Obviously, there will be conflicts regarding what others think and how to raise our children, but aside from those what other kinds of problems can you forsee? My finance is a third generation Turkish-American Muslim and my family members are Southern Baptists. Please no answers regarding the mistreatment of women in Islam. Thanks!
2006-12-17 08:16:35 · 13 answers · asked by Kodee 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Thank you for asking such an important question...
The problems you will have will mostly revolve around lack of education. The Islamic or Muslim faith is a very deep spiritual practice and should be treated with respect as that of Christianity.
You will need to decide in what faith to raise your children and if your children will be raised in both faiths. If they will have Christian names and Muslim names or just one name is their Muslim names will be important to that faith.
You may see tension on both sides of the family because many people only know what the media has shown them of the religions of others (all Muslims are terrorists, all Christians are bigoted and pushy, etc.) which none of those things is true of course.
You may have financial differences and cultural differences. The Christian primarily Southern Baptist type of lifestyle is a bit different from the faith of Allah. Will your fiance attend church with you? Is he comfortable in the environment? Is your congregation accepting of him? Will you be married in a Christian ceremony or an Islamic one?
Will you have dietary differences and practice Hallal and not practice Haram eating with your husband? Will you obstain from the 'impure foods/practices' with him? Will you help him in his holy day celebrations? Is he comfortable adhering to the commandments? Will you both have a Christmas Tree? Will you help him celebrate Ramadan?
Will he educate you (if you are not educated already) on his values? All of these questions can be answered by both of you vise versa of course as they should.
Another thing you will need to look at is whether you will adhere to the Muslim style of modest dressing around him, his family or during temple services with him. Will you be attending those? Are you okay with wearing more Islamic styles of clothing when traveling with him? If you have to go outside the country to his family's country, will you be able to adhere to the 'laws' for women? etc. Does he have a more 'western' view of seeing women or is he more 'traditional' in his views?
You may also want to seek marriage counseling before your marriage for these and other questions you may have. Many people plan their weddings but often do not plan their marriages at all. Do you both plan on having a join checking/savings account? Will you keep your last name or take his? Do you both want children? Do you both prefer pets? Do you have similar financial aspirations and goals? Can you both lean on each other in times of need and crisis?
The most important relationship question is this:
Can you both overcome your own problems to be there the way you need to be for your mate?
I honestly recommend that you do not marry until you are at least 28. This is because from a physical standpoint the brain does not stop growing until age 25 or there abouts and sometimes there may be problems with judgement accordingly (as in teenage behavior) -NOT saying that is you or your fiance, but just a common occurence that people get married to the 'right person' but don't stay married because of the timing of personal growth/careers. If your 'places' in life are different, can you both be patient to wait on the other and respect and help and sometimes just wait for them?
You both also will be established in your careers or be on your way to having the careers you want by then and will have established your own personal identities seperate from each other.
I usually recommend that couples of whatever religious background have at least 6-12 sessions of pre-marriage counseling (with a marriage/family therapist) before I will perform a ceremony. I say 6-12 because this will give you a way to work through the 'common questions' you both have and also help to uncover any hidden problems that you may face.
I also encourage them both to become very educated about the other's faith and be able to answer common questions that lay persons or family or friends may ask.
I also recommend the book 'Getting the Love You Want' by Harville Hendrix. His books have great exercises and case stories that can help you to uncover problems that you might not think are there. A GREAT resource for anyone!!
I hope this helps you. Congratulations on your engagement. If I can help further just let me know.
Mabaruk bashad ('May a blessing rest upon you'),
Andrea
life_and_spirit@highstream.net
2006-12-17 08:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by Andrea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As sala'amu o'aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barkatuth. I am not a Yehudi, nor an Isahai nor a Mussalman. I am merely a humble Servant of Allah [subanahu wa ta'ala]. I think, aziz, that the term "pedophile" is used, not taking into consideration those times, but, judging Abu'l Kasim Mohammad bin Abd'allah al Muttailib al Hashim al Quraish by the present day standards. Is that wrong? Perhaps from one perspective it is, but, from another it is not. However, rather that look at such little things, I would rather speak of what is Sahih or not. If you feel so much about setting records right, may I invite you to kindly Answer my Question which is aimed at clarifying a more important point of dissension among the Isah'i and the Mussalmin? The link is given below. Jazakallahun khairan, aziz. I appreciate your da'awa'a. Allah hafiz Akela, the Lone Wolf
2016-05-23 02:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kinds of problems ?...
Total world view.
Concept of love
The principles that God has given for governing marriage and how a husband and wife are to relate will bring constant conflict if you are truly and deeply committed to Christ.
Think about this one for instance...
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
What happens when it is not "fit in the Lord" to submit to your husband ?
What did you do with this verse ?
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness ? and what communion hath light with darkness ?
Does He believe in Jesus Christ as the Son of God and savior of the world ? If not, he is an unbeliever.
Show N Tell
2006-12-17 08:31:38 · answer #3 · answered by ccttct l 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Physically you should be good to go. Spiritually?....wow? Did you?...oh boy. I mean. ...oh boy. You are a born again Christian..right? Where will you be living???(this is very important)!!!
Needless to say the two faiths are not compatible. If you went into this marriage.totaly by your will..were not tricked or coerced.
then you must honor,submit and love your husband.
Needless to say this is not an ideal situation. However,it is what it is. REMAIN FAITHFUL TO JESUS.--in spiritual matters you must obey God rather than you husband.
2006-12-17 08:38:13 · answer #4 · answered by bonsai bobby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Major conflicts!
And watch out for the kidnapping that will take place when your visit the middle east with him. You'll never see your children again unless you stay and adapt to the muslim ways!
2006-12-17 08:22:43 · answer #5 · answered by Hank Hill 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Kodie,
I hate to tell you this but you are in direct rebellion to God Almighty. There is the commandment to not be unequally yoked to gether with unbelievers. A Muslim is an unbeliever and you are yoking up with an unbeliever. God will not bless your marriage because you are in rebellion to His commandment.
2006-12-17 08:33:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are able to talk about yr faiths openly and can accept each other, I think it will turn out just fine.
The two faiths aren't that much different in thier views on many subjects.
Your families might object, depending on how conservative they are in thier religion. But hope-fully you can both explain yr religions so they can accept it.
2006-12-17 08:32:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have seen problems among couples who are of different faith even different sects even when one is a catholic and the other a protestant, but u are ready to take a step with a person of different faith.. My advise to u is dont try to change him or her but try to understand each other , the differences are many dont go there find similarity and u will find peace.
2006-12-17 08:24:07 · answer #8 · answered by arman7861 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well...if you respect each other then there will just be the regular old problems that every couple faces...no biggie...just respect each others differences and you will be fine!
2006-12-17 08:22:37 · answer #9 · answered by Vox Populi Vox Dei 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have lots of problems. The Bible says not to marry unlike faiths.
2006-12-17 08:22:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋