I need some opinions on my six year old daughter.?

Question

My little girl is six years old and an only child. My husband and I dote on her. She's in grade one, and like all kids, the teachers explain to them about if there's ever a fire in your house, to have an escape plan. The problem I have is that my little girl starts worrying about this. She tells me that she's scared about having a house fire in the middle of the night, and worries about this before going to sleep. I am unsure of the best way to reassure her. I tell her not to worry, we have smoke detectors, and would be alerted if we ever had a fire, etc.. Can anyone suggest a more reassuring way for me to handle this?

Answer 1

You know, you're really lucky. You have a very intelligent daughter. Most little girls around that age doesn't give these kind of things a second thought. It shows that she's thinking and that she's listening.

Maybe you can start with explaining to her your fire escape plan. You may not feel like its important for someone her age to worry about that but in reality, she's a child. Should there be a fire, the one who wouldn't know what to do would be her. So if you don't tell her the fire escape plan, she'll be the one in danger.

Plus, it'll reassure her rather than simply knowing you have smoke detectors. 'Cause probably to her, just knowing the problem isn't enough. She probably wants to know what can be done should a real fire occur. It doesn't end with smoke detectors.

Should she STILL feel insecure after that, I suggest doing a mini fire drill to so-called 'prepare her'. It'll benefit her in the long run anyway.

Good luck.

Answer 2

This is not uncommon at all, and is actually the response the teachers hope for.

They also were taught what to do.

Make sure your family has a fire evacuation plan. Show your daughter where the smoke detectors are, and then set one off for her. Ask her what she would do. Then when everyone is home, have a "fire drill". Announce that you are having a fire drill and have your daughter and husband sitting watching TV. Then set off the alarm and go through your procedure. If everyone did everything right, have another "unannounced" drill a few minutes later.

When your daughter knows how loud those things are and is assured through your actions that everyone WILL get out of the house safely, then she will stop worrying too much. She may still be aware, but THEN when she says, "what happens if we have a fire", instead of you saying what happens say, "you tell ME what happens if we have a fire."

People are killed in house fires when they don't have a clue. But when they are concious of fire detectors and have a plan... they usually come out without a scratch.

Answer 3

You have been given some good advice from other responders. The only other thing I would add is that you handle the questions from your daughter as matter of factly as possible. Explain that there are many things in life we prepare for whether or not they will happen. For example, explain that we may have an umbrella but it doesn't mean it is going to rain, only that we have thought ahead of how we would protect ourselves if it rained. Explain that in the same way, we make preparations if we had to get out of the house in a hurry because of fire. That the more we know what to do, the safer we may be because we have practiced what to do in an emergency. Do let her hear the sound of the smoke detector and explain to her before hand that it will be very noisy and the reason it is noisy is so that people will hear it no matter where in the house they might be. When she tells you that she is frightened to go to sleep, assure her that you are not afraid, that you know that everything is being done to keep the family safe.

Answer 4

Give her some feeling of control over the situation. She can help you make a fire escape plan. Go around the house with her and let her point out different ways she and other families could exit the house in an emergency. You could even let her help you plan a "fire drill" for your household. Family members could roleplay what they will do if the fire alarm goes off. Let her choose a spot outside where family members will all meet up if they get separated. She can be the "fire safety expert" of the household! Then at night when she is worried, you can remind her of your plan, and reassure her that everyone is going to be safe!

Answer 5

I used to be like your daughter--and in the past few years, working with young kids, I've encoutered quite a few like her! Here are my tips:
1) Devise an emergency plan, like where you will go and who your emergency contacts will be. Make sure she knows what to do, and how to get the needed officers in emergencies. Practice your plan to reassure her that if there are problems, you know what to do.

2)Teach your daughter what the smoke alarms sound like, and tell her what to do if she hears them going off. Give her situations (ie: mommy is asleep, daddy is at work, and you hear a smoke alarm. What should you do?, etc.) and ask her what she should do. Make sure that she knows the proper answers. This way, she will have confidence that she can help, too.

3) Build an emergency kit. Buy one pre-made kit or, I would suggest building your own. Use the instructions I gave you (see sources) and go shopping with your daughter and husband. make sure everyone knows where the kit is located and what to do in emergencies. Check the kit every now and then (3-6 months) and make sure it has everything it needs. This way, your daughter will know that she has everything necessary in an emergency.

Above all, just reassure her that everything is fine. I wish I knew the title, but there was this episode of Arthur on PBS where DW was scared to death of fires, but they did something similar and it helped.

Answer 6

practice the safety plan till she feels confident that she knows what to do. Show how the smoke alarms work by putting a lit match under so she knows they make a very loud noise (don't do this if it's rigged up to a monitoring place) and then explain that the chances of this ever happening are very remote.. If she knows what to do though she will feel more in control. Just keep reassuring her and don't worry, soon it will be something else worrying her. My son went from house fires to "what if someone comes in our house and kills us?" They will always have worries and we just need to keep reassuring them that it's o.k

Answer 7

That's so bizarre - my daughter is exactly the same! I haven't heard of anyone else's kids being like that. My daughter is 7, and highly intelligent. As soon as she started school she had a fear of the fire alarm, which was exacerbated by being involved in a real fire situation at a friend's house. It was a Christening party, and the buffet table caught fire. The fire department came, and we had to evacuate the house. No one was hurt, but it traumatised my daughter, who was about 3 or 4 at the time.

Ever since, she is obsessed by fire drills at school, and the teachers have approached me about it, because she has got tearful during them. Thankfully, she appears to have simply outgrown the fear somewhat. We always reassured her that it was very rare, and that she would be safe, and just getting older and a little wiser has helped. She also used to be scared of fireworks and thunder storms, but loves them now.

I'm sure it wont be long before your daughter outgrows this particular phobia.

Answer 8

I have read before of children that have this same fear. They say to have the children help you draw up an escape plan in case of fire. Post one on each door in the house. This alone should make her feel better. Tell her if the doorknob to her room is hot not to touch it to put a blanket, sheet or tee shirt in the window (show her how) and to stay low to avoid smoke but don't hide because she needs to be seen. Put a whistle on her nightstand and tell her to blow it only if she is trapped. Showing her that you have a plan in the event of a fire will hopefully reassure her.

Best advice I can give...hope it helps.

Answer 9

I went through this same thing.

My parents told me to make up an escape plan with a map and everything of what I would do and where I would stand outside the house.

They showed me out to pop out my window screens in case I couldn't get out of my room through the door and they also told me to practice crawling around on the floor and getting out of the house in case there was a fire, and feeling the door with the back of my hand. Things like that.

It's a good idea to have a plan in place any way especially if there really was a fire sometime, then all your family goes to the same place that you know is far enough away from the burning house.

If you have to, even practice with her, like they do at school, and in a few days she should be over it.

Answer 10

It sounds like the teacher may have not been quite in tune with the best way to go over this topic. That can be a very scary thing for your little girl. You can sit her down and show her how the fire alarms work, light a match underneath it..... then you could make an escape plan, once you have done that tell her "see, chances are this will never happen, but if it does we will be just fine!"
Chances are it will take her a few weeks to settle down from the class room discussion, I would have you family discussion ASAP and then be patient with her.