It is apparent that the loves of his life are...not in any particular order....himself, his mother and his son............he's never lived with a woman so am I wasting my time with him, given that I am looking for an equal partner?
2006-12-17 08:41:34 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Very interesting to read the different interpretations peole put on my question. The man owns his own home and earns his own living. For those who assumed I'd said he'd never 'been' with a women, you are obviously wrong. He has a young son who lives with his mother. His own mother lives elewhere he sends some time at his own home and some at his mother's. For those who assumed I am the mother of the son, I am not.
No idea what his mother thinks as I've not met her.
And yes, I do know what I think about things but was curious to see what replies my question would evoke.
2006-12-20 06:00:55 · update #1
Yes you are wasting your time.
You are barking up the wrong tree. Go out there and find a man who will put YOU first.
He sounds like quite a selfish man.
2006-12-17 08:45:13 · answer #1 · answered by bluenose 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well lets face it- its not the best start to relationships if you are number 4 in the pecking order already!
you would hope you were at least closer to the top with his son....
also not a good sign that he has never lived with a woman. its bad enough at any age but the longer people dont live with another human being (as their partner) the harder they find it to adjust.
and sadly some never do.......
i wonder what his mums like? is she ok with you? bad news if shes not.....
and if he doesnt see it - then you may well be onto a no brainer. at the end of the day you should really be number one (or very close to after his son)
good luck
2006-12-17 16:59:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has expressed an interest in having a relationship with you for the long term then I dont see how you could be wasting your time...maybe he just hasnt met the right person that he wishes to settle down with yet (presuming he does want to settle down as he may not want marriage etc.)...if he does then you could be the one - it will be difficult though as he has not made such a big committment and it may not go smoothly but what do you have to lose...if you have feelings for him then give it a go and work with him if you think it is worth it...its better than having regrets and wondering 'what if'
Good Luck
2006-12-21 04:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by Brown_Sugar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is where you start to learn to compromise. Which really should be the basis for any successful relationship.
He has to adjust to separating his mothers life to putting you and his son first, assuming the child will be brought up the pair of you.
You have to adjust again to having another man, who also has a kid, in your life again. It's gonna be tough, for all three of you.
But if it's what you really want you'll work through everything and have a good life.
Or are you looking for an escape pod? Answer yourself truthfully.
2006-12-17 16:50:02 · answer #4 · answered by Moorglademover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are wasting your time.He's 40 odd,has never lived with a woman(but managed to have a son)and is devoted to his mother! This man will never make you an equal partner,he has no experience of real relationships.Sorry.
2006-12-17 16:47:39 · answer #5 · answered by New Boots. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a long shot. MIght want to hedge your bets by starting to meet other people. You didn't say if he supports himself on his own without mom's help, but if he does, at least that's a plus. In other words, how much is the mother in the picture, is he dependent on her financially or emotionally?
Have you talked to him to find out what he wants from your relationship? The problem is that so many people are good at telling you what you want to hear. I've dated several men like this, who say they want a "relationship" but are in no position emotionally or financially or vis-a-vis the mother to do anything about it, so it's just stringing you along.
I say start casting your net around and see what else is out there. He sounds like a tough nut to crack. Good luck!
2006-12-17 16:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I wouldn't say you're wasting your time, but you will need to have some patience. A "momma's boy", can be a little difficult to deal with at any age. Since he's never committed to anyone on this level, he may not understand the dynamics of even simple issues and how to deal with them. I'm sure he's been spoiled by his mom and feels comfortable in that role.... It will be a tough, patient filled road, but not impossible.
2006-12-17 16:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by So lyrical 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he must have had sex with a woman, he has a son. as you know not living with the female, but have a son by her , does not mean that he has never been with one. Maybe your just looking for a excuse. I noticed that you particular order was.. himself, his mother and his son.. that means what? Next question?
2006-12-17 16:47:56 · answer #8 · answered by m c 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No offense, but what makes you superior to him? The fact that he's never shacked up with a woman? The fact that he loves his mother and son? Look, the way I see, he seems like a pretty loyal guy. He's exactly the type of man you want to be with.
2006-12-17 16:48:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Obviously he has been with a woman- he has a son. But he sounds like the wrong one for you. You seem normal, something I don't think he is.
2006-12-17 16:47:46 · answer #10 · answered by Tracker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋