am i guilty?

Question

i was at my friends b-day party and a was washing my hand, and all of a sudden this so call friend splashes water on my face and walks away, i tell her in a nice soft way that i was hurt by what she has done and i wand an apoligy, she said no to the apoligy and said that what she did was a joke. i said if i had done that to her she would of gotten upset and made a big deal about it, i asked several times to apoligies she said in a mean way no and to blow this thing over board. so i gfrabed her drink and poured it on her and said you don't wanna say sorry then we are even, right back at you.. so then every one is looking at us cuz we are arguing, and every one say's it's my fault,, that i should of shut my mouth.. now it that fair. she poured water on me and didn't say sorry she was rude and what i did to her in return was wrong.. i know i should of walked away, but the old me wouild of beat her up. but i talked to her first and all i got was **** on.. am i guilty for this.

Answer 1

As the old sayings go,"Two wrongs don't make a right." and "Never argue with a fool,people might not tell the difference.".

Answer 2

Yes, you were rude.

I don't know why you made such a big deal of it, but she should have apologized when she realized you were upset.

But that does NOT justify your being more rude than her (or even as rude as her). The drink you threw was all over her, and was sticky.

That was mean.

That's why everyone is mad at you.

Can you see now that being rude doesn't solve problems, it just makes them worse?

What you should have done (after letting her know she hurt your feelings) was to be cold toward her until she apologized to win back your friendship.

Rudeness, besides being wrong and unpleasant, is less effective than politeness.

Learning not to use violence is a step in the right direction, but you have a few more steps to take.

I suggest you read Miss Manners. She explains how to get the results you want politely.

(After all, the result you got of everyone thinking YOU were the wrong one in this is NOT the result you want, is it?)

Answer 3

What she did could be interpreted as a joke - although I doubt it was. You made a mountain out of a molehill - pushed it beyond ANY limit and were way out of line.
I think you two should stay away from one another. Friends do not treat friends that way.
And I'd rather have a little water splashed on me in a bath with towel in hand than have a drink poured on me in front of others.

Answer 4

Sounds like she was silly to do what she did, but you took it to extremes. We all need to be able to laugh at ourselves even when someone does something to us that we don't like. Once she'd said it was a joke and you had said you were hurt, that really should have been the end of it. You did well to talk first, but then you ruined it by pouring her drink over her. If what she did really was a joke, then you have to accept that sometimes people do things that they think are funny and others don't. But we ALL do that at times.
I think you need to tell her how you feel but you also need to apologise, (sorry, I really think you do) for taking it too far. Then maybe you can be friends again. I hope so.

Answer 5

i just don't understand why u would bother with such a trivial thing....what a waste of energy, if u get pissed off that she splashed water at u, then u don't have a very good control on ur emotions, u will only make urself seem like the idiot.....nexttime, if u get mad tell her that what she did hurt u, and if she still didn't apoligise** then she's really not a *friend* in the first place. Get some better friends!

Answer 6

Sorry I have to disagree with most. She splashed water in your face for no reason and then refused a polite request for several apologies even after you told her you were hurt by her actions. If it had been a joke you would have been laughing. I think you showed remarkable restraint by not giving her a beat down.

Answer 7

It's never easy to do the right thing. We all make mistakes.
Just learn from it. This is really no big deal, I mean you didn't stab her. Choose your battles wisely. Apply what you have learned to the next upset.
Guilty is for courts...you don't have to feel guilty....
Maybe a little embarrassed for acting immature.
If you want your friends to get over this, start showing them
that you are taking on a more mature attitude.

Answer 8

Honestly, you know you should not have poured the drink on her. However, she should have apologized to you, and she should not have started it. She was wrong by doing what she did. And she should be very grateful the only thing you did was pour a drink on her and not beat her butt. Perhaps next time she will think twice about doing what she did and then refusing to apologize. Who does she think she is. God bless****

Answer 9

My rule of thumb is this: It's a joke if both people can laugh. As long as no law is broken, get someone back for what they did to you. You poured a drink on her---your equivalent of water. Try to get over it and ask yourself if her friendship is worth it. Let your heart and head lead you in your decision and don't look back. They'll be right.

Answer 10

that's because you dwelled way too much on something way too stupid. did she intend to cause harm? Most likely not... It's pretty obsessive that you wouldn't drop it...

a little water won't hurt you - pouring a drink on someone should've gotten you knocked out.

You can't demand that people act the way you would or you'd want them to... you have to understand how they are... she was being playful and you went phsyco... think about it - if you'd forgotten about the water, would it have ever had any impact on your life 30 seconds later? Prob. not - but I gurantee the impression you left will...