My new girlfriend recently learned she's pregnant by a guy she dated before she met me. She's now about eight weeks along and definitely showing. I think I love her and want to stand by her, maybe even marry her...but this whole thing just seems so complicated...should I just walk away?
2006-12-17 07:58:58 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thanks for everyone's responses...to clarify I'm 34 and she's 37...we both have children of our own. I know we haven't known each other long but I really think I could fall in love with her. We're both divorced and I know full well how complicated this has the potential to be...I've never been more confused than I am now...
2006-12-17 08:32:34 · update #1
Your life will be a heck of a lot easier if you just walk away. If it was your child there's no excuse for leaving, but given that it's another mans baby the choice is entirely yours. You didn't say, but I get the impression that she didn't tell you until it started to show... so can you really trust someone who would keep that truth from you? Also keep in mind that this other guy will (and should) always be in her life as the baby's daddy... can you deal with that?
2006-12-17 08:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Zloar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to look at why you are making this choice. Is it love or just an infatuation? Can you treat this child as your own if you decide to stay with her and eventually marry her? Yes, every relationship is complicated. But, if the only reason you are with her is for the sex, then definitely walk away now, because you wont stick if you don't have more of a foundation than the sex. Are you just with her because you want to feel like some "white knight" rescuing her from her present difficulty? Obviously, you have known her for less than 2 months, so you really haven't been with her long enough to build a solid foundation. Question your own motives for this relationship and ask yourself if she is someone you can build a life with? If the answer is "yes", then be prepared to accept this child as your own and treat him/her with love and respect as you would any children you two have together. If your motivation is selfish, then do both of you a favor and move on now before you lead her to believe you are a man of substance, which by your question seems doubtful.
2006-12-17 08:03:03 · answer #2 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God! I honestly don't know what to say. I guess it all depends on how long you have known this girl. If you were friends before you meant. But if you just met her and she's pregnant with some other dude's baby there's going to be all that baby daddy drama. You will be cheated on. I have a baby daddy and dated tons of guys after we broke up. But I still went back to him while I was with someone. You need to run the other way. You sound like a great guy for wanting to do this. But i'm telling you know be prepared. You could get seriously hurt.
2006-12-17 08:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by loveyoumuch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, Ur really in a situation. Well really think about what Ur gonna do. Making a big move and U really have to ask Ur self if U really can
handle the fact that this is some other mans baby. And well if U can really handle that and the fact that the father of this baby may want to b a part of this baby's life will U b ok with that ?
These are just a few things that U really, and I mean really need too think about.
The best of luck too Ya, and I do hope that U make the rite move. Happy Holidays too Ya...:)
2006-12-17 08:12:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you wanting to stay with her is one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.
But I also have to say that if you do decide to stay, it's not going to be easy. You need to have a serious talk with her, especially about the baby's real father. Is he going to be a part of the baby's life? If so you need to be prepared for that.
Also, are you ready to play daddy to a child and is not biologically yours? If you really do love her, then stay with her. But really search your soul to see what you really want to do and have a heart to heart with your girl friend. Maybe she wouldn't want you to offer up your life to raise her child... And maybe she would love you even more for it...
In my opinion I'd take the risk, cause if I didn't, I'd always wonder what would have happened if I did. And even if it turns out to be a mistake that ends badly, then you'd at least know and stop wondering about it...
Good luck...
2006-12-17 08:15:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ugh...she should have told u 1st that she's pregnant before she went out with u. i think she loves him more because they had the courage to have sex without condoms. it's less than 2 months, and i think she could have just checked if she was pregnant after they had sex without condoms. u THINK u love her. i don't think it's your problem. it's theirs, so let them think it out and avoid it as much as possible. marrying someone that u've only dated for a while is probably gonna hurt since u wouldn't know her that well like a couple dating for 3 years would. u don't know what'll happen so i think u should just be friends if you can't handle a pregnant girlfriend that u got pregnant by another guy. u can still stand by her if ur a real friend.
2006-12-17 08:10:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you need to sit down and have a very long and very serious conversation. She must let the baby's father know of the pregnancy. And this may open up a whole new can of issues. They may decide to get back together. This happens. So this is definitely something that you need to be aware of. Better you find out now rather than later. I wish you the best of luck. God bless****
2006-12-17 08:05:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you love her and you want to be with her then stay with her... but it is going to be difficult being with a pregnant girl by another guy because at times the baby daddy may think he wants her back for their kid or something.. but pray and it will get better if you let it.
2006-12-17 08:05:14 · answer #8 · answered by lil_miss_lynn33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude thats a huge decision to make .I dont know how old you are or what but being in a relationship where children are involed is very difficult If you are ready to settle down give up the partying and that life style go for it .JUst understand that you will be that father fiqure in the house if you stay with her so make sure you are ready its not just your life to worry about
2006-12-17 08:09:59 · answer #9 · answered by tigerb29209 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
standing beside her would be your choice. how old are you? are you finished with college? can you support a wife and child. if you make the commitment to stay with her that mean you STAY with her. that child will be yours in every way but biological.
one more thing. first time pregnancies don't show until AT LEAST four months. I didn't show until six months. are you sure she's only 8 weeks? sound like b.s. to me. make sure you're not being used.
2006-12-17 08:06:06 · answer #10 · answered by jyl l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋