Hi everyone.. There is a guy who really likes me, and he's nice, but he's so needy, and kind of a loser. He's 28 and still lives at home with his parents. He doesn't have a job, and when I ask him how the job search is going, he says he isn't even looking. He spends his days playing on the internet, playing video games or watching cartoons. Everytime we talk he asks me if I missed him, even though we may have talked earlier in the day. I've tried to tell him that I'm not interested in him as a boyfriend and he just ignores me. I'm a professional woman, I don't live at home with mommy & daddy, I work hard for everything I have and it's really annoying to me to have some guy be so "clingy". He lets people walk all over him, he doesn't stand up for himself at all, he has no opinion what-so-ever and I've tried to be nice, but now he's gone all stalker. I don't know what to do. He's a good guy and an good friend, but I don't want him as my boyfriend. What do I do??
2006-12-17 05:54:15 · 9 answers · asked by Kaitlyn M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, this guy definitely sounds a bit needy. From the picture you paint, I'd guess he's probably lonely, down on himself, and doesn't have too many friends. The attention he gets from you might be the one real thing (in his mind) that he's got going on in his life.
Unfortunately, your continuing to hang out with him only seems to be further enabling him. He won't take no for an answer, so if you want his stalkerish attentions to stop, you need to take a firmer stance and tell him outright that his behavior's a problem and that you're not okay with it (don't attack him as a person, just focus on his actions towards you). If he persists, then your only solution is to stop interacting with him. If it comes to that, he may try to make you feel guilty or pull some other emotional card. Don't get sucked in or try to argue back -- just cut the cord and stay away.
You'll be doing both of you a favor.
2006-12-17 06:30:12 · answer #1 · answered by Blenderhead 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl. I'm kind of in the same situation, except I'm 19 and the guy is 21. He is exactly the same way, very needy and clingy and comes off as stalkerish. He won't accept that I just want to be friends. It is frustrating because it seems like some guys will not take no for an answer. If he refuses to listen to you and accept that y'all will never be more than friends then you need to stop all contact with him. Some guys just don't ever get it. No means NO. Good luck and God bless! :)
2006-12-17 05:58:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him honestly that you want him just as a friend and not beyond that.Hope he understands.Openly communicate and tell him that he's good.But dont make him feel like he's a loser.Just coz a person is unemployed and lives with his parents doesnt label him as a loser.He can improve his life if he takes his career seriously and become very responsible person.He can achieve greater hieghts when the right time comes.
A person doesnt become a loser by losing or not having money or health.He becomes a real loser only when he loses his human character.
I honestly dont appreciate when someone calls other a loser.My dear friend,this world that you are living in is temporary.we lose what we earn,we earn what we lose.
2006-12-17 06:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by Sheeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you have with this person still requires you to set boundaries and limitations. Tell him what they are and if he doesn't abide by them, any relationship with him even as just friends is over. He will whine and carry on and probably cry, but that is not your problem. Make it clear to him (as best you can) that you don't love him as he will surely ask why not. His developmental and social skills are not your responsibility. His parents obviously don't mind him at home and thus he has no incentive to develop his own life. If he stalks you, go to his parents or the police, whichever would be the most effective.
2006-12-17 06:09:39 · answer #4 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
chum deliver is the main precious ingredient in the life. as you are able to no longer substitute or re root your blood kinfolk yet in simple terms friendship is the relation it relatively is made by making use of your individual way. friendship will possibly no longer have definition in words even nonetheless it style of feels to you once you have good pals who continually stand for you no rely what the situation is and who's fault is they are continually their. in case you relatively need to understand what the friendship is in simple terms be a pals for anybody you will on no account ask this question for specific & ya specific we are in a position to bcome chum
2016-10-15 03:11:02 · answer #5 · answered by cutburth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to him again and if that dosent work just let him keep calling just dont answer he will get it after a while hope i helped
2006-12-17 06:16:26 · answer #6 · answered by love100 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that really sucks:( tell him yell if you have to nad if he still doesnt listn then find a boyfriend and show him
2006-12-17 05:56:06 · answer #7 · answered by =] 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are times to be blunt and just lay it straight. you tried to be nice. and thats mature enough but enough is enough.
lay it down.
2006-12-17 05:57:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ahhh say no to him
2006-12-17 05:56:54 · answer #9 · answered by Mike M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋