My girlfriend and I broke up 4 months ago after being together for 3 years. She dated someone right after we broke up and they broke up after 2 months of being together, and still talk. We have been hanging out and talking on the phone everyday and she has told me that she loves me and still has feelings for me but she doesn't know if she wants to get back together with me. I love her and have feelings for her. I have always thought of her as the person i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She just wants to be friends right now and hang out and talk on the phone which is causing problems though because its hard to be just friends when I still have feelings for her, and she gets upset when I ask her if she would think about us getting back together. I told her yesterday I needed time without seeing her or talking to her to lose my feelings for her so we could just be friends and she got upset but now says she understands. What is going on? Is this the right thing to do?
2006-12-17 05:48:34 · 12 answers · asked by fxtrader 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you love her.. i mean really are IN LOVE with her, then you will never lose your feelings for her. By the way it sounds she still loves you too, but she needs some time. If you were together for 3 years then maybe it is a phase in her life that she doesn't want to be settled down. She may love you but wants to be able to do things that you may not approve of. She knows that if she gets too serious with you now and ends up hurting you then she could lose you forever. Stay friends. Be patient and understanding and she'll come around eventually.
2006-12-17 05:58:15 · answer #1 · answered by jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. As long as you keep talking to her everyday you're not going to look for someone new in your life. The only way you can stay friends with her is if you get past your feelings for her. Try to start dating again. Don't start looking for a long term relationship, just to hang out with someone and get to be friends. If a relationship develops then good. But try to get a little distance from your ex. It will hurt a little at first but you'll become better friends in the end.
2006-12-17 14:06:16 · answer #2 · answered by flowerpowergirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that this girl is hanging on to you as a reserve while waiting for the other dude to come back or maybe a new one...sorry....let it go and find a good woman there are so many out there, even if you did take her back, the chances she would do it again are veryyyyyyyyyyyyy high. sounds like she is not ready for a real commitment, which does not make her a bad person. She is at one place in your relationship and you are at another. Just wish her well and ride off into the sunset with your head held high, then go buy a new corvette! ha
2006-12-17 13:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by Joyce D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is rebounding from a relationship, has no one in her life, and how nice for her that you are there waiting to fill the void. If she gets upset when you mention getting back together again, then you really should consider that the feelings she once had for you just aren't as intense anymore. Move on down the line and spare yourself this grief.
2006-12-17 14:40:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is true love, your feelings won't change after spending time apart. Take time without phone calls, emails, IM's, etc. Both of you will know after a couple of months whether you should be together. Just keep thinking this -- 'it's not about if can live with them, but can you live without them?'
2006-12-17 13:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is absolutely the right thing to do. You have not yet lost the intimate, emotional connectivity you have to her. Only time - and time away from her, as you have wisely decided - will grant you the ability to lose some of that. Your responsibility may line in dating another woman to redirect it or by getting involved in other activities to where your mind can't be cluttered up with thoughts of her.
Whatever the outcome - I wish you well!
2006-12-17 13:52:46 · answer #6 · answered by Lucy_Fur 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay. Here's the deal. Women don't like to be pushed into things. Sounds like you're a 'now or never' type. You really ought to ease up on her. You don't have to 'lose your feelings' for her. You just have to keep them under control when you're around her. Let things work themselves out, and before long, you'll probably be back together. Give it time.
2006-12-17 13:57:20 · answer #7 · answered by comitern9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is bcuz u need some time to get over her... And I think it is cute that u still have feelings for her... But if she jux wanna be friends then u should take the time and stay away from her until u know that u are not completely but a little over her.
2006-12-17 13:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by caramel chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said the right thing. Your ex- is manipulating you. She no longer has anyone so she is using you until she is able to find someone else to replace you.
You need more time. Your first step is to start dating someone new immediately, no sex.
2006-12-17 13:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by SweetBrunette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say to move on (since it's obvious that she doesn't know what she wants to do) ,find another girl who will appreciate you and not have you around for conveniences. Is that really fair to you??
2006-12-17 13:54:55 · answer #10 · answered by Lioness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋