Why is it so hard for them just to accept that it's never going to happen, and that they should just walk away like a man.....i have experienced this many times which leaves me baffled, and saying wtf just happened, i always seem to feel that it was my fault or something for declining, and refusing the offer......let me hear know your views on this?.....
2006-12-17 05:57:34 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We don't like to being rejected, we feel offended that someone would not want to get to know us, then it becomes a challenge, us men cant turn down a challenge or most of us, there are some that don't ever try so they have already failed, http://www.myspace.com/71134273 hey want to see my girls
2006-12-17 06:11:43 · answer #1 · answered by bob 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmmm . . . pay attention and I will tell you exactly why that happens.
First of all, it takes a LOT of courage to approach a girl. Some guys are naturally courageous, so that is no problem for them. For others, it is a thoroughly nerve-wracking feat. Why is it so scary? Guys fear rejection, and the implications of rejection (that they are undesireable and that other girls might not want them either).
Secondly, guys are fed all kinds of misinformation from movies and Hollywood. Unfortunately, they learn early on that persistence pays off. Consider how most love movies depict some guy chasing after some woman who obviously doesn't quite care enough about him to be worth the trouble. In the end, those guys always end up winning the girl's heart. In real life, that never happens. If the girl doesn't like you, your efforts are doomed. If you screw up at any point, you sabotage your efforts. Or likewise, they see movies in which some ordinary guys just approach girls and get accepted. They don't show the other ten approaches that resulted in embarrassing rejection.
You are right to be upfront to them however. It is much better for you to break it to them straight than to leave them with some glimmer of false hope. Don't be mean, but be honest. I suspect that is why they seem angry at you so soon. They are used to being led along and having their hopes crushed gradually, as opposed to having the uninterested woman put them out of their misery instantly. You are doing the right thing! It will hurt them MUCH more if you let them chase after you when you know that you will not accept them.
Have a nice day!
2006-12-17 14:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by anonymous 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After a guy asked me out and I said "No" he called me a "B**ch."
My thoughts on this is "Better to know now than later"
Don't consider it your fault, some men don't know how to handle rejection.
2006-12-17 14:05:47 · answer #3 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋