How do you recognize when you begin to feel defensive in a discussion about faith?

Question

Debates and discussions can be really helpful and fun, UNTIL one becomes defensive. At that point, you stop listening and begin to make attacks at persons rather than ideas, and you become more willing to do anything just to defeat the other person and their argument, even if it involves lying.

This is an emotional response, and not one with much intellectual integrity. And it is easy to see in Christians, Atheists, Muslims, Jews, and just about anyone else.

In order to have a genuine dialogue, it's important to watch out for becoming defensive.

So what do you notice in YOURSELF that gives you cues that you've left the realm of peaceful dialogue and passed into the valley of the shadow of death?

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Hmmm.... If you don't start noticing your rising defensiveness until you've pulled out the weapons, it occurs to me that a bit more self-awareness might benefit yourself and those around you.

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Answer 1

When I read a question that states' I want to smash Christians to death." I find it hard to be Christ-like, I really have to pause and think about how to respond to those types. When I want to respond back with a hurting remark I know I am losing it. Christians are people too and even the apostle Peter whacked off a guard's ear when they came to arrest Jesus.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I begin to feel anxious and worried about winning the dialogue or argument instead of listening to the person and trying to hear where they are coming from.

Answer 4

When we believe our own ideas are infallible and everyone else's are inconceivable, than we know that we have left the realm of logic and into the realm of automation where we no longer think for ourselves. When we simply react, we lose reason.

I have my beliefs, but I question them occasionally to make sure that I'm not programming myself.

Answer 5

Very good point I guess when I am insulted or take offence you do have a valid point and have made me recollect some of my not so nice momments wich were quite a few.

Answer 6

When I start to quiver and stutter. When I recognize that awful quiver in my neck and the stutter on my tongue and sometimes I slobber. And soon my eyes begin to twitch. And then my keybored starts misspelling wirds nd omitng lters...

Answer 7

I think thats when ya start hanging people and chopping off heads to make your point.

Answer 8

I start quoting scriptures out of context.

Example: "Lean not on your own understanding."

Out of context that really sounds stupid, but very authoritative!

Would any good parent tell his children not to "think".?

Answer 9

Anger is my first clue. There are 2 issues that push my buttons. Abortion and homosexuality. I lose my temper sometimes, I just can't help it.

Answer 10

When I stop listening to the other person or start answering and retorting too quickly.