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i want advice from all parents out there my two year old has become very strong willed and i know that is good some how but im afraid he can injury himself because he is in what ius call the terrible two if you said dont do that he will do it. he has become defiant. he also has starting hitting when we dont let him do what he wants so what im doing is if he hit i put him on time out a minute by year of life like i read but he still doing it he is jumping up and down in the couch he is having also temper tamtrums i love my child to death its just that i want the best for him i want to know what else can i do to help him go troughout this fase thanks in advance and please i don't believe in spanking so dont suggest it

2006-12-17 06:00:59 · 5 answers · asked by user 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting Toddler & Preschooler

thank you all

2006-12-17 07:06:14 · update #1

5 answers

My 4 year old has been that way since she started breathing!!!! She is very stuborn and defiant! I have noticed when she starts up. Pay attention to what time of the day your son starts acting up the most. It might be that he is tired and fighting it. It is also a good Idea not to let him have sugar if he is hyper already. That goes for koolaid also! I buy crystal light(no sugar) but still taste good.

Also pay attention if he is bored. My daughter goes nuts running and jumping and is the worst when she is bored. She needs alot of 1 on 1 time doing something. Take him for a walk when he is jumping around and hyper,the fresh air tires them out and he can get that energy out. Even if it's cold outside. Fresh air is always the best! Just make it a short walk.

Spankings do not work for my daughter. Time outs would only work if I were to sit on her the hole time! lol- So her punishment is to take things away that she loves.Her special blanket gets taken away for 30 mins if she does not stop jumping on the couch. She will scream and cry for the hole 30 mins and I will not let her have it back until she stops and sits without crying for at least 5 mins after the 30. If I give in because she won't stop crying for it,it just tells her that if she cries long enough she will get it back. He is stong willed and you need to be stronger. With the hitting thing.. With both my kids,right from the start, If they hit me,I would hit them back. Not hard... but hard enough that they knew they did not like it. Like a little slap in the same spot that they hit you in. Same with biting, if they would bite me I would bite them back..again,not hard enough to hurt them but hard enough that they did not like it. At the same time I would tell them "see, thats not nice to hit,do you like it if I hit you?" Of corse they don't like it,but it shows them how it feels to someone else on the other side. If you think back to your childhood you might remember being called mean names by other kids and it might have hurt your feelings so thats why you don't call people names as you know how it feels. It's all a part of learning and every child learns differently.

You will just have to try everything you can think of and see what works best.

One more thing, I know all the doctors and health aids and teachers and everyone else says spankings are bad. But you know there is a line between a spanking and a beating. There is a difference between a slap and a hit...I was driving with my daughter in her car seat. (age 4) She wanted a gatoraide from the gas station and I had no money and I told her that I would get her something when we got home. Just as we were passing the Gas station she started screming at the top of her lungs and she threw a toy at me and hit me in the face! Then the toy fell on the floor by my feet. She seen the toy fall and wanted it back and I said NO! She then undid her seat belt and tried climing into the front seat as I was driving!!!! I pulled over in the gas station parking lot and jumped out to run around the car and get her back into her seat,she then jumped out my drivers door and started running towards the gas station!! She almost got hit by a car that was turning in!!!! I grabed her..pulled her pants down and gave her 1 good spank right there! She was embarassed and has never taken off her seat belt again in the car. What would a time out do in a time like that? Yes someone could have called the cops and said I hit my child but so what! She knew right from wrong as far as the seat belt and rules in the car go.And she learned a lesson. I talked to her after we got home and explained why she can't do that. Told her she could have gotton hurt. And I love her and thats why she can't take that belt off. Like I said all children are different and all cirumstances are different. I am sure you will figure out the what works best for your child and it will get better. Even try setting up a time for him to play with other kids would be great. I took my daughter to day care 2 days a week for 4 hours when she was 2 and 3 just so she could play with other kids and I could have time to get errands done. It helps!!! Good Luck.

2006-12-17 10:31:44 · answer #1 · answered by spoiledsarah25 3 · 0 0

I am going through the very same thing with my 25 month old BOY. My son is very defiant, and also self reliant. If I tell him he can't have something or no, he will wait until later and attempt to get it for himself. I have found time-outs to be effective, only he ends up in time out everyday for the very same things. It's just a matter of not giving up, and not stopping the time-outs. I also talk to my son about why he cannot have something, or why he shouldn't hit. I try to explain in a way he understands. And while I know that he doesn't totally comprehend everything I say, one day when he is able to, what I've said will be in his mind.

It also helps to give them lots of hugs and kisses when they do something the way in which you want them to do it. When they follow directions right away, tell them thank you and give them a high five. When they clean up without help from you, give them a high five for a good clean-up job. After a while they will start to come around. But keep in mind that little boys have a tendency to be more stubborn than little girls.

2006-12-17 07:48:36 · answer #2 · answered by Meesh 3 · 0 0

My son is 20 months almost 2 and is doing the same thing we are having to put him in time out for 2 minutes per year of age. So he is at 4 minutes in timeout and then we tell him no very loudly and then he usually doesnt do it again.
hope this helps

2006-12-17 07:25:20 · answer #3 · answered by kort 2 · 0 0

specific, i think of it particularly is wonderful. in case you took the direction and handed, why no longer? i think of it particularly is much extra useful in the adventure that your mom and pa are interior of reach. Our ten 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous daughter can no longer wait to babysit. we've 5 babies and she or he's sweet with the babies, yet too youthful to be left abode on my own with them. i think of it relatively is large which you adore young ones and desire to take duty in looking after a youthful newborn.

2016-10-15 03:11:31 · answer #4 · answered by cutburth 4 · 0 0

watch that nanny program... shes very good and she wont spank either.

2006-12-17 07:31:11 · answer #5 · answered by to tell ya the truth........... 6 · 0 0

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