety, although I know it might make me depressed, kind if. I don't really feel like I deserve to be loved. And, I wouldn't really want to be around a girl for my whole life, as it is my life, and about me. And I am selfish and I don't like giving anyhing to anyone else, though I try not to be, I can't change my selflishness. I am just a lonely person, and I plan to be the rest of my life. I am in highschool, and I don't know if that is affecting my decisions or thoughts.

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with it. It is just not the norm of society if that is how you chose to live your life then by all means go ahead. The reason why most get in relationships are because when you have found that someone special it feels like the world is complete. Its like they are your better half and you are a better person for being with them. Girls can sense when a guy isnt interested in a relationship so they usualy dont bother with the person if they can tell they are not intersted and move on. If you are looking for someone be kind and show some interest if you are not then just keep going the way you are but you cant expect girls to always come to you b/c it takes time to like someone that much. hope this helps =)

Answer 2

This reminds me of the fox and the grapes. A fox tried numerous times to jump up and grab some grapes. With no success he finally walked away and said to himself that the grapes were probably rotten anyway. How does this apply to your situation? You are too shy to ask a girl out so you are thinking being alone isn't all that bad. A girl will never approach a guy who lacks self-confidence. Get a grip on yourself and wise up. Make yourself presentable and practice asking a girl out. When you are confident enough, ask a girl for real. Rejection is no big deal. Just think it is her loss for not going out with a great person like yourself. You eventually will find someone. Being alone and having nobody to share your feelings and life with is not the way to go. Think of your life in the future as a domestic partnership with someone very special. Sure, you may have to make some compromises and she will too. That is what makes it a partnership. Do not despair my friend. Look at your life and what you can do to change things for the better. One small step at a time.

Answer 3

"Lonely" is an emotion. You can be 'alone' - physical state - and not feel lonely.

You are asking about 'lonely' and admit it even makes you depressed. You need to do something about that and the very 'down on yourself' message you're putting out.
Try and focus on what things you do do well, instead of the things you think you don't do well or why you feel lonely.

Counselling could be a help. You recognise a problem, which is good in itself, now do somehing to change.

As to the girl - try asking her. If you never take any risks, you'll never get any change.
And it is fairly obvious it is affecting your decisions and thoughts - since you wrote this question!

Answer 4

Hello.....

You need to speak to a doctor, without your parents present.

You are suffering from an anxiety disorder, and if you don't get it under control now, and have some of the experiences that other teens do, it will affect you the rest of your life, in various negative ways.

Trust me, I am the result of just such a problem, and while I can now say that my life is good, it has taken a long time (40 years) to get here..

I would spare you that, if I could.

Namaste,

--Tom

Answer 5

green-eyed: Being lonely now, at this juncture in your life may not seem like such a big deal, but as you age, you will begin to feel like there is something missing ! Birthdays, Christmas, etc., begin to become "old hat" and lose their appeal. You have no one around to bounce opinions nor ideas off of ... no one to express a sense of love for ! You will then, try and "fit in" to whatever becomes available. Your emotional I.Q. begins to wane ... life is only and all about YOU ! Eventually, depression starts to filter in, your perspective on life becomes hazy and you feel totally, left out . Psychosis begins to extract its toll . Thoughts of suicide then, replace your will to live. "Green eyed" nothing is meant to live to it self ! People NEED other people in their lives to give to. This instills a sense of purpose. Recent studies and reports list people, who volunteer ( give to others ), as the most psychologically well-balanced people. These people are found to be more happy, depression [ mental ] is rarely found in them. If you decide to live a life-style of the "lone ranger" then, at least volunteer your time to some worthy cause on a regular basis ! Good luck to you !!!

Answer 6

You're getting it wrong — the word is "single," not "lonely." The two aren't necessarily the same thing. I'm single, but I have a ton of friends, so I'm never lonely. You're right to prefer singlehood over relationships. Isn't it fun to do whatever you want?

Answer 7

im in high school myself but you need to approach the girl she might like you but she probably shy to ask u so yeah but being lonely ur whoole life will suck not to offend u so try for ur self if it doesnt work at least u know u try bye

Answer 8

high school is tough on everybody unless ur popular. you end up thinking the world is a much meaner place than it is, but you'll see things get better....

Answer 9

if you don't feel like you are worthy to be loved, then most likely no one will..you sound very self defeating in your views of yourself

Answer 10

your OK man, some of us are just more comfortable being a hermit.