I'm kinda panicked and scared she won't warm up. She continuosly reassures me of her love but I'm scared I'm trying a little too hard to help her warm up. I kinda feel rejected and insecure. Her getting cold feet makes me feel like I have to fight for her. Any advice on how I should behave?
2006-12-17 07:55:26 · 9 answers · asked by Ben M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She says she does want to marry me, she just doesn't want to have a date. Before I got cold feet she was planning for everything, guests, location, dress shopping, etc. Now all that has come to a halt.
2006-12-17 09:49:36 · update #1
Don't smother her. Give he some space while making sure she knows that you are ready for marriage and for the long haul. Be there, but don't smother her with attention that you would not normally give. Don't monitor her every move either or she'll feel like she's losing her freedom. Give her time and space to think, while at the same time letting her know that you're there for her anytime she needs you. Actions speak louder than words. Make sure you really listen to her concerns, address them and action them and don't brush them off.
2006-12-17 08:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her the option to pospone the wedding until she is completely ready. This shows you are not desperate to marry her, but still want to when she feels fully committed. Rejection and insecurity shouldn't be synonamous with love and marriage. If she loves you she will appreciate your boldness for giving her space and will feel less pressured and warm up. If it is not to be you will leave the relationship without a divorce and without losing half your belongings. Good luck !
2006-12-17 09:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by simonandtrish2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but what do you expect? You went all wishy-washy on her, and she stuck through that with you but it has to have had an effect on the trust between you. I'm sure she's thinking, "If this happened even before we got married, what's going to happen AFTER we get married?"
You should both see a marriage counselor together to sort out what's going on. What you did was put a little seed of doubt into her faith in your relationship; a counselor will help the two of you overcome what your actions have done--or it'll hammer home that the two of you really shouldn't get married. Either way, this is something the two of you need to do together.
2006-12-17 08:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by shoujomaniac101 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try not to be too pushy. Just keep reassuring her of your love and let her know that your not trying to push her into this you just love her and can't wait to be married.And for a cute little joke you could go with what the guy above me said. : )
2006-12-17 08:07:40 · answer #4 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HAVE BEED MARRIED 4 TIMES.NEVER COLD FEETMAYBE HOT IN PLACES I SHOULD HAVE BEEN COOLED DOWN:) IF SHE HAS COLD FEET THEN YOUR GIVING IT TO HER. CALM DOWN. AND HEY WHAT IS SO BAD WITH LIVING TOGETHER FOR A WHILE FIRST?DIVORCE COST A LOT IN BOTH EMOTION AND MONEY.
2006-12-17 08:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by us veteran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cold feet !!! Buy her a pair of mucklucks for Christmes.
2006-12-17 08:03:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Back off until she's ready. Pressuring her will only make it worse.
2006-12-17 11:58:11 · answer #7 · answered by Enjoying Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has the hoop, she has you. her gettting chilly ft make you sense you need to combat for her. Wait until the honeymoon is over, them chilly ft caught on your backside for heat temperature, she would be combating to maintain them heat.
2016-10-18 10:09:46 · answer #8 · answered by winstanley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait it out.....the time will come if she is the one!
2006-12-17 10:56:18 · answer #9 · answered by DRNoraSarasin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋