im 18, i am currently staying with a friend but i need a place of my own. i have been advised to report my mum into benifit fraud as i paid her rent and she never put me down as living with her to the council. i have before mentioned to my mum that i wanted to move out and now she is saying that it was my choice. i don't want to report her i just can't find it in my heart to do it even though i told the friend that i would.. i don't earn very much so can't afford to rent privately. i went to the council and told them but they said cos i was earning there was little they could do for me? i have so many belongings that renting a room would just be impossible to fit all my stuff in.. My mum is ill and i still love her.. i am hurt by the way she has acted and her total disregard for the fact i don't know how i am going to make it on my own?
2006-12-17 07:16:34 · 21 answers · asked by justalilbiscuit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your mum is ill, she may not be thinking solely of you. Try and get some time alone with her and chat about what has been going on and how it has made you feel.
Don't tell the council, you would NEVER forgive yourself. You only get one mum, so try and make this work - for both of your sakes. I am sure she would let you put some of your stuff in her house, if you asked her and then you could rent a room.
Moving out in the world is hard, very hard. It sounds as though you may need a short while longer at home to be sure that this is right thing for you to do. Talk to her, don't ruin your relationship over this.
2006-12-17 08:40:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People sometimes dont tell people other people are living with them as then it leads to a reassessment of whether they are entitled to the property. especially since you say you are working now and paying rent.
Her not telling to the council may have been for avery good reason from her point of view. She also may have asked you to pay rent so she has more money to pay for things as she is not getting any money because the council is not paying for you.
Maybe she is guilty of fraud but she has defrauded the council and it does not explain your predicament.
Can you move back in with your mum and pay rent with the councils approval? Thats the question . Your mum may be able to help you out in the meantime now and again without jeopardising her situation.
Its really difficult and all the best for you.
2006-12-21 05:09:09 · answer #2 · answered by Pandora 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, your local councel should of told you that they could put you up in a hostel until you find a place. I know it wont be nice, but i suppose your friend will let you stay then that would be better until you get on your feet. One thing is if you havent got a job you should be able to get job seekers allowance. This will allow for the rent and tax to be paid free until you get a job. Just explain you have been to the councel and they wont do nothing. If she chucked you out they have to find you a place to stay. If they have rang you mum and she told you that you left then maybe this is why you cant get a place. I would go and see them again. If they dont do anything when you explain your mum is ill then go to citizens advice. The thing is she may get done for benefit fraud anyway because if you are her son and you didnt live there before hand and she has kicked you out. They will find out you were living there anyway.
How old are you ? Have you got a connexions in you town ?
It maybe better if you email me, just click on my picture.
2006-12-17 08:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty sure you can get housing benefit. Go to the council, and tell them you've been chucked out, and have no where to live. Thats the key point, tell them if they don't help you, you will be homeless, and make sure your mum tells them that she wont take you back. As long as you don't earn over the threshold, which is a fair amount, about 15 or 16K, you will get benefit. It might take a while, tho. I don't know what to advise you about your mum, because I can't be nice about it...Sorry. Benefit fraud makes me really angry, as its taking the money away from people who really need it. I hope everything works out for you, tho. Good luck.
2006-12-19 07:51:12 · answer #4 · answered by iwatchedthestarsfallsilently 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go home and talk to her again she may just need time to calm down. What happened that ended up with her throwing you out?
Are their any relatives you can stay with? where is your dad? start looking for a better paid job or better still go to university get a student loan to pay for accomodation and get a degree that will get you a good job when you finish and allow you to live independantly. I doubt you will get anywhere with the housing they wont give you even temp accomodation unless you are pregnant or have a child-please dont do this to get somewhere to live. If all is lost with your mum take this as an opportunity to do something with your life and show her that you are a responsible adult. I am sorry I can't be more help this is such a difficult situation.
2006-12-17 07:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by Smoochy Poochy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're going to have to be brave and try to make up with your mum. You need to stay at her house as you have little option to go elsewhere at the moment. Don't report her, but if you can bear it, try to talk to her and say that you would like to talk to her and sort things out as you do love her. She needs you, and you need her. I think you may have to lose a bit of face - but you'll have a roof over your head until you earn more money to get your own bedsit or studio flat. Besides, she's your mum and if you will be needing her for years to come yet. One of you will have to make the first move. Show how mature you are babe, and do it. Lose a bit of pride in the short term, but gain so much more for the two of you for the future.
2006-12-17 08:46:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some to live and the best thing i ever did was go into a shared house, it was brilliant.
There is loads of people out there who own houses who want a lodger, loads of students who want to share so check your local newspapers.
The advantages are massive, first of all you get to share a house which is great for your social life, i shared with 2 guys and 2 girls so there was always someone to go drinking with, to the Gym with, clubbing with and so on.
Secondly, get in the right house and it's so so cheap, dirt cheap so you will have plenty of dosh and you'll need it coz your going to be going out so much.
Third, from a womans point of view you have security around you so your not stuck on your own every night, help as a knock on a door away.
The main thing is to go round and meet the people, they are the single most important thing because you need to get on with them, as long as you get a reasonable size room forget most other things, they even may have some storage for your stuff.
Have a look inside the house as you go around, is it clean in the kitchen and toilet? If you are a really tidy person don't go in a messy house or it will drive you mental, and the same if your quite untidy going into a immaculate house because you'll get on everyones nerves.
You need to be ruthless with the things you have and throw out as much as you can, if people can travel the world with a backpack for a year then you can afford to dump most of this rubbish.
This problem with reporting your mother is a separate issue completely, where your going to live is something you need to deal with NOW, it's all about priorities.
I think a shared house will be a good experience for you, it will give you friends, security, a social life and you might even save a little for the future.
2006-12-17 07:40:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't you have any other family you could turn to, a dad, grand parents, aunts and uncles ? The counsil should be able to help, working or not, get your name on their waiting list, or look for a local housing association and speak to them, if you ask your local council for an advice centre, or Citizens Advice centre they should be able to point you in the right direction. Do you have a friend that you could rent a place with.
Failing all that, go and speak to your mum, she is your mum afterall, and must love you. I could NEVER throw my kids out I'd have a hard time letting them leave even with somewhere to go.
2006-12-17 07:23:44 · answer #8 · answered by Jovi Freak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was in 4th grade my dad kicked me out because of a problem he had. Alls I can really say is do the best you can with what you have.Parents can do some really messed up stuff and not even realize how bad it really hurts there children.I dont know what kind of job you have but if your not makeing enough maybe see if a trusted friend can help you with an apartment or maybe pick up a second job.Even tho your moms sick you should tell her whats on your mind. Your both adults right? So by doing so she might respect you as one. Keep your head up :)
2006-12-17 07:34:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you should go back home and try sorting thing´s out with your mum, you say your mum is ill, I´m sure your mum need´s all the help she can get, okay she has done a bad thing, but there might have been reason for this. Sure your much better at home for the time being,until you get yourself sorted out money wise, you love your mum, and good or bad it´s the only one you´ll ever have . talk thing´s over with her, Hope all goes well & that you have a Merry Christmas
2006-12-17 07:27:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋